AliciaB

I'm from Yorkshire in England and we genraly only use the term hun or honny when speaking to our friends. I've never said it to a stranger or had a stranger say it to me. If a stranger was to say it to me then I'd be a little uncomfortable with that.

Thanks for the clarification, that was my understanding also.

Ok, bare with me, I have social anxiety disorder and find it hard to share my opinion on anything for fear of getting it wrong. My answers to her questions were very basic, I came to find the church 18 months ago and before that I had no faith, so I am still in the early stages of my learning. I said that we can show our obedience by keeping the commandments, praying daily, both personal prayer and family prayer, we can read and study our scriptures, offer service and then I went on to add some of the things I do as a latter day saint like, following the prophet, keeping the word of wisdom, paying tithing, obeying the law of chastity, willingly accepting any calling I am given and doing temple work. I also said that obedience and faith go hand in hand because obedience is easier when we have faith enough to do what is required of us, with obedience our faith grows. I also didn't fully understand her second question so told her I would try and see what others thought.

A good friend of mine asked me a question that I found myself unable to answer fully, so I was hoping you lovely people here could help me out a bit? " How can we show our obedience to the Lord and in what ways can we be obedient?" also "Other than the sacrifice of animals and the ten commandments, do the laws and commandments in the old testiment still apply?" My friend is not a member of the church, but she did accept a copy of The Book of Mormon from me. I would love to be able to fully answer her questions and help her gain testimony that the church is true. Alicia.

I haven't managed to read through all posts yet, but someone did say that its one of those "what would Jesus do topics" I see it as a " what if jesus was present topic" I currently have a 6 week old baby that feeds every 2 hours, sometimes less (usually on a Sunday when I feel uncomfortable feeding) but I ask myself, if Jesus was sat in the room with me, do I think he would be offended by me nursing my baby? and I don't think he would be, because it is very natural and the best for my baby, and if he needs feeding he has to be fed. Making my baby wait till I find a suitable room could take a while and is a little bit cruel to my baby. My ward doesn't have a mothers lounge, just a very small seat in the changing area in the toilets! not the kind of place I want to eat my lunch so I don't want my baby to have to eat there either. I try to find a free room if there is one, if not I have no choice but to feed him during my lessons. I have not fed him during sacrament yet because for me the chapel is the one place I don't feel comfortable feeding, mainly because of how everyone else might feel around me, so I take myself out but miss most of the talks. When I am breast feeding my son around other people I always ask them if it is ok first because babies can be unpredictable and pull blankets off when latching on. I always try to be modest when feeding, but when things slip it's embarrasing enough for me, without feeling bad that I may have offended someone unintentionally. Sometimes I think mothers rooms are there not just for privacy (as some mothers don't want to feed in public) but to make everyone else feel better ( the people that try to push you into a little room because they don't believe it's right to feed in public.) just my opinion. Sorry to make it a long reply.

I am a member, and my husband is not a member, nor is he religious. We have four wonderful children that I share the gospel with, my husband doesn't stop me or tell them that it's all rubbish, but he doesn't say it's true either. Even though he doesn't believe yet, he still comes with us every Sunday and to any ward activities, he does this for our children, and because he has made some great friends in our ward. Our bishop calls him a dry mormon, although he hasn't been baptized or live by the WoW he is worthy in every other way. I've only been a member for a year, so I am still praying that my husband will gain a testimony and one day want to be baptized. I have faith that one day he will, which is why I am waiting to go to the temple, when I go I want my husband to come with me. Our family is happy, and there is no conflict because my husband can see the blessings being a member offers and is more than happy for our children to be raised in the church. If the man you are dating is respectful of your beliefs and has no faith in any religion then it may workout, have you asked him if he would be happy for you to raise yours and his future children in the church? Alicia.

I spoke with my friend earlier this morning. I told her what I had to tell her and she was fine with that. She spoke with her husband, told him everything icluding the pregnancy. Things are still rocky for them, but he has told her he will give her another chance. They haven't decided what to do about the baby yet, but I did tell her now he knows, then adoption maybe a better option. She is thinking about it and it is somthing they will have to talk about themselves. For me I will continue to pray for them, and i feel much happier now that she has come clean to her husband.

Thankyou again everyone. I spent all last evening thinking about all everyone had said and then before I settled down for the night prayed to heavenly father about wether I should just tell her what I really think and feel and tell her I can not help in anyway in the abortion department. This morning I feel happy and peaceful again and I know what the Lord wants me to do (or not to do.) If she still wants the abortion after I speak with her, then that is her choice. However I am not going to make it easier for her to have it done, I just can't.

Right, well thats what I will do then. I will tell her the things above and hope that she understands that sometimes as a friend we can't cover the truth in cotton wool. This is not a "does my bum look big in this" situation. It's much worse and she needs some honest guidence. Thankyou all very much for the advice I don't think I can thank you enough.

