winterstar
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Posts posted by winterstar
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Why should you research something you already have a testimony of? I think this is just your husband's attempt to confuse you over to his own side.
Just remember, when you married, you both had common interests, including the Church. He is the one changing here, not you. So, if he wants to remain married, you ought to have the right to require certain things of him: 1. that he not keep you from worshiping, or try to dissuade you from believing. 2. that he allow you to raise up your children in the faith, as you see fit. 3. that he remain faithful in your relationship.
I think if he cannot agree to those three things, it should be a deal breaker for marriage. Why? Because he is trying to change the rules after you entered a marriage covenant with him. He should not be allowed to change the most important things regarding you.
This is good advice. Recently married you have an expectation that the ideals, and commanilities you shared pre marriage should still exist. Where there are no children involved you really need to evaluate where you are in the relationship, and if when you do have children you are willing to stand up for the ideals you have wanted your whole life.
I do not know anything about you or your husband, but if he was raised in the church, is a returned missionary, got married in the temple, then just turning his back on the church is a BIG deal. It is not the same as switching between Coke and Pepsi. Because you are married his decision to move away from the church is not only his decision because it affects you and your life as well. You need to decide if you want to live with the consequences of his decisions.
These comments jumped out on me. I don't think there is a big difference between marrying a person raised in church who jumps ship, or a new convert who falters. But you really do need to bring the Lord into what ever decision you make regarding the marriage.
I do like the 3 requirements though. And going at it alone is hard, because the things you desire most (an eternal family) will be talked about at church.
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If he is struggling to keep covenants of baptism now already, marriage outside of the church isn't going to help him. It will make it even harder to go.Why would he lose all that if he re-marries outside his faith?
I'm not judging here, just thinking practically so I can get feedback from others who have been there.
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If you don't mind self published, an excellent author is Sara V. Zook. I've been lucky enough to talk with her about her work, and she doesn't put sex in her books. She also hasn't had any swearing that many YA books go.
I also try to blog book reviews, and I'm active on goodreads.
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I enjoy writing myself. Do you have a blog Lakumi?
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I'm a book collector (avid reader). I've lost many boxes of books to a flood (that I was storing at my parents house in the basement) when I went away for some schooling. I am back to collecting, years later, and have found many many ebooks.
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I am wondering, what, if anything, does the church say on a widow member marrying outside of the faith. I presume is the same as a single person - better not to. It frightens me that someone I know could lose out of a whole family -- late wife, child that died at the age of 5, and now multiple children and grandchildren he has in the eternities.
I'd just like to know of someone else has been there, and what counsels exist with in the church about it.
Thanks.
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Here's a support link you may like to check out: Hope and Healing – Pornography Addiction Education and Recovery | For those affected by pornography / sexual addiction (both addicts and loved ones)
The ladies there are wonderful, and it's LDS based.
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Thanks guys!
I think it will be fascinating in many ways to get to Heaven. So many things to learn.
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winterstar- Why do you still think it's not a good thing? By the way, I like your lds.net name. It's more creative than mine. :)
Well, in the case of my husband he would still be pulling smoke into his lungs.
And lungs are important to me. For one thing, my grandmother died of lung cancer. And secondly, I have two nieces with cystic fibrosis. And third... marijuana smells really bad to me, so he's going to stink. (It's one thing that makes holidays with his family hard, well besides the language. They all vanish and it gets really bad smelling. Add in, they smoke tobacco too.)
As for him using it for pain relief, that's between him and the Lord. I've had a long journey over the years coming to accept that. I voted to legalize medical marijuana in my state. (I think it should be totally legal, people have the right to choose and it bugs me they have lists of users. I think lists of growers and distributors is good enough at this point.)
PS. I like your username too. I love stars.
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Actually the scripture that Skippy provided is one I was going to provide as well. Sometimes we need to just use some common sense in situations. This to me is one of them. We don't have to be commanded or have scripture in all things.
I agree, but this person has lost his common sense as he struggles with the skeletons in his closet. I was seeking things that can help me point him in the right direction, with out being preachy.
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Thoughtful…people should, before they start dating, avoid the danger of entanglements and date only those who are of their own faith. All experienced counselors know that religious differences are among the root causes of incompatibility and unhappiness. by President Hugh B. Brown
Elder Bruce R. McConkie of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said, “The right person is someone for whom the natural and wholesome and normal affection that should exist does exist.” But he went on to add, “It is the person who is living so that he or she can go to the temple of God and make the covenants that we there make.”
“In choosing a companion, it is necessary to study … the one with whom you are contemplating making life’s journey. You see how necessary it is to look for the characteristics of honesty, of loyalty, of chastity, and of reverence.”
President David O. McKay
Date only those who have high standards and in whose company you can maintain your standards.” For the Strength of Youth, 24.
by President Gordon B. Hinckley:
Your chances for a happy and lasting marriage will be far greater if you will date those who are active and faithful in the Church. Such dating is most likely to lead to marriage in the House of the Lord.
by President Spencer W. Kimball
Clearly, right marriage begins with right dating. A person generally marries someone from among those with whom he associates… Therefore, this warning comes with great emphasis. Do not take the chance of dating nonmembers, or members who are untrained and faithless. [You] may say, "Oh, I do not intend to marry this person. It is just a 'fun' date." But one cannot afford to take a chance on falling in love with someone who may never accept the gospel. True, a small percentage have finally been baptized after marrying Church members. Some good women and some good men have joined the Church after the mixed marriage and have remained devout and active. We are proud of them and grateful for them. They are our blessed minority. Others who did not join the Church were still kind and considerate and cooperative and permitted the member spouse to worship and serve according to the Church patterns. But the majority did not join the Church and, as indicated earlier, friction, frustration and divorce marked a great many of their marriages.
