In response to your question, #2, we shouldn't be too surprised that there was a judgement involved when we left pre-existence to come to the earth anymore than we should be surprised to learn that there is a judgment involved when we leave this world to enter the spirit world, and a judgment involved when we leave the spirit world to be resurrected and so on. However, the business of spirits "sitting on the fence" in pre-existence was addressed by Joseph Fielding Smith in his "Answers to Gospel Questions."
There were no "fence sitters in pre-existence." It's true that some were more valiant than others. so we shouldn't be surprised to learn that the more valiant received different callings (if I can be permitted to use that term) than others, just as the more valiant in this earth life will receive "different callings" in the eternal worlds.
As for question #3, the conflict at the end of the millenium will come about for the same reasons the Nephites and Lamanites fell from their righteous state after just a few hundred years. Joseph Field Smith (I believe) is the one who suggested the period of conflict after the thousand year millenium "might be" a thousand years, because Christ came in the "meridium of time (middle of)," which if taken literally would mean that there would have to be the same period of time forward as had passed before Christ was born -- namely, 4,000 years!
Your husband has obviously read a number of LDS works, because he's not that far off off target, only some of the details he's naming are not on target. For one thing it was not the color black, but the Negro race that weren't allowed the priesthood. Remember Joseph also learned line upon line. We have a bad habit of expecting our prophets to always speak "thus sayeth the Lord."
Sam
