I'm in LDS Pathways and this weeks reading in our Book of Mormon class was 1 Nephi 1-5. One particular verse had and still has a profound effect on me. 1 Nephi 1:12:And thus Laman and Lemuel, being the eldest, did murmur against their father. And they did murmur because they knew not the dealings of that God who had created them. It has been the basis for much of my assignments and thoughts this week. I'm still not sure why. Is it because I can associate with being a Laman or Lemuel or am now sympathizing with them for the curse or punishments they received for their murmuring and disbelief? Please keep in mind when reading, I am a convert and although I have read the Book of Mormon, it's only now that I'm learning as I am reading. Anyhow, in a group discussion board a fellow classmate gave an honest assessment of how he would have reacted had he been Laman or Lemuel and it was just as they reacted. He went on to say that he couldn't judge them and given the circumstances, he would have reacted similarly. It reminded me that Laman and Lemuel were human and sometimes, with the miracles and the strength of Nephi, you tend to separate human nature from the characters. So until now, I never empathize with them until I gave them their humanity. I realized that I can easily be a Laman and a Lemuel but I cannot easily be Nephi. That's a little hard to accept because Nephi was a chosen one of God...we should all be like him. But Nephi's strength, courage and his ability not to doubt (even innocently) is extraordinary...how do you even begin to measure up? I suppose the blessings come when we try to be like Nephi. I'm trying to talk myself into believing that if I saw Angel of the Lord and the many tender mercies the Lord shown them, that i would be better than Laman and Lemuel but who knows. I do know that Laman and Lemuel had good parents who taught them as they did Nephi but why were they so different? Why am in so affected by this? I suppose i wish to know their background story, assuming there is one. I guess for now, I'll continue to pray for answers and for understanding in this plan God has for us so that I can be held accountable for knowing of Heavenly Fathers dealings in my personal life in the hopes that I never murmur against Him. Maybe that's my fear...being like Laman or Lemuel, especially seeing how easy it can be especially with the craftiness if Satan.
