Why I Didn’t Marry an RM After All

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Kylie Ravsten

Joined: May 2014

The following article was written by Victoria Adam for LDS Living.ย 

Back when I was in the Young Women program, I remember being told that RM needed to be at the top of my dating criteria list. Supposedly,ย dating and marrying an RMย meant that my husband-to-be would honor his priesthood, love the Lord, and be everything a good Mormon girl wantedโ€”short of being Prince Charming himself.

But I didn’t marry an RM.

It wasn’t for lack of choiceโ€”I attended BYU for four years. There were RMs aplenty, and I dated my fair share. Missionary service was one of the things I asked my dates about, mostly because it made for easy conversation.

But that got me into trouble, more than once, when I asked sweet, active members about their missionsโ€”and they hadnโ€™t served or had returned home early. It was always awkward, and I felt terrible for intruding into something they clearly found painful. What was a girl to do?

Enter Mark. He was a quiet boy, but sweet, and as I later learned, he had a crush on me from our first meeting. He also had a secret: he hadnโ€™t served a mission. As we got to know each other throughout the semester, he felt ashamed of his past and was afraid to tell me that he hadnโ€™t served.

Read Adam’s full article at LDSliving.com.ย