littleadventures

You have given me a great place to start! You are an answer to my prayers. Thank you!!!!

Those are all great points and they give me a lot to think about. Your words of advice are loving and make sense. It seems so simple when you say it but yet it seems so hard in reality. I pray I have the strength I need to stand tall and do what is right. The most difficult part is that he is using his health as the reason he is not able to get out of bed. I know he can work but others see him as the poor guy that is bed ridden and ill. I am the one abandoning him and leaving him alone. I am the bad guy! Thanks for your support, I really appreciate it!

You hit the manipulation right on the nail. My counselor says Ryan is the best manipulator he knows. We have also addressed the depression issues. He takes anti-depressants now. Unfortunately, he has made some choices in his life to be lazy and let the world serve him. I try to not let him manipulate me too much and let him coexist in my home so my kids can have easy access to him. I would have left him long ago but I believe that if anyone can help him change it is me. It requires a lot of tuff love and TONS of emotional stress on my part but at this point....until my kids are raised...I have to give it my all.

Hello Everyone. I joined yesterday and have already had an outpouring of love from many of the members on this site. I stumped across this website in the search engines as I was looking for a resource or support group to help me in my life right now. I loved how this site was geared around the gospel and was also very positive. To give everyone a brief background without boring you to death....I have been married for 16 years. I married young and got pregnant on my honeymoon (doctor and parents failed to educate me on how to properly avoid pregnancy). Pregnant and sicker than a dog, I worked hard to complete my Junior year at BYU. Within three months of being married my husband hurt his back and had to have surgery. He has suffered constant pain since the day he injured himself. Struggling to be happy in my marriage, I put all of my energy and love into my children. I always wanted to have a lot of kids so I continue to move forward and had more children. Seven years into my marriage and 4 kids later, I found out my husband was addicted to gambling. At the time I had been running a day care out of my home so I could remain home with my young children. Turns out he had lost gambling the exact dollar amount I had worked so hard to earn that year. I was heart broken that he could make me work so hard. I had no choice to stick with the marriage as I felt like my kids needed their Dad. He loves his children very much. My anger was diffused in a business idea I had. A good friend put a lot of faith in me and joined me in a business adventure. At the end of our first year of the business and while I was still running a day care, trying to catch up on things financially, I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant again. I have no idea how this one happened because I was being so careful. This pregnancy was the hardest of all of my pregnancies. Looking back I think it was because of the stresses I was having to carry. I was Young Women's President, Working full time running a day care out of my home, starting my own business and trying to raise 5 children of my own. Yikes! Fortunately my business took off and I was blessed to be able to quit the day care business. My business gave me a good escape from my marriage problems. About the time that my business was succeeding, my husband Ryan decided he could no longer work because his back pain was too great. Convenient huh??? Within 3 months of quitting work he was on so many over the counter pain pills that I was scared to death to even let him drive. One day everything came to a head when I found out he had been gambling online again. I immediately called the police and had him escorted to a Rehab Center in Southern Utah where he stayed for a month. While he was in Rehab, I had great hopes that he would change. He returned home with the desire to go back to work and to live life to its fullest. I thought I had found a miracle and that he had really changed. Well, it lasted for about a month. He now spends all day in bed watching TV and playing on his laptop. If he does get out of bed it is to go golfing (amazing he can golf but he can't sit through church or help with the dishes). I have had to cut all access to financial accounts from him. I have allowed him to stay because I don't want to hurt the kids. They love their Dad and he loves them. I discussed divorce with him recently and he attempted suicide as a result. I don't know how I would ever live with myself knowing I caused him to commit suicide. I don't think I could ever forgive myself. So, as you can see....I feel trapped, alone and discouraged. I love my children and want what is best for them but I also want what is best for me. I will make the best of it until the day I die if that is what it will take for me to make it to the Celestial Kingdom. However, aren't we suppose to have JOY in this life? Adam fell that men might be, Men are that they might have joy." I am just taking things one day at a time. My oldest is 16 and my youngest is 5. My children are beautiful and I love them very much. I pray every day that I will make the best decisions for me, for them and for their Dad.