I would hope she would tell me to have a bit more respect and ask me to be honest with myself and my husband no matter how hard it was. To tell the truth, get it all out. That even though he may not forgive me I should ask him to anyway. Then I would hope she would talk me into keeping the baby, that if I felt that I couldn't cope with a baby right now as well as 2 toddlers I have other options that are much better than abortion. The pregnancy may be tough, but I would gain more respect from her by not just "getting rid" of a mistake but dealing with it. That by having an abortion I am making another mistake. Then I would hope she would say that she will be here to listen to me and be a shoulder to cry on. Ask me that I will learn from this mistake and believe her when she tells me the law of chastity is there to protect me, that there is a good reason for living by this law. Could I say all that to her though without upsetting her more?

I do believe her husband needs to know the complete truth, she owes him that much. I don't think it will make much difference to him leaving her, but at least there wont be any lies to come out in the future. Do I tell her in a nice way that she has done a terrible thing that has ended with some even worse situations, and that she is the only person that can try to salvage somthing out of this mess? I have already told her she needs to be strong and pull her self together for her children and decide what she is going to do now. This isn't going to sound very nice, and may make me a bit of a nasty person and a not so good friend...but how could an affair ever end well? and then when it does all go bad, how can you expect people to be compasionate with you? thats what I am finding hard, she has spent the most of today crying and begging her husband not to leave her, telling him that she loves him and he is her world. Yet she was the one who did this evil thing, she made the choice to have relations with someone other than her husband and now she wants the sympathy because he can't bear to be with her anymore. The end of a marriage is sad I'm sure, but when she first told me about this other man, I told her don't go there, it will only end in disaster...and it has and she is struggling with the consequenses and I feel awful because although I hate what she has done and she knows it, but I can't be of any help to her apart from listening. Sorry if i am rambling, but i really don't feel good with this situation and don't know who to talk to.

I haven't tried as such to talk her out of it, I asked her if there was any chance that it could be her husbands baby, she said there was but it didn't matter because she isn't ready for another baby and she didn't want to take the risk of it not been his and him finding out! I was going to explain other options with her today like adoption, but it wasn't the right time as her husband has found out about the affair and is all set for ending their marriage...he still doesn't know there is a baby in this terrible situation as well...I did tell her to be completely honest with him though and tell him everything and then decide what she is going to do. I know there will be a lovely couple who could love this baby if she doesn't want to. I just don't know how to bring it up with her. Thankyou for your replies, my main concern now is her children I just pray that they will be ok and that my friend wont fall apart and be unable to be a propper mum, if you get me. Obviously I am so sorry for her husband and although I am loyal to my friend my sympathy is with him right now, he didn't see this comming or deserve it.

So I have been a member for almost 2 weeks now and I am been tested to my limits! heres the situation, i'd be greatful for any help and guidence. I have a friend who is a non member of the church and, well, she has done some pretty evil things that I can not condone. The first been sleeping with another man other than her husband...I thought that was bad enough, but then it turns out she is now pregnant. Then if it couldn't get any worse she wants to have an abortion, this is where is gets difficult for me. She knows I do not agree with abortion, but she still needs my support and friendship and I refuse to turn my back on her when she really needs a friend. I will listen to her, give her hugs and be a loyal friend, but the she asked me to go with her for the abortion! I told her that I didn't think that would be good for me, I don't know about you but that is almost like saying I agree with it and I'd feel like I was encouraging her. Then she asked if I could look after her two young children while she went for the abortion, again I don't know if thats the right thing to do? she needs my help, but it's help so she can abort a pregnancy...isn't that like asisting in it? If I look after her children then I make it easier for her to go through with it. I'm feeling really torn about it. I have prayed about it and the feelings I am getting from the spirit are not good...it's almost like it's telling me not to get involved, to stay out of it! But she is my best friend, then again, I have to look her husband in the face and know what she is doing! then when it is done, i have to know she has done it and pretend it never happend! isn't that like lying? Please help me. Also sorry for posting so many threads asking questions this past 2 weeks. Alicia

Thankyou all so much for your replies it helps a great deal. so the other options that are not in bold are things i can donate to seperately if I have the money spare?

Just a couple of questions regarding the tithing slips and how to fill them in. right, sorry if this is put in a confusing way but I really need help I have been shown by the missionaries how to fill it in vaguely...The top part is pretty easy. So when we get to the bit that says Tithing I write down how much I am giving, correct? and then next to fast offering I put in the amount I am giving, yes? Then the next bit is where I am confused...the list of things I can donate money to help with, is this again seperate from my tithings or is it where I want my tithings to go? for example if I pay my tithings every two weeks and my 10% of that 2 weeks is £40 I could break down the £40 and give £10 to say temple construction £10 to ward missionary and £20 to humanitarian aid...is that right or wrong? I am soooo confused and just want clarity. Also is paying my tithes 2 weekly ok? as this is when I get my income. Thanks Alicia. P.S forgive me if it takes a while to understand what I mean.