Sefton, it seems you are seeking something a bit unconventional. Assuming that you really do want to know, I can offer a few things to ponder, things that I learned after the witness I received over 30 years ago as a science-loving 19 year old.
Truth pertaining to God can also seem atypical to an individual’s understanding, but the methodology to discover it is quite simple and straightforward. And this is where so many stumble, unable to accept that something so profound can be acquired by such simple means.
The scriptures are full of declared truths by men of God, truths that seem to be just the opposite of what logic and experience suggest…
Love your enemies (Matt 5:44), born again (John 3:3), first shall be last (Matt 19:30), greatest is the least (D&C 50:26), exalted shall be humbled, humble shall be exalted. (Luke 14:11)…there are many more.
Why bring this up? Truth is often so unorthodox, so seemingly bizarre that it may be difficult, if not impossible to discover via logic and scientific process.
A modern prophet once offered the following, “Sometimes it’s necessary that we walk a while in the dark before we can see the light.”
So faith has a place, even among scientists. In fact, faith is so important, that it is central to God’s purpose that he protect and preserve our opportunity in mortality to learn about it, exercise it, have it become an attribute, a part of our character, of who we are. That’s the best explanation I can give to those who wonder why he won’t just show up and say, “Here I am, I really do exist.” To do so would cripple our opportunity to progress.
Faith is far more than just a feeling, mere wishful thinking. Faith is power. Faith is dynamic, not passive. It cannot exist without work, without action. (James 2) Faith enables us, empowers us to progress in truth, eventually to perfection and the knowledge of God and all truth. It is an attribute of God, and the means by which he made the worlds.
I certainly didn’t understand how important faith was at 19. I simply listened to the missionaries teach me about the plan of salvation, felt their sincerity and love, and on our second visit, the witness came. It was as unexpected as it was overwhelming. Then, as I continues in faith and with the anchor of that witness never far from my thoughts, I learned more and I continue learning.
I would encourage you to read Alma 32 and take time to think and ponder over what Alma says about faith. I would also encourage you to obtain a copy of the Lectures on Faith, by Joseph Smith and likewise read and ponder.
Don’t allow fear or your trust of your own arm of flesh. If you really want to know truth, you must yield your will to God and trust Him. He knows your heart and he will reveal himself to you when you are ready to receive it, when it is best for you.
Don’t dismiss the need for faith in the process. Most receive no witness until after the trial of faith. (See Ether 12:6) In the meantime, take courage and put your trust in Him. Stay the course and you will find the truth you seek.:)
