SwordofLaban

See my previous post for similar sentiments. Ah, what the hey I'll just quote it here: Also here's another thought: Let me be clear I am LDS and love and promote the Church with all my heart, but if someone has problems with Brigham Young (but not Joseph Smith or the Book of Mormon persay) then they should check out the other Mormon-based faiths (Community of Christ, Church of Christ [Temple Lot], The Church of Jesus Christ [Monongehela], etc) that didn't follow Young's leadership after Joseph's death. I originally had some problems swallowing what Brigham Young was saying and thought that maybe one of these other "Mormon Denominations" had it right. However, after personally investigating each my testimony of Brigham Young only grew!

Let us look at the context of the time in order to understand the ban. The ban on African-Americans holding the Priesthood occurred during a time in American history where the nation was very-much so divided on the issue of race. What would you have the Lord do, allow African-Americans to be ordained and have the Church face even swifter persecution then they had already been combating? My point in the matter is simply this: With polygamy, claims of continual revelation, new scriptures coming forth, and a large base of members that generally follow the counsel of their leaders the Church was all but damned from mainstream American society (and may I point out it still is in some regards yet today). Now would you expect a loving Heavenly Father to needlessly cause further persecutions to come upon his people by empowering a group of people in spite of the customs and practices of the American government at the time? I do not believe the Lord would do that. I believe, personally, that the ban is based primarily on two things: A) The Articles of Faith (based on the fact that we are to be loyal subjects to our government and its laws; and while ordaining African Americans would not necessarily be illegal, it would even further exacerbate the fires of revolution and internal conflict in our nation). B ) 1 Nephi 4: 13 ...It is better that one man should perish than that a nation should dwindle and perish in unbelief. Simply interpreted, it was better in the long run to not ordain African-Americans at that time than it would've been to ordain them due to the tremendous repercussions felt. That's my take on it anyways. If we really wanted to we could find fault in how Heavenly Father only covenanted with the Jews for many years before he opened up His arms to the Gentiles. But we never do that, now do we?

Another update for everyone here. Today my ex-fiance and I officially parted ways. After having both prayed for a confirmation, and having both received such, we mutually decided that it was for the best to end our romantic relationship. We both expressed that we felt good about the decision. I will report to the MTC January 2012, after I graduate college in December 2011. Thanks everyone, once again, for their support and insights.

Follow-Up: Hello, everyone! I just wanted to give y'all a quick update on my situation. I am going on a Mission. I will leave a year from today, to allow me to get my education and finances in order. Going on a mission is something that I've always wanted to do, ever since I was baptised a few years ago. I cannot wait! As far as my engagement situation...the wedding has been officially cancelled. Right now, until we get our financial situation figured out, we are somewhere between "engaged" and "single." This will be cleared up after we have figured out how to deal with our newly-signed lease and other things we need to get in order. I feel it is better to get this items in order before we discuss just exactly what our relationship will be moving forward, to avoid bitterness and further problems. Thank you, everyone, for your input and counsel.

Thank you. I will fast, ponder, and pray about this these next few days and will definitely let everyone here know what happens. I am very much appreciative for the counsel I have been given here. EDIT DUE TO FOLLOW-UP: I have discussed going on a mission with my fiance and she says she supports me 100%. We are meeting with our Bishop this weekend and will talk this, as well as everything else, over. I do believe that this is the route I am going to take. On another note, after talking with her I've picked up on that she does not want the tenor of the relationship between her and her parents to change. Since the wedding is almost guaranteed to be off anyways, due to my mission, I will continue to monitor the situation carefully and ultimately probably end up letting her go if such a mindset is still present as time goes on. It is certainly not healthy! I know for many of you my reactions might seem harsh, however, I want a life centered on the Gospel and I do not know how that will happen if she is so dependent on the direction of her non-member (and Church-hostile) family members.

Important insight shared by ryanh and mormonmusic. Truly, thank you. The notion that my Bishop wants to remain "neutral" in a sense is also a very accurate depiction. However, he was the individual that brought up the notion of serving a mission and how that may effect things. Heck, the whole premise that I am seeking help from strangers on an internet forum is very telling of my level of confidence in our current relationship. When it comes down to it, I am going to have to make the hard choice and accept it. Oh, the burdens of adulthood! I thank everyone for the support they have been giving me thus far, it is truly much appreciated.

Thanks, once again, everyone for their input. I have a lot to think about and pray about. Does anyone think that her willingness to seek out counseling does anything to change the result? I mean...it is good that she is wanting to do that but is it too little too late?

I apologize for the double post, and the long quote, but I just read your insights, mormonmusic, and appreciate your honesty. I greatly value those that are willing to not pull any punches. More brutally honest feedback is accepted and appreciated. The truth is always the best...as brutal as it may be. Granted, I do not know if I will go this route yet...as it is very painful...

