Hello All,
I am new to the forum and looking for advice. So, I had my first experience with Latter-Day Saint culture when I moved to an area with a lot of members. Long story short, I have sort of been "in love" with your religion for about 9 years. Even though I felt like I was an athiest for many of those years. I remember reading The Family proclamation and it felt like HOME. It look at least 3 or 4 years before I had enough courage to meet with the missionaries. I did on and off. At that time I had no knowledge about Jesus, God, etc. I had no Christian background. So none of it made sense. The bible might as well off been a foreign language to me. But one day, out of the blue after meeting with the missionaries I received a revelation that duh, of course God was real! I started to find joy in the scriptures. Well, my husband was atheist. I had a lot of anxiety about becoming religious while my husband was not. Today this is still my problem.
Interestingly, I ended up becoming Catholic. Catholicism felt safe. My Mother and her side was Catholic in name only, coming from Ireland. It felt safe because that was my heritage. I love the traditional mass. I was hoping this "mormon problem" would go away. Actually, converting to the CC was a relief. I was hoping I'd fall out of love with your church!
The problem is, I never did. I realized all of my most profound spiritual moments came from when I was doing Mormony things. Listening to conference talks. Looking up topics on LDS.Org. Infact, I got kicked off a prominent Catholic forum for speaking too kindly of Latter-Day Saint stuff.
Recently I went to Sacrament meeting, and then the next thing I know my husband asks to go to Mass!! My non religious spouse now wants to go to the catholic church. Isn't life funny??
So where I need help is.... I don't want to make any sudden changes. I don't want to be baptized right now. But how long can I keep living like this? I am clearly confused. My issue is that I don't want to confuse my children. I worry about now splitting up the family on Sunday. I worry about raising my kids LDS if their dad isn't. I am not even sure I would ever want that to happen. I don't ever want my kids to be alienated from their Dad or think of him badly because he drinks beer or coffee etc. What if he wants them raised Catholic? Would I be ostracized at the LDS church for not raising my kids in the faith? Is that even possible given how important the Family is?
So I am mainly filled with fear. Catholicism seems easy. Nice. We'd all be together on Sunday. Mass is beautiful. No rocking the boat. But then... there's me on LDS.ORG everynight feeling like a very bad Catholic because I can't seem to let it go............
