StrongMan

Good work. Don't worry about what she thinks. You're getting fit because you want to and feel better, not for her. And remember your therapist and bishop are your helpers, not your dictators. You do what you feel is right. You call the shots.

Unless your wife is age 20 or younger, if any communication online about sex happened before his 17th birthday, that is a "state jail" felony in Texas, and in most states. Arranging to meet is a 3rd degree felony, even if they never actually meet. Texas Penal Code - Section 33.021. Online Solicitation Of A Minor - Texas Attorney Resources - Texas Laws Doesn't matter if it's joking, just kidding, or if they never actually meet. The online activity itself is a crime. Again--it's up to YOU, not bishop, not therapist, etc., whether you want to press charges and report. But, if your wife doesn't understand the seriousness, which so far she apparently does not, she may need a wakeup call that you not pressing charges is the only thing keeping her out of years of prison and a lifelong listing on the sex offenders registry. Texas doesn't mess around with online stuff. Surely you've heard this story? Texas Teen Is Jailed, Faces 8 Years in Prison for ‘Terroristic’ Joke on Facebook: ‘Lol’ | Video | TheBlaze.com

So, how many pushups/pullups have you done so far today? How much weight have you lifted? Go--get going on your own goals and what YOU want to do. That will be important regardless of what your wife decides. The best way to develop confidence is to actually do hard things and accomplish something.

Oh--and in states like Utah, being aware of illegal abuse and not reporting it is also a crime equal to the level of abuse. If the abuse is a felony, NOT reporting it is also a felony. IF the abuse is a misdemeanor, NOT reporting it is also a misdemeanor. I'm absolutely not a legal professional, not in the police or counselling, but I am trying to reinforce that what she's done is very serious. Especially if she's in some sort of church leadership position and she's interacting with him through church channels. And--counselling doesn't solve everything. It's just a bunch of talk--which can sometimes be helpful. But, you still have to do all the actual hard work and make the hard choices.

What do YOU like, what do YOU want out of life? Go after it. I haven't heard anything about that except that you want her to be happy. It is well-known that most women are attracted to confidence, physical strength--muscles, and a man who is good at something, knows where he is going in life, and is working toward those goals. I sense too much concern about trying to please her, trying to do what she wants to make her happy. That's about as romantic to a woman as a guy asking her on a date and then asking her where she wants to go for dinner. Total turn-off. Whether or not you end up with this woman long-term, you going after your own positive goals along these lines will be very helpful in you attracting the best quality woman you can. And, in the amazing event that you remain willing to keep her, it may help her feel attracted to you. In the mean time, you can be clear about your boundaries. You will only stay married to a woman who is 100% faithful and is willing to evidence that with openness about her electronic and in-person communications. And, you have basic standards in which your wife is expected to pull her load. Think of yourself as an amazing catch that any woman would be excited to have, rather than someone's servant who has to put up with all kinds of illegal abuse. Act with that kind of confidence. And it is most likely illegal--perhaps a felony. I know two different people in prison for sending texts or e-mails about plans for sex to minors who never actually were convicted of having actual sex.

Here's an eye-opening site that relies on science rather than religion that might be helpful to him: yourbrainonporn.com He doesn't seem to really understand what porn is doing to him. How getting rid of it can enhance his own personal enjoyment of life and intimacy. Quitting isn't just something nice he does out of respect for you--it's for the benefit of his own brain. Also, I think it would be helpful for you to personally first think about and describe to yourself exactly how his use is affecting you and your intimacy. If you can identify ways in which you feel he's neglecting you or your not feeling his full attention and intimate passions, that might be helpful to describe specifically to him. Women experience physical desire differently than men, and many men worry about overwhelming their wives with their desires, or they're just looking for an easy escape to various problems. If he doesn't believe in the church, the bishop's primary ability to help is probably just paying for counselling. Which can be helpful. You can get LDS family services without the bishop, but he'll often help pay for it.