Kelli

My true intention is to understand the process, to repent, to be forgiven and to be a worthy and faithful member. I need that. I have a Bishop that has said some things that make me feel like a confession can follow me forever. They make me feel that I'm being judged. He makes me feel like I can't ask questions. That what I say can be used against me later. He may not mean it to sound like that, but that's how it comes across. So I'm just trying to understand why he says what he says. And it does make an impact on how comfortable I am talking about details if I know it is all written down permanently.

My initial query that started this thread was whether or not the church is keeping records of what is said in confessions permanently in their files, even after a member has repented and been forgiven by the Lord. It seems the answer to that question is clearly yes, they are. There have been many explanations given ranging from "what if you did it again" to "what if an adulterer were called as a bishop and his wife knew", but the simple answer is that the church is keeping a written record that can be referred to forever of the details of the sin. Those are very personal things. It is one thing to say it out loud to a group of men. It is another for them to record it forever in writing in a record that follows you everywhere in the church. I guess what I don't get is why the church seems to hide this fact or at least not make it clear that it will be recorded forever in my files. A Bishop should just tell you that and not hem and haw about it. I certainly don't want things I say about very personal matters written down, permanently stored and then referred to out of context by any leader 20 years later for ANY reason, whether another sin I commit or for a calling or for any reason. The Lord forgives and forgets a repented sinner according to the Scriptures. Is the church doing that?

The only people I've asked have been a past bishop and a past stake president and both confirmed there are permanent records kept but then didn't want to talk in detail. i got the feeling this record keeping is secretly done so that those that go before a council won't know about it and will openly confess, not realizing the church keeps detailed notes permanently of confessions. As Neurotypical already confirmed in an earlier post, there is a Record of Disciplinary Action that summarizes what is said in the meeting and kept permanently on the records of the church. Thus, there is a permanent record. And a former stake president told me that those records are accessible for purposes of certain callings. Are these men not telling the truth?

And if I committed the sin again and confessed, why is the default assumption that I'd lie about or hide the first time? This is all voluntary so why would I go in to confess and not tell the whole story and what happened in the past. And what about the other case, which is what I'm most concerned about. I've repented, I've put it in my past, and 10 years from now my bishop pulls up my permanent records in regards to a calling to see if I'm worthy or have past discipline. A church member who has been in councils before told me it is not uncommon to be asked about past discipline when called to certain csllings (and then your record may be pulled up) or a bishop may request your records before he calls you. That is NOT putting things in the past.

An affair with an unmarried non member.

I really appreciate the comments, and I really want to deal with this the right way, the Lords way, but I recently learned from a comment from a church leader that this would follow me in the church forever once brought before the council. A clarification first though. This isn't child abuse or embezzlement or anything that needs to be recorded to protect other members of the church. This is something I want to repent of, and realize there will be a group of men that learns of it Now, but that shouldn't follow me for 40 years as it seems to if on my permanent records. I understand that after I've repented and been through the disciplinary process, the local clerk can't see it later on I am told, but any future bishop or stake president can pull it up as the notes will be kept somewhere in the church databases and they just need ask. I was told that the notes from the disciplinary session will all be on my permanent record, (maybe that is on the summary for the Report of Church Disciplinary Action Form as Neurotypical noted), but the point was that there will be a fairly detailed record forever that men in authority (my Bishop 30 years from now????) can pull up and read should he feel so inclined. I don't get that. That is not what the scriptures say about the Lord forgiving and forgetting in the case of a truly peninent person. Why should I have to relive this 30 years from now. I want to repent and put this behind me with my Father in Heavem. I am truly sorry and want to repent, but I can't face a lifetime of membership with every bishop who wants to check with church headquarters pulling up my records and judging me off of something done years before. I was told that if I'm ever considered for certain church callings - (primary president, relief society president? In my case, or for a man a Quorum president or a Bishop?) then I could either be asked or the bishop would check my records for past discipline. Then, 20 years down the road something I've repented off gets dragged back up again and I have to explain it. Or I never know that my Bishop has pulled these records back up in considering me for a calling, decided to find someone without past discipline and I am blacklisted in the church. That's not Christlike. I know that some like to call these Courts of Love. I really wish I could believe that. If they really are that, then let the church call them that and change the name. The church hasn't done that. It's pretty clear the church calls them disciplinary councils and I've talked to a friend that felt very strongly in his case , a Court of Love would have been a misnomer - it was a disciplinary council.

I am told that at a disciplinary council the clerk will attend along with the high council and he will write down everything I say and confess to? That then becomes a permanent part of my church records, even if I repent and am forgiven by the Lord. That doesn't seem right, but I'm told that is how it works by my Bishop if I am found guilty and subject to disfellowship. He says that my confession becomes a permanent part of my written church records and future bishops and stake presidents can request to see it, even years later after I am forgiven. Is that true and if so how is that fair? Why would anyone confess then? How would I ever be able to put a sin fully behind me if the church tracks confessions and my future leaders can read all about it.