I have been married for almost 10 years. Before I got married we got engaged for 18 months. I wanted to make sure that this was what we both wanted are to be married. We got married we was nice to each other. About three years after I got married. I started noticing something strange behavior from him.
He was having lunch dates with other women that worked at his job. He became really good friends with a few of them. He went over to one woman’s house to help her move a couch. He was invited by another woman to come over her house for dinner so he didn’t go but he did go with her to other places on the L train.
I told him I feel sad when you do these things. He said that those are his friends but he never stopped. He even bought gifts for these women even on Valentines Day. I kept talking to him and telling him this makes me feel sad. He said that he would not eat lunch with them anymore. The lady he went with on the L train quit her job. Another lady got her hours cut back so she worked more hours at her second job. So she was hardly around. The third lady still works there at the job. They continued being friends.
Years passed by, he kept in touch with the third lady that work at the job and the second lady as well. He kept buying those gifts even for Valentines Day. They get more gifts than me. I told him that this makes me sad. That you buy all kinds of gifts for these women. He kept saying that they are friends. He met more women at his new jobs become close to them. He bought these women gifts too. I kept telling him that this makes me sad. He says that these are my friends.
I had to get major surgery but thank God it was successful. I came home he had told all strangers and everybody he knows that I had surgery. He told people at his job and on the streets. I told him before I had the surgery I don’t want nobody knowing about it.
By Now we have been married for 7 years now. Now he shows even more bizarre behavior. Now the third lady, he hands been following her car a few times. He told me he must know where she lives. He memorized the license plates number. He told me that he sits in front of her house in parked car. I told him this makes me sad. He said that that’s his friend. He is not stalking her. He keeps doing this for years.
Then he said that he wants to dance where women strippers are. I told him this makes me sad. He says that he wants to dance because he likes dancing it will make him money. So I beg him to call the man and cancel. So he did. Then He was staying out till 2am and 3 am each day to dance. He said that he was dancing downtown Chicago. He was messing up at his job working as a teacher so he had to come home early.
Then when he is driving the car he runs red lights stop signs and drives on the wrong side of the street. But he only acts this way when I’m in the car or when my mom is in the car. A lot of times he is driving this way. When I’m walking he be putting the car in reverse almost got killed.
Then he keeps buying gifts for other women. The third women and other women he meets at his current job. Then he recently saw the third women her car was parked he knows this because he memorized her plates. He did not see her. When he was in the hospital, he said that he saw her in the hospital before I came to visit him. They talked some and she left. He even saw her at different places like star bucks and other places in around Evanston. Then he went up to the third women job to see her and give her gifts. This was every other month. But he had to stop because she changed jobs. She changed jobs without letting him know. He found out when he went up to her job that she left. So he called the second woman to ask her where she works at now. She told him and he looked it up and called the number. The person on the phone said that she does not work her. He got mad and said that she should have let him know where she will be going to work.
Almost forgot, there was a burnt cigarette in the car under the gas pedal and somebody carved the floor of the car with a knife’s so I asked him do you know how this cigarette got into the car. He looked at me and said know. I know that he is lying because he was driving the car last. This happened right after he drove the car. He had to know what happened in the car. This was on last New Year’s Day because he spends the night out. Then he steadily very obsessed with the third woman and other women. I got very depressed because of all this.
So I had to see a counselor a few months ago. I talked him about everything that happened. He said that I have some biological depression and some other depression. Biological came because I have a long history of family depression. MY mom is depressed, aunt and other people. Because of what happened to me in this marriage it made my depression 10 times worse. I’m never happy and I cannot enjoy life. I’m always sad and depressed. I cry each day. I have been every depressed for more than 3 years.
Recently I heard him talking to the second lady about grinding against another lady when he was dancing downtown. I told him it makes me sad. He said that he will stop but I know better he is a lair. He will do more and more stuff. !
I told the bishop he said he would pray. He just told me to pray, go to church and etc. I told a few women in church. Almost forgot something else, we went to the temple and got sealed in 2011 but he still acts the same! Also, he made me fail math class a couple summer ago. I told him that I feel sad when you do that. He said that that he was sorry but I do not believe him. Also, he said that some bad stuff about me to people like his family and other people.
He made it where I didn’t get hired at a place to where the director got mad at me. When I called her she said that stop having a man call me asking when I’m going to interview you. She said that he have been calling 2 or 3 times a day! I told her I’m sorry that he did that but I did not tell him to call you at all. I told him that she is upset with me cause you kept calling her. He said that sorry I was just trying to help. I told him to stop helping cause he is ruining my chances of getting hired! Everywhere I go to apply for jobs he ruins my chances of getting hired. He has to get to know the place and drive around stare at the place. Talk the staff tells them about me! I told him to stop and he did not stop. He keeps doing it. So now I have to lie to him if I ever want to work again.
Also, there are more things that happened but I cannot remember all right now! I’m certain that there will definitely be more things he will do to hurt me! When I talked the counselor he said that we have an abnormal marriage! I should have never married this person or dated this person. Also, he sees a psychologist regularly and he takes anti-depressants but he still acts the same!! I known him since high school I was 17 years old. Our friends introduced us but what a huge mistake that was! I just feel like I should never been born if my life was going to be this horrible! I wished that I could have been the baby that was aborted or miscarriage. You cannot miss someone you never had! I have suicidal thoughts now. I feel like my life is not worth me living. I’m better of dead!
