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I have a small family, my wife, and 3 children. I was divorced before of 20 years, with 6 kids. I was very active in the church, up until the last few years before the divorce. Though I have tried to go back, I have never felt comfortable being there. I still want to go back. My wife is not a member, however, she is willing to be supportive. I love her for that. Every time we try to go back, it is like the ward is ice cold towards our family, and we feel horribly neglected. They make promises they don't keep, like getting us home teachers and getting my wife a visiting teacher. In the 2 years we've been in this ward, the ht has visited once. I understand all the ins and outs of the people of the church, really I do. I was in it for over 20 years, having been a convert at 22 years of age. Here I am 30 years later, having sustained many significant battle wounds, wanting to go back, but having no idea how to break that barrier of feeling unwanted. Many years ago I belonged to a ward that was loving and embraced new comers as family. My wife went to a cookie baking social last December, and she said she was treated so coldly, it was horrible. She said she understood why I won't take my family there. She also said it would have been easier on our family if they were warm to her, which they were not. I asked the bishop of the ward a year ago if there was a 'do not contact' stamped on my record. He said there was no such thing. Then I asked him how come we were being treated so harshly, so cold? We had been going regularly for 3 months, and were feeling completely shunned. How horrible was that? I did everything I could to be a part, helping where I could, being friendly, going to the meetings, socials, etc, but to no avail. Now I know a lot of you are going to want to give me the preachy answers. I would prefer to hear from the mature adults who understand life and people and relationships, and family, and disfunctional wards. The gospel is true to the betterment of mankind. It's the people who screw it all up. Just because the gospel is true to the betterment of mankind doesn't mean I can put my family in a disfunctional ward and look the other way. I can't do that. My kids are too little to understand, and my wife, bless her heart, is human and gets just as offended as the next person. any suggestions?