momof2girls

I actually had depression before my kids were born, but it definitely got worse after my first (my 4 year old) was born. I agree with the mommy/daughter date every week. I think that is a great idea. Maybe I should find a babysitter for my youngest while my older daughter and I go do something fun or even just stay home and paint each others nails. Thanks! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Your words were just what I needed. Actually, it is kind of funny. I talked to my husband tonight. It started out bad because I blew up at him and told him how unhappy I was. He was shocked. He had no idea. Anyway, we were able to have a great discussion and he brought up the same scripture. I can't believe I didn't think that this was a weakness of mine and that The Lord gave it to me! That was just the insight I needed. Thank you!! I really appreciate what you have said too. You are right on the nose with how I am feeling. I would love to read those books. I will check out our Dollar Store and see if I can find that one. Thank you so much. Time away is something that I need, but I do feel like I get that. I am lucky to have neighbors and family who care and are willing to babysit if I really need it. Thank you for the suggestion. Again, thank you everyone for caring so much even though I don't know you and you don't know me. I wish that I could be more eloquent with my word like many of you are. I wish I could write or even say how I feel, but I am just not great at that. So, I hope you all understand how much I appreciate your advice and help. I feel like I am starting on the right path finally and can get past this. Thank you!

You are totally right in everything you say. I already know that. Maybe I am not being very clear. Actually, I know I am not being very clear. Like I said, I am confused myself. Anyway, I know that I am being selfish. I know that my daughter or my husband don't deserve the way I have been acting. I hate it! I WANT to change it. I wish it were as easy as telling myself that I am going to think better thoughts, but I am already trying that! I pray hard everyday asking for help and change. I honestly appreciate all your advice! You are all right about going down to my husband and spending time with him or at least asking for some time with him. I should at least start with that! One last thing I wanted to say and I know this is not an excuse, but I want to say it anyway. For years I felt like I was giving and giving all I had for my husband. I was putting in my 100% and more because I loved him and wanted the best for HIM, not me. I have always been the unselfish kind of person who gives all I have to everybody else. I guess I got tired of giving so much and not getting much back in return. It got so bad that I started to resent him and now have become selfish. I hate it. I hate myself. I feel like the worst wife, the worst mother, and the worst friend. I don't want to fall into depression again, but feel like I am on my way...

Thank you both for your advice. I truly appreciate it. I desperately want to change my feelings, but I honestly don't know how or where to begin. I guess doing to usual things that I should be doing like reading my scriptures and attending the temple more are a good start. Thank you...

I don't even know where to begin so this might be a little confusing, but I guess it will be good to get it off my chest too. I just introduced myself here today and I am sorry to be asking for advice already, but I really need it. I have been married for 8 years this May and have two beautiful daughters. I love my family very much, but my love for my husband is decreasing. I hate the feeling and I don't know how to get back on the right track. I feel a lot of frustration with him for many reasons, the most being that he works a lot and I am left home with my kids all day and night. It puts a big strain on our family because I feel like my kids are I are being neglected, but he can't do much about it. He has to work a lot of nights to provide for us. We don't have much either. It used to not bother me, but, adding to all my other problems, I have felt a lot of jealousy of my friends and family because of what they have that I don't. And not only for the "worldy" things, but for the relationship they have with their spouses and kids. Anyway, back on track a little. My husband and I don't do a lot together. At night he goes to his office in the basement to play games on the computer while I go upstairs to watch TV, work, or play on the internet. Then at 10pm or later he comes upstairs wanting to make love and I have NO interest. I do it just for him and I rarely enjoy it. During the day, he doesn't open doors for me, bring me cards or gifts, hold my hand, kiss me without wanting anything more, etc. It really bothers me that he only seems to want to be with me at bedtime. Okay, the list could go on. I don't know what to say next. My mind is a mess right now. I also am frustrated with my 4 year old daughter. I am really struggling with her lately and I have a hard time wanting to be with her. I raise my voice way too much during the day and I dont' want to at all. It is all my fault that she acts the way she does. I just don't know how to control her very well. I have had a lot of feelings lately of wanting to leave my family, mostly my husband. I dream of what my life would have been like if I had dated more before I was married. Maybe I would have married somebody better. I think a lot about ex-boyfriends and wish that I were with them even though I know I wouldn't be happy. I dream about being single again. I have thought about talking with my bishop, but I know he will suggest counseling. I have done the counseling thing before for depression and it helped, but I am scared to do it now because my husband would know how I feel. I have told him many of the things that bother me, but I have never told him that I want to leave sometimes. He would be devastated. I am scared to death to tell him... I am so sorry that this is so confusing. I am confused myself. Can anybody give me any advice about how to feel more love for my family? Thanks!

Thank you all for the warm welcome!

Hi. I am new here and am excited to have found a forum like this! I have so many things I would like to discuss, but I first wanted to introduce myself. I don't really want to give my name because there are private issues I want to discuss. Anyway, I live in Utah and have 2 little girls! Is there are section about marriage problems? I would like to ask a question, but dont' really know where to post it. Thanks!