Addz25 Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 (edited) To keep it short, I'm young, and I've been trying to have a "steady" relationship with my girlfriend. I know I'm not going to try and break the law of chastity, and I try to put her first and I respect her, but I've really been trying to put my heart into our relationship and now I find out that I'm not supposed to do that. I don't know what I should do. I feel like it's already decided that we'll break up inevitably sooner or later, so what's the point in continuing the relationship? Should I break up with her? I'm really lost, and torn, and confused, so help would be greatly appreciated. My problem is I can't have a casual relationship with this girl. I don't think I can have a casual relationship with anyone. I thought that in any relationship, you should always look ahead towards marriage, and in mine I was looking towards the future and always considering it as a possible option. I know I'm now not supposed to, but I don't know if i can. Help? Edited August 3, 2010 by Addz25 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 If you plan to go on a mission, then this relationship could be a difficult challenge. That's really the crux of the matter. Teen steady dating can be a hindrance to serving a full-time mission. The thing with teens, generally, is they don't have the maturity yet to see a relationship in a way required for marriage. I am speaking from experience here. I had a steady boyfriend when I was 15. We were together for 8 years. We broke up because I jilted him at the altar. I wasn't ready - I was pressured into it by the situation. I mean, we've been steady for 8 years, the only answer expected from me when he asked me to marry him was Yes. But, as a 23 year old, I knew I wanted more out of life than what was spread out infront of me then. My maturity level was drastically different from when I was 15. Yeah, teen-agers usually say, Oh, I know this is going to last forever and ever... I thought the same. I turn 23 and it wasn't the same for me. Yes, I still could have married the guy and we would still have been able to make it through (he's an awesome guy - until today!). But I wouldn't have had the experiences I have now. After we broke up at age 23, I never went into this dating thing. Not for me. I have very deep friendships with a lot of people. My husband was my very good friend for 2 years before he asked me to marry him... I was 27. I said, Yes, and we were married a week later. This is my experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryanh Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 (edited) Sounds like you know what is right choice. Now, you simply need to frame it correctly, and make the decision for yourself. A huge part of dating is rounding out your experiences by interacting with a wide variety of young women. Do you really need to 'break up', or simply cool it and not date steadily and exclusively? I would suggest you keep developing your friendship with her, but keep it at an appropriate level - casual, not steady - and not exclusive. Keep dating others in groups. Have you recently reviewed the guidelines in For the Strength of Youth recently? Edited August 3, 2010 by ryanh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addz25 Posted August 3, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 Thank you both, that was honestly really helpful. if anyone else has advice to give as well it would be very welcomed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryanh Posted August 4, 2010 Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 Have you spoken with your parents about your dilemma? No one is going to be able to give you as specific and as loving advice as those that are closest to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addz25 Posted August 4, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 Have you spoken with your parents about your dilemma? No one is going to be able to give you as specific and as loving advice as those that are closest to you.unfortunately my parents arent lds... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryanh Posted August 4, 2010 Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 Doesn't matter. I'm sorry I can't recall the recent general conference talk that keeps nagging at me in relation to your dilemma. Perhaps someone else can recall where it was spoken of that we should seek counsel first from our parents. They love us more dearly, and care for us more closely, and understand the situation - better than anyone else. They may not have the same moral standards in relations to sexual activity before marriage, but I can guarantee you they have your best interest in success in partner selection in mind. They will have passed through trials of mate selection themselves, and know of other's situations. They love you, and will be a good resource for you, even if not LDS. Hey, are you going to activate your account? I couldn't send you a PM. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addz25 Posted August 4, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 You're very right, thank you. not much more i can say haha - ill try talking to them. oh, oops, im kind of new here, i think i saw how to do it though. i will Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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