TheHop

Thanks for the vote of confidence, but porn addiction is not an issue for me Edit: After looking at the link I do not feel like it can help me to overcome cigarrettes. I didn't mean to sound uppity or snooty. I just feel like honestly, I don't have an addiction outside nicotene. Sure, there are lots of social pressures to drink, but I know that if i commit to not drinking, it will be easy to give up. I've done it before, for no good reason. I'm sure I can do it for the Lord.

I'm not sure I understand this. When he said 'Church', it was apparent that he meant 'Gospel'. Maybe I did not convey that. Or more likely, is that it's over my head.

I can't thank all of you enough. Having people to talk to and understand is irreplacable. I know that there will always be people who act... high and mighty. Elitists. There were many things that came together to make me leave. I can deal with the people here or there who may not understand the path my life has taken. And that's ok with me. I just can't handle an entire ward looking at me sideways and crossing the street as I pass. Last summer I made an attempt at coming back. Started going to church, and talking to a bishop. He was a really great guy, and a huge help. The reasoning he used, was that the church is perfect, but the people in it are not, so there are always going to be 'those' people. Anyway, the more I started going to church, the more started going wrong in my life. I was sitting on the fence. Parties on Friday and Saturday, church on Sunday. After a bad experience on Sunday, and a particularly bad set of choices at a party, I didn't feel like I belonged there, or even deserved to go. Looking back, I was just scared. In the end it was good. It answered the question I had about whether or not the church was true. I just didn't have what it took at the time. I'm convinced I do now.

Wow. I just want to thank everyone for all the support. I have a lot to say, but I'm on my way out the door to work. Hopefully I'll be able to access this page from there. Thanks again.

Number's no good.. I believe it's a digit short. I got some Korean lady recording.

I won't lie, that made me tear up. This whole thing has had me on the brink. But what I worry about is that I've already been baptised. I've blown my shot at being sin free. I would give anything to be baptized again, to have that fresh start. I tried to go back to church when I was stationed in Idaho, but I couldn't bring myself to take the sacrament. I didn't feel worthy.

I looked to the chaplain, but they didn't have a list of LDS services. I dunno, I don't know if anyone will understand, but I'm rather embarrassed to show my face in church. I don't feel like anyone will understand.

Is that true? Am I required to tell them what happened while I was inactive? I don't think I could do that. I've done so much that I am ashamed of, and that I'd never like to talk about. I've asked forgiveness from the Lord, and that was hard enough. I can't imagine having to tell a bishop face to face.

Therein lies the rub. I'm In South Korea right now, and I work most every Sunday. I have no idea how to get in contact with the right people. I've stopped partying for the most part, and I want so badly to have some LDS people to hang out with... This sucks.

Well, long story short.. Raised and baptised LDS. Stopped going at about the age of 15 due to some conflicts with some 'Holier than thou' ward members. Never really lost my faith, though, no matter how hard I may have tried to bury it. Fast forward to today, I'm 24, in the military, heavily tattoed, etc etc... I feel like I'll never be welcome in the church again. Also, I don't know how to steer away from the lifestyle i'm currently in. It feels like a trap. I'm so far away from any members and i'm in desperate need of moral support. I also think about all the things I've done, and I'm afraid I may be excommunicated if I go back. I want to go back, though. I know it's the right thing to do. It isn't that I don't WANT to throw all these bad habits to the wind, I guess it's that I'm a weak person, and need someone there to help me. I know I want to marry a strongly religious LDS woman. But I'm pretty sure none would have me, what with the tattoos and all. (that being said, I don't regret a single one of them.. they all represent a different stage in my life.) I guess my final point here is, I'm lost. I feel like every day that I'm not trying to get back to the church, a piece of me dies, and I don't know if I'll get it back. Does anyone have any advice?