tizzyk

Everyone feels overwhelmed at times. I have learned to not worry about what I can't do, but always strive to do the best I can in everything. That is all the Lord requires...for you to do your best, and he'll take care of the rest. That was a hard lesson for me to learn because I too was driving myself crazy trying to figure out how I could do everything. (I literally got panic attacks because I was so stressed out). But really, just each day do your best, and always strive to do right. Now...please do not be discouraged by what other people do. Everyone has trails and everyone has problems, NO ONE IS PERFECT. So....the people who judge others because they feel they are doing better than them, or doing more than them...they are not as saintly as they believe themselves to be. Judge not lest ye be judged. SO...try not to compare because even if others seem like they are perfect...they aren't because it is impossible to be. God will judge us by our actions alone not by others actions or by others standards. As far as scripture reading goes...try to read something each day...even if it's just a few verses, every little bit counts. But if you can do more, than do more. Like I said, do the best you can, and always strive to do better. And pray always. Form a close relationship with the Lord and he will guide you to what He wants you to do. It will become easier to be balanced as you gain a relationship with Him. He will bless you for your efforts and eventually it'll become easier to prioritize and know what is most important in a day. . Chances are you are doing just fine. Don't worry about "not making it" because you can't do everything all the time...or because you can't make every church activity and doing everything precisely right. Just do the best you can. The Lord loves you and He knows your heart...you will be judged in the last days accordingly.

Thanks guys....I'll do just that....prepare and see where life (and the Lord) takes me . thanks for all your comments.

well that sucks. Well I talked to my bishop and the last week he said that there is a time limit...and it would be "a while"...and he emphasized "a while"...so I really didn't know what that meant...if that meant like a year...or several years...or what? .......but if it is the case where a divorced person...who has no children....and no other responsibilities....would be denied the chance to go on a mission just because she happened to be married at one time, ....why on earth would that be? What is the reason? I mean it's not that I'm too old to go on a mission. I am only 22. In fact if I never got married in the first place, I would have no troubles going on a mission. So why is that because I was married and divorced that I can't go on a mission? ..... am I being punished for being married, or punished for getting a divorce? ....it doesn't seem very fair.....if I didn't do anything wrong, if I didn't break any kind of religious rule...if I am a righteous young women who does her best to always strive to do what is right...and if I really have a desire to serve...why should I be denied going on a mission simply because I have been divorced??? It doesn't seem right. :'(

Hi...I don't know if anyone has had a similar situation to this...but I thought maybe someone would know. Okay...I've been divorced now for a couple of months. My husband just woke up one day and decided to leave me and the church. Imagine my surprise.... But anyway....I really feel like I want to go on a mission. I understand there is some sort of waiting period that one has to wait after being divorced before you can go on a mission...but I was wondering if anyone knew how long that was, or even why that was? Well anyway I wasn't planning on going for another year and a half...but I really want to go...sometime. I plan on talking to the bishop and asking him about it....but I was just wondering if any of you had anything that would be helpful for me...has anyone gone through this before? Also...I know that it costs like 7000 dollars to go on a mission...or something like that...does the church help with that at all...or do you have to find all the money somehow yourself. I was planning on saving as much as I could...but I can't seem to get a job with this economy. So I'm not sure how much I can save. But I really have a desire to serve. I don't know if it will work out for me though...I suppose I will settle for going on splits with the sister missionaries or something if I have to. But anyway, any advice, anyone could give me that would be great. Especially if someone went through what I've gone through before....perhaps you could tell me how long it took before you were allowed to go on a mission. I don't know...let me know. .

