So my wife and I have been married for three years. We’ve always kept our finances separate. My wife works a night job and I work a morning job. She technically makes a little more than me due to the graveyard bonus.
A year ago we moved out of a small basement apartment we were living in for free.
Since July 2023 we have started paying rent and other bills. she had a lot of debt when we got married. So we agreed that I would use my paycheck to cover the bills while she focused on getting debt free. Also we have some potential medical procedures my wife might have to undergo. So once she paid off her debt we agreed we would save the majority of her paycheck for those future expenses.
My Wife does not like talking about finances. Every time I ask her how her debt payments are coming, she shrugs it off as if she’s handling it. However, the growing amount of Amazon packages and other purchases were concerning. She gets really defensive and upset that “I don’t trust her.”
in October one of my close friends is getting married and wants us to be in the temple with them. That requires us to travel. I brought up the request and my wife said “we can’t afford it”
it was then I realized she had not been paying her debt off at all. In fact over the last year with no bills, she increased it.
I was also sad to discover she has not been paying tithing at all. We talked about this just barely and we set a plan to get everything fixed. That was a week ago.
today I just discovered she purchased a $1200 exercise item. When I asked her about it, she said it was my “anniversary gift.” The order was too late to cancel, so yeah.
i know my wife tends to stress purchase. She’s been feeling bad about her appearance and is dropping a ton of money on random items she’s not using.
i don’t know what to do, she values her independence a lot and doesn’t like Studying scriptures together either. She pulls every excuse in the book to avoid family counsels.
do any of you have any advice?
