PEON

You could answer 42 if you wanted... But that just leads to me having to find out what the question is. Now that I think of it... That's probably what I need to do anyway. Figure out what my question really is and then focus on finding the answer. Yeah....... I know.......... everybody has already told me what the question is Sometimes I just like to vent. Thanks for letting me do it!

My wife has been a member of the church all of her life. She was the one that introduced me to the church. We were married before my conversion was complete. I have since had some difficulties with my faith in the church, but that's not because of our marriage. It's because my foundation was weak to begin with. My mother in law is a member of the church, and my father in law has never been a member. Their marriage has been strong for over 40 years, and their children were raised in the church. While my wife's sister became inactive, my wife did not. My advice to you is to make sure your marriage is founded on love, trust and understanding. Make sure that the man you marry is a good person and will support you even if he doesn't believe what you believe. My sister in law is inactive because her marriage is with a non member that is unsupportive. His disbelief and lack of support pulled her away. My mother in law is active because her husband was supportive and even helped in making sure the kids were always going to church (even if he didn't) and were raised with the right attitude towards God. In the end... My father in law is still not a member, but he has found Christ at another church and I credit my mother in law with inspiring him to do so. He will go to church with her occasionally, and will even help the LDS membership in setting up / tearing down at events, etc... Were she not a God fearing woman, he would have become something else entirely. One other thing. If he decides that he wants to become involved with the church, make sure he KNOWS what he is doing. Don't let him do it because of you. Yet don't let him be ignorant of the churches teachings. If he is supportive of you, he will let you talk to him about it because it is a part of your life.

Interesting perspective on some of my problems. I am a convert to the church but my wife is not. Her ex-husband was also a member and they were sealed in the temple. Later on in their marriage he became abusive and their civil marriage ended in divorce. He is now inactive, spiteful and extremely selfish. He has stated that he doesn't want the temple marriage dissolved and we haven't been able to work that one out with the authorities. So... Perhaps every time I hear about the temple it makes me sick on some level because of this. However that's not the only thing. Sometimes I hear something from an outsider about Joseph Smith treasure hunting, or the mountain meadows massacre, or the black guy that Joseph Smith gave the priesthood to before they weren't allowed to have the priesthood and my immediate reaction is "That's not true, why are you making up lies?" Then I will do research and find out that even though the church refutes the spin that the anti crown puts on these things, a great many of them are true, and they are never talked about. One isolated issue isn't a huge problem for me, but lots of them are. Someone posted (here or topix, can't remember) that the church doesn't focus on the past but only on the present and future. I for one happen to hold the Bible as not only scripture, but as historical text. It tells us things that happened in the past, warns us about reacting in the wrong way, and teaches us a different way of doing things. We learn about things that our spiritual leaders and prophet's have done wrong. Abraham not taking God's word about a son and trying to find another way himself, Christ saying if there was any way to take the cup from Him, The denial of Christ after his arrest, etc... There are no positive spins on the information, there are just facts and proof that God's plan is the right plan. Every dispensation covered under the scriptures shows Truth and Error openly... Yet under this dispensation the church doesn't do it. I absolutely despise that fact. If we don't know our past then we are doomed to repeat it. If the churches take on the mountain meadows massacre is correct then it wasn't the leadership that was at fault, it was some of the membership... and yet the membership at large is never taught about this tragedy and the lessons that were learned from it. Sure many know it happend, but not everyone... It's a part of church history that isn't taught. When you put all of this together, my perceptions that have been built from personal experience, coupled with what I call "political history" then yes... my faith in the church itself is shaken. I know the argument that if Joseph Smith is a prophet then the rest must be true. Now I am faced with the exact oppisite argument though... If all of this stuff is wrong then how could Joseph Smith have been a prophet and how could the Church be led by Christ? Even if you remove my personal perceptions from the argument (which is hard for me to do since they are MY perceptions) you are still left with some things that just don't make sence to me.