Anyway. Thank you all for posting. I have come to the conclusion that there will never really be a definitive answer. Our personal salvation is individually earned. There is always hope and I am just going to take it one step at a time. My husband and I will need to work through our problems and hopefully one day my husband will come around either in this life or the next. It's not my place to say one way or the other whether he will be with me when we die....but I can strive to do what is right and have faith that the Lord will take care of me and give me what I need ...and I know he won't take any blessings away from me if I am diligent and genuinely do my best at following His counsel. I pray that the Lord can give me strength to endure to the end and return to Him. That is all I need to worry about right now. I need to do what I can, do my best, and repent when I fall short. I cannot be accountable for anyone else...and in the end the only person I can decide for is myself. Everyone has their free agency. I can only pray for others and hope things turn out for the best. I do not need to know for sure what will happen if this happens, or that happens.....I simply need to have faith and work on my own weaknesses as I strive to follow the Lord. Thanks again everyone for your encouraging words and thoughts on the matter. You have all been great. :)

..... it seems to me that "and altogether turneth therefrom" is simply another reference to blasphemy of the Holy Ghost which is where a person knows of a surety that it is true but turns away from it and denies it. Because if my husband were simply to leave the church because he didn't receive a "full surety" of the truth of the gospel....then he is not committing that forgiveless sin otherwise he would be screwed anyway because there is no forgiveness for it "in this world or the world to come." So if he doesn't truly believe in the priesthood or the gospel and he leaves that is not the same as knowing for a surety that it is all true and still leaving and denying it's truth. Right? I don't know what do you guys think?

General discussion is anything even LDS doctrine discussion...but you are right I probably didn't put it in the right place, I just didn't think about it. Second, if he knows who we are, and what we will do...why does he tell us to marry someone who will end up abusive....or rather, why does he send a message to us that the marriage is right if the spouse is just going to be abusive, or leave the church and leave you, or cheat, or etc. If he knows both spouses and He gives both spouses a confirmation that they should be together...why would He do this if he knows that it will just end with one spouse doing horrible things to the other and leaving? This is just one example....but you get the idea.

just_A_guy....that is a interesting way to look at it. Personally, the fact that men can have more than one wife, doesn't in itself bother me persay...but what gets at me is that women cannot have more than one man....not that I would want it or anything I'm just wondering why there is a gap in rights between man and woman and why in God's perfection....he should "create" a gap between man and woman. It's always kind of bugged me, but I don't usually think too much on the matter. If anyone has any insight for me...that would be appreciated. And annamaureen....I hope you can find your peace. I think how Just_A_Guy said it, is a good way to look at it, and it may in some way, bring the comfort that you are looking for, if you choose to think of it in that way. Best of luck to you.

So....it's entirely possible (if your interpretation is correct) that my husband will still be able to be with me in the afterlife even though he leaves the church and denies that the church is true....and as long as he doesn't murder anyone or (blasphemy against the HG) then he can repent in the afterlife and then join me? ........ and ......then what is the requirements of getting into the highest degree of the celestial kingdom where we have increase and become like Gods....if my husband is able to repent in the afterlife and join me will we be able to enter into that kingdom, or will we be stuck in a lower level of the celestial kingdom? Will we still be able to progress? If my husband comes to believe whole heartily that the LDS religion is a cult and not God's true religion, but lives a relatively good life without serious sins....does he get to join me in the celestial kingdom after going through the repentence process in spirit prison? And I wasn't the people who had to suffer their sins as if there were no atonement were those who committed murder or committed blasphemy against the HG?

Ok...so I have a question about how the Lord see's what we are going to do before we do it. He gives us blessings and he promises blessings according to our righteousness...and for example in our patriarchal blessing.....there are promises of callings and blessings we will recieve. So........if he knows us and he knows what we are going to do...doesn't he also know if we are not going to follow Him and therefor lose our promised blessings? Or is it more like...He see's all the different possibilities of what we do (kind of like alternate realities or parallel universes where different decisions we make causes different consequences/blessings depending on what we chose....). So he see's both senarios a) we allow Him and in the end (or throughout life) we receive the promised blessings....or b) we do not follow Him and we lose those blessings, and we lose the opportunities, etc. And since he sees the different scenario's he obviously wants us to achieve the best scenario (we return to him and receive of His fullness)...and so throughout our life he tries to help us make the right decisions (but in the end it is our free agency that dictates what we do). He is then very pleased when we choose right because then we are able to receive of the blessings that he has promised, and He is saddened when we do not choose the right. Otherwise....why would He tell us that we will receive certain blessings or we would do certain things (fulfill certain callings etc), if He knew we were just going to fall away and lose our opportunity to receive those blessings anyway? And if He can see the different outcomes depending on our different choices does He know the choice we are most likely to make and so (if it is the wrong one) he still tries to give you every opportunity to repent and come back and receive the blessings? Or is it more like He sees the outcomes but He doesn't necessarily KNOW which choice we'll make until we actually make it...so he gives us incentives and tries to keep us on the right path....and provides a way for us to repent and come back if we choose the wrong thing? I don't know...this is just an weird concept to me and I was wondering if anyone had any ideas on the subject that might help me understand it more. Thanks!

