Please help, my husband has struggled with porn addiction for years but now...

[chikislulu]

Hi, I need some help. My husband and I have been married for 4months now and I knew when were dating that he was going through the repentance process for addiction to porn and self pleasure, he relapsed a couple times while we dated and were engaged but he was ”sober” while we prepared to get sealed in the temple and has been good the 4 months that we've been married. However, the other day I looked through his browser history on his computer and phone. There was no porn sites viewed so I was relieved but he googled searched an actress' name and lookes at a whole bunch of her images and im basically all her pics she is in her underwear or a swimsuit and always showing a lot of skin. I don't know if I should be worried since its not technically porn but it still makes me uncomfortable. Hes alos looked at Facebook pages of girls that dress up like video games characters but they ae always so scandily clad. Should I bring it up to him? Or am I over worrying?

[Praetorian_Brow]

I would mention it to him in a non-confrontational way, as viewing those images if he has such a problem is like saying I'll just drink a glass of wine if I was an alcoholic. They could be accidental viewings as the internet is full of varying degrees of porn, however, you do have a valid concern and as his wife, you should say that this makes you uncomfortable, as it should.

Those images he has searched do intrigue him and could in all likelihood excite him in such a way as to reach the release point, which is the point of viewing such things. The release to be politically correct is actually the harder activity to control, as that is the objective. As most porn addicts started when they were younger by viewing underwear or bikinis habitually, then progressed to softporn (nude but no sex), then viewing hard porn (sexual acts). The habitual viewing of any women on the internet is inappropriate, as that detracts the relationship you two have as husband and wife.

Very few people understand that simply stopping a habitual problem is simply not enough, as the activity needs to be replaced with another constructive activity. Many porn addicts, which once again, varies in severity depending on the individual, start to depend on the behaviour as a coping mechanism for underlying emotional issues from childhood, so require therapy of some sort to relearn emotional coping mechanisms.

Most likely he is also very good at covering his tracks in the past, but I would suggest a friendly chat with zero guilt tripping, zero confrontation and speak of it in a loving manner. Then I would suggest that you install a filter of some kind on the computers. One that you have the password to and one that makes him accountable to someone for his activities.