Thank you everyone for your continual insights... This obviously is a hard task to deal with that will take a rather considerable amount of time. I do not think she will wait for me if I go on a mission (since didn't wait for her ex who went on a mission) and do now know how feasible that is for me to do right now. Excluding mission costs (which my Bishop has told me members of our Ward would contribute) my fiance and I just signed a year lease for the apartment we were planning on sharing in a few weeks...I am also a college student. If we do not get married I definitely do want to serve on a mission...but do not know how feasible that is. I just don't want to be setting myself up for failure either way.

We have completed premarital counseling. This issue was addressed...however it obviously hasn't been resolved.

Thank you everyone for your responses thus far. I have fasted and pray about this often. In fact, the great comfort I am given by the Spirit is the only real thing that is sustaining me right now. My fiance does not want to move away, due to her parental attachments, nor do I think that would solve anything. She needs to "move away" in a sense from the mindset and the scenario of abuse that is occuring...but I do not think that deals much with geography. She needs to come and recognize the system of abuse that she has been brought up in, and reject it. This most likely would fully entail her drawing those boundaries with her parents and telling them like it is. I can confidently say, though, that she is unwilling to do that at this time. I am in agreeance with most of what has been stated here. However, I am a firm believer that the Atonement can do anything. Right now I am considering postponing the marriage to allow more time for her to address these underlying issues...during which I could possibly serve a mission. More feedback, however, is greatly encouraged and appreciated.

Brothers and Sisters I am getting married in a few weeks...and I am terrified. My fiance and I are set to be sealed together in the Temple in about 3 weeks. However, both of us are miserable. Now don't get me wrong, we aren't miserable with each other per say, but my deteriorating relationship with her parents (and her emotional, and decision-making dependance on her parents) are causing us great problems. You see, she comes from a part-member family (her dad being very open about his disapproval of the Church) and her mother is inactive. Of course, we have been getting backlash from her parents about the Temple...but it goes farther then that. Her father thinks that the Church and I are trying to control every aspect of her life...and has go so far as to tell me that he is not happy that I am entering into his family. I am worried about our relationship. My fiance still seeks out her parents' approval for virtually everything, in fact I feel that in many ways she puts her parents' input over mine when we make decisions in regards to our marriage. Going further, she seems to always express to them and seek comfort from them when we have disagreements; which in turn creates even more resentment of me by them. I am worried what this means for our future family. Are these red flags that I should heed? I am currently seeking advice from our Bishop but would like to her from others as well. I do not feel like I can talk to many people about this...I have been told by my fiance's father that I am not to talk to her about this because it will only upset her and that if I upset her I will be visited by him in the middle of the night. However, I have talked to her about this but we haven't come to any real conclusion. Any advice would be appreciated. I am completely miserable right now.

Remember growing up the standards your parents set for you (ex: get good grades, be active, involved, etc..) Like our earthly parents, our Heavenly Parents have standards that we must live up to as well. I know, for me at least, having this mindset helps with my covenants and my commitments. Its all about being worthy of our Heavenly Lineage. Listening to scriptures in your car on your way to work/school, praying always whenever you need anything or have recognized Heavenly Father influence in your life. Doing those two things along will increase your testimony tenfold, I personally guarantee it. If your feeling really ambitious one day, drive out to the country-get into nature- find a spot and spend a day reading scriptures and praying about them. Also, ask yourself, "What about our doctrine really interests me?" For myself, it happens to be The Book of Abraham and The Pearl of Great Price. Find a gospel subject that genuinely grabs your attention and study it. It doesn't have to be everyday, and you don't have to really compile any papers or anything. Just do a google search, visit a bookstore, or engage in discussions about it with other members or missionaries. Need some good LDS topics to study or look into? Some of my favorites include: Intelligences, Adam-Ondi-Ahman, Joseph's Martyrdom and the Succession Crisis, John Taylor's years in hiding, Nahom, Joseph's Seer Stones, and Orrin Porter Rockwell. Best of luck!

One of the great things about the LDS Church is that we can teach you all we want but we leave you with the saying, "but don't take our word for it, find out for yourself." If you come to God with a humble heart, and a willingness to learn he will never steer you astray. As a Christian if you believe that Heavenly Father listens to and answers your prayers, then pray to Him about The Church and the Gospel until you get your answer. The Missionaries are just a tool to help get you "up to speed," the real evidence and answers lie within your own heart and Heavenly Father. :)

Hello everyone! My name is Curt and I've been a member of the Church for a year and a half now (will be 2 years on April 6th). I'm from Northern Minnesota where the Church is rather small but very active, sadly not many YSA here though. A little bit about my past: I was raised Roman Catholic but attended a Pentecostal Church for much of my teen years. One day when I was perusing my local library I saw a copy of The Book of Mormon and decided to read it. During this period seemingly everything I did/saw/heard/or watched had something to do with the LDS. I quickly gained a testimony of The Church and the rest is history! Right now I'm in school working toward my Bachelor's Degree in teaching Social Studies. I have a strong testimony of The Church, The Latter-day Prophets, and our Open Canon. I'm just trying to lead a good honest life and live up to the standards our Heavenly Parents set for us. :) Hope we can have some great discussions!