I'm not sure I understand this verse real well....so....this sounds like we will go through repentance process in spirit prision and then get exalted after the day of redemption. I'm a little confused. Also...I thought that our exaltation was dependent on our repentance. I thought that of course we are not perfect and we won't be in this life, but if we continually strive to do righteous and follow the Lord and repent and we do the best we can the Lord will take care of the rest and we will receive exaltation. If, for example, my husband gives up on the church completely and never returns to it in this life...will he have a chance to repent in the next life and obtain the highest degree of the celestial kingdom (as long as I have done the same) and we have increase and become like Gods....or does he lose out and I be given to another as I progress (if I am worthy of such exaltation)?? I'm still confused. puf_the_magic_dragon I really appreciate your help in finding these sources...I plan on studying them...you are a big help...if you can help me understand too that would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!!!

Guys...please if you need to discuss references start a new thread or something. Foreverafter...of course I want my husband with me no matter what...but everything I find seems to point to the fact that I will lose him if he refuses to keep his covenants. Like I said...God will sort things out He is almighty and He can do anything. I just don't know what will truly happen and that frightens me. But I have faith in the Lord...and I have hope. So thank you for your encouraging words and I hope you are right...but more I hope and pray that my husband will find his answers and strive to uphold his covenants...and then it won't matter if you are right or not because then we will both be striving for exaltation, and we will both obtain it depending on our diligence and faithfulness. Again...please stop arguing about references here...thank you.

it would seem that foreverafter is not correct...besides that it doesn't make sense (although in my case I almost wish it were true).... Here is a quote from "Celestial Marriage" by Bruce R McConkie: "In a manner of speaking we have, here and now, probationary families, even though we have been married in the temple, because our marriage in the temple is conditional. It is conditioned upon our subsequent compliance with the laws, the terms, the conditions of the covenant that we then make. And so when I get married in the temple, I am put in a position where I can strive and labor and learn to love my wife with the perfection that must exist if I am going to have a fulness of the glory that attends this covenant in eternity, and it puts her in a position to learn to love me in the same way. It puts both of us in a position to bring up our children in light and truth and to school and prepare them to be members of an eternal family unit, and it puts us as children of our parents in a position where we honor our parents and do what is necessary to have these eternal ties go from one generation to the next and the next. Eventually there will be a great patriarchal chain of exalted beings from Adam to the last man, with any links left out being individuals who are not qualified and worthy to inherit, possess, and receive along the indicated line." (LDS.org - New Era Article - Celestial Marriage June 1978 ). So as I had thought, our temple marriage is dependent on our righteousness. If my husband does not fulfill his covenants and I still fulfill mine....I will receive of exaltation but my husband will not....so the sealing will be effectively broken in the afterlife. He will go to whatever degree of heaven he is assigned to and I will go to mine....

puf_the_magic_dragon ... Wow...thank you...you don't have to lose sleep over this though...it's not your problem. But I appreciate whatever you kind find. I'll search too.

I'm not sure that make sense to me. If he loses his exaltation and is with me for eternity...but only as a ministering angel....how would we progress in the eternities? Aren't you suppose to be able to, if you make it to the celestial kingdom, progress and become perfect and receive of exaltation...and become Gods of our own worlds...etc. ??? If one of the spouses loses their exaltation.... how would you be able to do that? The husband and wife are suppose to become like one right? How would the do that if one has exaltation and one doesn't? Also.....for those people who had abusive spouses or spouses that left them for another person....etc etc....if the sealing truly could never be broken wouldn't they be stuck with an abusive, cheating, etc spouse for all eternity? It would seem to be counterproductive.....and also if a spouse can be lifted up by your righteousness then someone who committed a horrible sin (and whom never repented from it) could still end up in the celestial kingdom if you made it there. It doesn't seem to make sense to me. I know that in the end...God will sort things out....and every individual is different and only He can judge. I guess I'll just have to hope and pray and leave the rest to Him. I just hope that my husband doesn't decide to leave and give up....there's not much I can do if he decides to leave.