Thank you.
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Here are some questions about the situation before finding an applicable quote:
1) Is the coworker a non-member?
2) Does she uphold church standards other than her living situation? (i.e. no drinking, smoking, and live the law of chastity)
3) What makes you think it's a common law marriage? Have they lived together for 7 years and hold themselves out as husband and wife?
4) Is your father looking for a temple marriage? Is he an active church member?
5) What are his intentions with her?
To answer these:
1. No, she is not. (She has a live in boyfriend to boot.)
2. Again, no, she has a live in boyfriend.
3. My state doesn't recognize Common Law Marriages, but I was going on that she is living with her boyfriend as if married. I figured if they are boyfriend and girlfriend who live together, chances are they are sexually intimate, therefore "common law" married for this discussion.
You could always point him to the church's dating standards which can be found in the For the Strength of Youth booklet. It speaks of dating only those with high moral standards and seeking a companion who is temple worthy. Pres. Uchtdorf said that booklet is "a gem for any age group." You can read that talk right here.
Thank you. I will check for a downloadable copy.
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That doesn't really answer my question, but thanks for the quote.
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For a bit of background, my father is a widow and very lonely. Twice now he's gone on a "date" (his word choice) with a co-worker of his at work, who has a live in boyfriend. I've told my dad he should avoid the appearance of cheating, she is after all in a "common law marriage" situation and to treat it as such. But I can't find anything.
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Could some one please direct to any information Church Leaders have stated on dating/going out with someone that has a live in boyfriend?
Thank you.
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I have asked about this as well. I was told by the priesthood president in my ward that IF it's prescribed by a doctor (in the case of medical marijuana) it is treated just like that, as medicine in the eyes of the church right now.
However, I personally still think it's not a good thing.
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I was discussing some topics with someone, and the idea came up that Jesus was the only sinless one in heaven of all of God's spirit children.
I haven't heard that before, but I do know he was the only one that was sinless on earth. (except I once heard Noah of the Ark was too.)
Any thoughts?
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How do you know if it's (emotional) abuse?
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Here's the link: Karl G Maeser Academy, Accredited LDS Online High School – Elementary
Now that I have that out of the way, I'd like to know if anybody has used their elementary school program.
Did you find it worth the price? How did the grading system work?
Thanks!
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The LDS church today teaches the virgin birth--are there members that still subscribe to the teachings of some of the former prophets that God the Father is the literal father of Jesus?
what's not "literal" about God being the Father through miraculous means?
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So I need to practice faith, in order to receive it? I'll not allow myself to fall into a trap, and let myself believe in something my emotions tell me should be. I would prefer to have all knowledge to what I am pledging myself, so that I may make informed decisions, instead of realizing only after I have committed myself that there were unintended promises, or decisions made.
Please understand, there is much I question about everything, not just the church and the faith of it's members. I am not trying to deny anything, but I need more than I have received.
Religion is a difficult thing for me to open up to, for a few reasons.
1. I have lived in the United States my entire life, and my parent's raised me attending the church. If you go to a store, you'll find many items with a cross on it, or spiritual post cards, or bibles. If you open your wallet, your money will say "In God We Trust" on it. Everywhere you look you'll find reference to a singular deity, an all knowing God. Our entire lives we have had the idea of a single God blasted upon us, and it causes me to wonder if that is the truth. I rarely take anything anybody says as truth unless I can verify it by other means, why would I do so with religion?
2. With religion, and especially in the LDS church, you are supposed to feel the spirit guiding you. You pray, and the spirit tells you. You're about to do something wrong, the spirit warns you. You need direction, the spirit guides you. NOBODY has ever told me, how exactly the spirit affects you. Is it a certain muscle in the stomach that lets you know you've been contacted? Is it, an overly devine voice in your head that is clearly not your own? Is it a shaking, trembling experience? What am I supposed to feel? If you tell me I will know when it happens, I'll not take that as a correct answer. The reason being, if you want anything enough, and the only way you'll know it's happened is by an unexpected emotion, or feeling, then you are going to get it no matter what. I'll not suddenly have a testimony because my stomach cramped while I was praying, or that I feel like I did something wrong when I sin.
3. History shows us how the masses have been swayed to do almost anything based solely upon religious command. What that tells me, is that people are easily convinced of anything, and most are incapable of original ideas, or clearly individual thinking.
I don't need a vocal response from God, I need an understanding however. If I need to find this, by learning everything ahead of time, how is that any less effective, or sincere than blindly following the word of another person?
There's a scripture that after the test of faith, you'll come to know. (Can anybody help with that one?)
How you feel the spirit prompting you is different from person to person, and event to event. It can be soo small that you might not know what it was.
History also shows how evil can teach the masses (by way of the children) and corrupt generations. (Think of Germany, and the rise of Hitler.)
It seems to me, that you want to find a reason to NOT believe.
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Does anyone receive a vocal response?
Yes. I know it has happened, and the person was allowed to share that he received his answer by visit of an angel, and a few things. But some things he was commanded to not share.
And you know what, but doing what he was counseled, a mighty miracle unfolded. And I am sure to this day, still unfolding.
This happened in my own family.
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i want to say, you CAN overcome it. You may need to give up the internet and any other means of "meeting" and playing at romance. Not even email.
Second, it sounds as if your husband makes you feel that tv time is more important then you.
If so, tell him.
question
in Marriage and Relationship Advice
Posted
I know I didn't. What I was seeking was if there was any guidelines for dating the second time other than what is taught to the youth.
Thank you to everybody that answered.