brechelt

Hey, I came across your post during a search for a documentary I am researching for and thought I would try to offer some of my experience as food for thought. I joined the church when I was in high school, and I was also a 'flirt to convert' success story. A girl I was dating asked me to go to Seminary with her and I think I had the same initial experience as you did, you know, where it just felt right. I was baptized and faithful for about two years, but after joining the military, and not having a very supportive religious structure (moving a lot) it became difficult to 'fit in.' My family was supportive, however, but they were pretty far away. The inner feelings and emotions you are experiencing are the exact same ones I felt, I assume. I was engaged to a non member, and I also desired to go back, but the hard part was knowing that she did not share the same interest. Although I loved her and I wanted us to work, it didn't. There is a harsh truth about your situation that you know about, have been told about, but don't want to accept, and that is very difficult, so I do not blame you for any conflict you feel in your heart or mind. But, having been in the same situation, here is what I think will be the two outcomes you will find. 1) Your finance will have to support you 100% and join the church. There is no way you can grow a testimony of the Plan of Salvation without that happening in concert with your relationship. As your testimony grows, you will desire more of what Heavenly Father has set up for you, and if he resists that, you might be setting yourself up for some serious relationship problems down the road. 2) If you choose him over your testimony and desire to be involved with the church you will eventually lose that testimony. Remember the seen analogy... no water and it dies. Are you willing to lose that for him? These are 100% the words you don't want to hear, I know. But after your month, when he said he would support you, keep being a good example and you might be surprised. As for my story, I moved to Hawaii after breaking up with my finance and I met the woman who is my wife. We were married in the temple, and I wouldn't ask for anything else. You know already what is right, just find the courage to go through with it and I think Heavenly Father will be on your side. If he loves you, he will support you. Don't let anyone or anything tell you differently. Good luck, and if you're ever willing to share your story for a Documentary I am filming, I would love to hear more of it. I'm investigating these exact experiences, where people have strong testimonies but their circumstances offer resistance to be involved with the Church. I hope to bridge a gap between the surface level Mormon and the true testimony feeling Mormon, if that makes sense. I think you're the latter, but that's just from this post. T