Thank you lilered. I plan on doing just that. I know that if I let it...this could cause me to fall short and give up. But I am a fighter...and the Lord and His promised blessings to me if I am righteous is far too important to me for me to give it up. I know the following years to come will be difficult and I know my husband has his own agency...but I will never give up on him or our marriage...I only hope that he will do the same. Thank you for your reassuring words. I will not lose out if I am faithful. What will pain me is...if my husband will lose his blessings. I love him so much and I want him to have eternal happiness...I pray that he will obtain it. Only time will tell. And don't worry...I plan to make every prayer/fast/temple session I attend have a purpose which is to pray and fast for my husband and that he may find his answers and have his heart softened....and that we will have the strength to endure to the end and recieve of eternal hapiness. Thank you again.

puf_the_magic_dragon I again thank you. I will try your suggestion.

Misshalfway....please do not mistake my fears of losing my husband in the afterlife for my judging my husband. I do not judge him, I do not blame him for his pain, I am not angry with him. I love him. I do not plan on giving up on him, or abandoning him. And I have not been attacking his right to question...I in fact told him to go ahead and question.... I know too well that some mormons are quite judgmental and not tolerant of outside thinking. My rant on this forum was simply my way of sorting out my own feelings...and gaining perspective from others. That being said, I thank you for your words, and your concern. And that website sounds worth checking out...so I will do so. I would hope that my actions do not confirm his fears....but please understand that the things I have said on this forum, I have not said to him....and like I said they were merely to help me sort my own feelings out without freaking out on my husband. I have made it clear to him that I want to work through our differences and our problems. We are going to do marriage counseling and this is not because of his lost faith but our communication problems and other problems that we have. We set up the appointment before he ever told me about his lost faith. And even if we were both strong in the church, as of right now....we would still be having problems...and that is what I was hoping to work through with marriage counseling.

Congrats!!! And I don't think you are a bad mother....different children are different...as you are finding out with the differences between your 2yr-old and your 4.5-yr old. I don't have children of my own, but I can only imagine. And there's nothing wrong with being overjoyed with the little things (or the big things ). You go missingsomething! ...btw what are you missing?

Rameumptom...thank you so much for your thoughts. Yes...we just begun to have that conversation about kids. He's not sure how it will work out...and he's not sure if we will have kids. He is not a fan of a split household with children....he doesn't want it to affect the children. I asked him if he would allow me to take the children to church....and he said "as long as I get to teach them my religion to"...I asked what that meant and he told me that he would teach them how to be a christian and how to study from just the bible. It's a very sticky situation...one that I had not wanted to get into. I never wanted to marry a non-member...and I thought I hadn't. But, he is the man I chose, and I will stay by his side and pray and hope that one day he will come back to the church. I really hope it doesn't have to come to a split religion familiy with kids. I know how confusing and hard it will be. I also asked him about whether or not he would still read the scriptures and pray with me and the children. He said only if we were reading the bible. I also asked about family home evening...and he said no at first because it is a mormon thing...but then he said he would do it if we only study from the bible and we don't use talks from the mormon prophets or read from the Book of Mormon or anything like that. This has really been a blow to me...and I pray that it will work out...because the church is such a big part of my life and it saddens me that I can't share that with the one I love. Like I said, hopefully he comes around...it just sucks that it had to be this way. But don't worry...if anything I will not turn away from the Lord or his church. ....If anything this will make me more diligent in my faithfulness as I immerse myself in spiritual things...every fast and every prayer, every temple session...I will go with my thoughts of my husband and my personal prayer that he will find the truth.

missingsomething....Yes I know that movie. My husband and I have watched it. It's a good concept. Let me assure you though...if anyone leaves this marriage it will not likely be me. I plan on sticking through this and doing everything I can. He said though that he might leave if he can't reconcile. I'm hoping that it doesn't come to that...I'm hoping that he doesn't give up on the marriage....because I don't plan on it.