Thanks, I find it interesting that your reply settled with me so sincerely. If I am reading correctly, you are not a man of faith, yet your answer speaks volumes about the faith that I need (and have lost). To be clear, you haven't given me a miraculous answer to life, the universe and everything (42 :}) but your perspective might be a little of what I needed. It seems that those with faith have such a strong testimony of their faith, that they often forget (or never knew) how those without it see the world. Often, the "Here it is, Take it or leave it" approach is seen as very harsh and a bit uppity. I know that isn't the intent, and that their answers come from the heart, but it still feels cold in a way. I have never understood that either - Faith should, by definition, equal love and compassion. Understanding and a desire to help those that are lost, and yet for people like me it feels more like "dusting the sand from their feet" than "sitting down with the tax collectors" My questions are not answered. I have a LOOOOOONG way to go, but I wanted to say thank you for your sensere response to someone that really needed a kind word and a road sign. Odd that it should come from the Athiest, but then again, God works in mysterious ways.

Yeah... I know, but if you read my other posts you would know I'm kinda tired of all that. The church seems to idolize the man. YES - what he did was EXTREMELY important, and it laid the foundation for what we have... BUT what we have is far more important that Joseph Smith. So... we keep shouting Joseph Smith to show what he did, and by doing so that's all we talk about. Anyway, thanks for all the responses. I'll check back tomorrow. Z

I know that what people say here, there, wherever is coming from the heart. I know that everyone that told that woman to worry about her immortal soul instead of worrying about her future husband was saying what they thought was true. That's what scares me... If that is what the church teaches... Really teaches, Love unconditionally until it gets hard, then just worry about yourself... I can't see it as being right. You have to realize that to someone like me (and many others that are in my position) that sort of response sounds rude and arrogant. Why not try to help the man that is still having doubts instead of saying leave him and find someone else? It's like me. I want to do what's right, but I don't know what that is. I have prayed, read scriptures, tried going to church (that was a bust) and nothing seems to point me in the right direction. The first response I get when I'm asking for help... Well... If you don't believe _____ then it doesn't really matter does it Every time I talk to a "Mormon" from somewhere outside of my geographic area, I seem to get arrogance and feel belittled. Every time I talk to a "Mormon" from my geographic area, I seem to get compassion with no structure or foundation. How am I supposed to feel?

Thanks, That was just the kind of uplifting response that I was hoping for.

Ok. In order to save time and writing space, I will just put a link to the first few posts that I have made on the Topix LDS forum. TOPIX POST Now that you have had an hour or two to read through all of my ranting and raving, hopefully you will have a good idea of where my mind is right now. The fact that I am asking questions means that not all is lost, but I truly believe (as the title of this post suggests) that I am on my way out. When I first became involved in the church, I felt wonderful about it. I was on cloud 9 and no matter what came my way I was still happy. I would say that the Church was responsible for that except for the fact that I became quite dissatisfied and dissapointed with the church while I was still there. I have read some of the posts here about people with tough choices and situations in their lives, and I get the same gut wrenching feeling when I read the replies that I do when i'm in church I'm going to get married, but my future husband doesn't want to come back to church LEAVE THE BUM AND WORRY ABOUT YOUR SOUL, DON'T CONCERN YOURSELF WITH HIS I'm confused and I don't know what to do. This teaching doesn't seem right. This part of church isn't helping me GO TO THE TEMPLE AND WALK AROUND A-BIT, THINK ABOUT THE TRUTH THAT HAS BEEN RESTORED BY JOSEPH SMITH So.... I will probably feel the same response when I read the replies to this thread. I am lost, but the way my mind is working right now I can't help but honestly feel fine with that. With the questions and issues that I have about the way the church is, I'm not sure I want to be there, AND i'm not sure I don't want to be there either. Now it's your turn. In 50 words or less give me THE answer, to life, the universe and everything. I already know the answer isn't 42 and the "temple" and "joseph smith" stuff isn't going to get me either. Thanks, Z

Hello all. I just wanted to introduce myself and say I am glad to be a part of the board. I am a 33 y/o member of the Bluefield VA ward. I am inactive, unhappy and pretty much fed up with alot of stuff. I hope to have open discussions with the members here, and I hope that the non-members will leave me be (sure they will) for the time being. I know the anti stuff, and I don't want to hear it... I'll probably be dishing some on my own anyway. I want to hear answers to some of my questions from the mormons here, new and old. Thanks for listening to my rants in advance, and I hope for some helpful and enlightening discussions. Thanks, Z P.S.: Not sure if it's allowed (didn't really read the whole rules thing... do most people?) but if you want to know a little about what my mindset is right now you can go HERE.