sibeluver03

Thank you all very, very much for all of the wonderful advice. I know that this choice is between the the Lord, my husband, and myself. There are times though that I feel absolute certainty that the right time is now. But there are other times when I feel doubtful, like when I begin thinking about reality and how hard it may be to raise a child on two college students' incomes. But once again, I do thank you all very much for all of your kind words. Aphrodite and Shanstress70: I am pleased that you remembered me and my previous posts. Yes, I did have a few problems as does every other marriage on this earth. Hmm, racing in his car. Yes, that has been resolved. I am not sure if I mentioned it in my post about that or not, but he ended up with a ticket that cost us $250 and his driving record a 90 probation. The probation was just one that stated that if he didn't get into any more trouble in 90 days, that ticket would not go on his record. I really do believe that solved our problems because he is scared to death to race that car now for fear of getting into trouble. That 90 days is up now, but if he does it again and gets into trouble, the court won't be so easy on him. That problem is in the clouds now. As for his listening to distasteful music, we have also come to an agreement on that issue. He came to realize that his music was distructive and unpure, (for us anyways). I came to realize that he is my loving husband and he is not perfect. I came to realize that I cannot make him to anything; he has to do it himself and that it is my job to let him know how I feel but to love and support him no matter what he decided to do. He found some hard rock Christian music that I even like a little bit. It is almost exactly like his previous music, just with words of worship instead of anger and sex. So in answer to your question, Aphrodite, yes, I do think he is really ready to be a father. He has shown me and we have learned together that if we work on our marriage problems together, we will find a solution that works for both of us. Marriages are not perfect and will never be perfect. But we strive to be perfect for each other. =)

Hello everyone, I am 20 years old and my wonderful eternal husband is 19. We have been married for 1 year and 3 months. We are both full time college students and will be moving from Oklahoma to Rexburg, Idaho to attend BYU-I in January. I am looking for advice from anyone who knows anything about starting a family. For the past 6 or 7 months, both my husband and I have been having strong feelings of love towards any baby or infant child we see. We've always thought babies and children were cute, but never had really discussed having any of our own. But we now both just have this sudden urge to begin our family. A few personal examples that have happened to me since feeling intense maternal feelings are: I am on birth control pills. I missed one day by forgetting to take my daily pill. When it came time for my period, I was a day late. Then when I found out I was not pregnant and had gotten my period, I cried in the bathroom. I don't know why I thought missing one day could possibly result in a baby, but I was secretly hoping. I have had two different dreams. Might I add that in my patriarchal blessing, I was told that I would have sons. So in my dreams, both of them, I saw the same three boys. One was about 7, the other about 3 or 4, and the third was a new baby. In one dream, the two older ones were playing in the bathtub with boats and other toys while I was changing the baby's diaper. In the second dream, I was playing with a baby boy when two older boys came running in from playing outside. Both of these dreams were within the last 6 or 7 months. This week, I am substituting at a daycare owned by a family I go to Church with. I just help keep the children clean and mostly take care of the younger children that are still in diapers. I now consider myself pretty good at changing diapers and am not afraid of doing something wrong. In just these past couple of days I have spent with these children, I have developed a great love for them and will miss them all very much when it is time for me to go back home to my regular job. Last week, a girl friend of mine had a baby shower. I had so much fun looking at all her new baby stuff that got me feeling that maternal feeling strong. I thought when I got back from the baby shower that I was just feeling "baby fever" like every other girl does. If it is "baby fever" I've been feeling it for a very long time. I am now expecting my period in a couple of weeks with a possible chance of being pregnant again. (I don't mean to forget pills, but when I do I don't freak out about it at all, I just think that if it is finally time, that's that.) I almost dread that week because I'm sure I'll get my period. But right now I'm really hoping this is it and that I won't see my period for another 9 months. Now comes the reality part. I do know that babies are not all fun and games. They are 24/7 and will be with me for the rest of my life and even eternity. My husband and I are just college students and so therefore certainly do not have the financial stability to support a baby, but we do have a wonderful family who are very supportive of us. We also are not currently insured as far as maternity goes, but plan to be soon, just in case. Even through all the cons, all I can think about are the pros of having a baby! And all I can think about is remembing an article a couple years ago from I don't know who. I believe it was in the Ensign, though. In that article, it was about a young couple getting advice from their bishop about school and starting a family of their own. The bishop simply told them to not prolong their wait to have children; to have babies now and then. If it was the Lord's will, He would provide a way for them to care for their new child. I just don't know what to do. Am I being totally ignorant to all the hardwork and financial problems that come with having a new baby? I really believe that Heavenly Father sent me those dreams. I really believe those were my sons, telling me it was almost time to meet them here on Earth. I just don't know if the Lord is telling me it is time or if I'm just being selfish. I know and understand this is really a choice between the Lord, my husband, and myself, but if any of you could possibly give me any helpful advice, I would really appreciate it. Thank you for any advice and thanks for taking the time to read this really long post! -Tara- -Hopeful Future Mom-

My husband loves music. He listens to all kinds of music, from classical piano to country to heavy metal. His favorite band is Metallica. Well, a few months ago I overheard some of the songs he was listening to. They were full of curse words and dirty language. I confronted him about the music and explained that I didn't agree with him listening to such bad music and that if I had any chance of feeling the Spirit while that music was playing, it would be very low. He agreed to get rid of all his CDs that didn't agree with what we believe in if I agreed to let him download Limewire, an MP3 downloading program. That way he could hand pick songs that were okay for him to listen to. I agreed. We downloaded the program and I thought all was well. Last night, I was waiting in our car for him and the sterio was on. This horrible and disgusting song came on that told of things unsayable. I immediately turned it off and confronted him about it. He got very defensive and just simply changed the CD. I told him he should throw the CD away. He said no. We ended up going to bed angry at each other last night (not a good idea, I know...). Then today, he is at work and I just got off the phone with him. He asked me why I had such a problem with him and his music and I again tried to explain why. It's not like he's never heard of music being something that Satan can be very involved in before; he's been a member of the Church for over 1 year and had been going to church with me for a couple of years before his baptism. He claims that he doesn't really listen to the words. He just enjoys the bass of these songs. I find that hard to believe. We can't tune out the words of songs completely, somehow they'll always be imprinted into our minds and saved for later. In fact, I know that I have caught myself singing a song with dirty words and then was ashamed to realize what I was singing. Another thing is that he claims that there is no other music that he likes. He's "tried" looking into Christian groups or other groups that are known for their clean music. Nothing works for him. He says the only music he likes is what he has and is music that I don't agree with. He is sure sounding like a hopeless case. And I know that it is not my place to tell him that he has no right to his temple recommend because that puts me in the same position. My job is to help him find better music that invites the Spirit. But he is not acting like he even wants to try. I even tried to get him to imagine having our Primary class of 5 year olds with him in the car. I reminded him that little children like that repeat everything they hear. I asked him if he would be willing to play that kind of music knowing the kids would repeat it to their parents or friends. He said he understood the question but still doesn't seem to get rid of that awful music. What can I do? I'll try looking up talks on the subject of music, maybe that will help... Thanks in advance for any advice you might be able to offer.