Hey puf_the_magic_dragon. Yes, we're in Portland Oregon. Thanks for your thought though....I'm sure that the counselors here are perfectly fine...and like you said it depends on if he wants to change. He does seem to want to try...he said he'd try to work things through with me and to find his answers. He has agreed to go to church on his days off, and he's agreed to talk to the missionaries again and ask questions. He says that he doubts he'll be able to reconcile his problems with the church, but maybe...I'm a little afraid that he will just go through the motions and not really open his mind/heart to the Lord or the church...but again that's where faith and hope on my part comes in. Hopefully he finds his answers.

puf_the_magic_dragon ... Thank you very much for your perspective and thoughts. I really wish you could talk to my husband! And you are right...he is lost in himself and I am unsure how to help him. I am going to ask my bishop for help paying for marriage counseling....maybe that will help us.

Lilered....Thank you for your words. I plan on getting a meeting with the bishop. Now, you did quote a talk on divorce...and I have read this talk before, and I do not plan on giving up on my husband any time soon. My fear is just that I would lose him anyway in the afterlife if he never returns to the church or if he leaves and dies before he can come back to the church. There are no children...we have only been married a year and a half. So do I live my life with him and hope he comes back only to lose him? I know that this is merely the beginning stages and I plan on doing everything I can to make things work. And for now there is hope, and as long as I have hope I guess I'll keep trying. But what if it isn't enough? The talk you quoted speaks of praying together, and diligently seeking the Lord together....What if he refuses to do that? What if he becomes so bitter against the Lord that he refuses any thing spiritual?

I am having problems right now with my husband. I married my husband in the temple. I was born in the church and he is a convert. We have known each other for about 11 years now...I dated him for a year, and we have been married for about a year and a half. When he was first baptized and through getting married to me, he was excited about the religion and I really feel he had a testimony. But sometime after we were married something changed in him. He has not had the best life, his parents are alcoholics and he was beaten by his stepdad as he was growing up. He was very poor as he was growing up and often times they did not have enough food and he would not be able to eat for long periods of time. Winter was the worst because there was no berries or apples to pick from trees/bushes to eat. He basically raised his younger brother and sister. All his life he has always given to others, always helping others, but he never learned to help himself. He never likes to accept help in anything, and doesn't feel right when he does. Now I think after all those years of sacrificing his own needs and wants for others' sake, he has become overwhelmed by it all. He has now become very bitter toward everything. He is bitter and angry toward the Lord, and toward his lot in life. He always tells me how he has had such a different life than I have and so he sees things through different eyes. He now tells me that he does not believe in the church and that Mormons just blindly follow and never question their religion and are just molded from birth to believe and never question. And, according to him...even the questions that us mormons do ask...it is only the questions that "they" tell us to ask, and we only find the answers that "they" tell us to find. He says that he "just can't bite" on this religion. He has become so bitter that he has lost all faith, and I fear that he has such a closed heart that the Lord can't get through to him. I mean, if he in his heart is sure the answer is "no"...how can the Lord ever let him know that the answer is "yes"? He also says that all this is his opinion and his opinions are inmoveable. (Which I really don't understand because somehow his "opinion" that the church was true...somehow was "moved" or changed to his "opinion" that the church is not true). He is considering being excommunicated because he says that he did not really understand what he was getting into, and that if he knew then what he knows now he would have never joined the church. He says he does not believe in the church and that he never will. Now, what do I do with that? He was worthy and he had a testimony when he married me. I got married in the temple, I wanted, and still do want, an eternal marriage...but if he leaves the church doesn't that effectively delete our celestial marriage? I mean if he does not fulfill his covenants, but I do everything I can to fulfill mine...do we stay sealed and in the eternity he'll come around....or will I go through life with him, only to lose him in death and be given another? I didn't choose a civil marriage...but will I be forced to only have my husband for life and then marry some stranger in the afterlife? What can I do if he get's excommunicated and never comes back to the church? What can I do if the bitterness and anger consumes him to the point that he just can't be around me anymore? Am I now destined to live a life of constant heartache as I strive to live righteously and my husband slowly slips away from me....but I can never get a divorce with him because I am sealed to him...and yet I will lose him in the afterlife??? I just really don't know what to do...can someone PLEASE help me?