dexter

I did not mean to imply that my sons health issues were related, it was more to explain why I havent been able to handle all of this in a reasonable manner. I do not think that our God responds to our every action, I dont believe that my son or my family for that matter is being "punished" for one persons sins. I am angry, but not all at God, myself included, a lot of it comes from the idea that "you will never be given more than you can handle" and lately I have felt I have more to deal with that what I have to tools to handle. I know there are people out there that have it worse than me, much worse, but that doesnt change the fact that I am beyond overwhelmed with all that has happened.

The past year went from the highest of highs to lowest of lows, I began 2010 with the determination to resolve the unresolved and just change my life. I began taking those steps, went to my bishop, even returned to temple. During that time we noticed our youngest son had a "twitch", and while trying to discover the causes of his twitch my husband confessed to being addicted to porn and masturbation which had gone on since before I met him and most of our marriage, he did tell me it wasnt a "daily" thing but a "binge" thing, there would be times where he would "abstain" and times where it was somewhat frequent. I was shocked, there were moments in the past where I was suspicious that something was going on, when I would ask him he would deny it and I just took his word. A couple months after his "confession" he messed up a few times, when I asked him how things were going his response didnt feel right, so I asked him again and got another denial, within a couple hours I asked again and got another denial which turned into an admission. I was hurt at the dishonesty, and even though he eventually told the truth, I still didnt trust his word. Shortly after that incident our youngest son's twitch was diagnosed as a brain tumor which would require surgery. Prior to the surgery and afterwards my husband kept telling me that as long as we keep doing "the right thing" our son will be watched over, and just a couple days after the surgery he messed up again. I was staying at the hospital when he told me, which was the same day, and due to all the stress, emotions of the surgery I wasnt in a good place to deal with the information, I was very upset. I stayed with my son for the entire month he was at the hospital, and during that time my husband and I really didnt spend any time together just the two of us, and he says that during the rest of the time nothing happened but I struggle to believe that. When we got home the hospital, life was clearly different and life just generally became more difficult. During this time I have became inactive, even became angry with Heavenly Father at points, and I really have lost hope in my husband and have a tough time believing him or even listening to advice he has. We have attended counseling and havent returned since our sons surgery. I dont know what to do, we have reached the point of separation or divorce because neither of us are happy, he is unhappy that I dont trust him and I am unhappy also because I dont trust him. I dont want a divorce I think their are better options out there, if anyone has any advice I would be very grateful, this is clearly just my side of the story but I really dont know his side so I cannot comment on that.

My personal bottom came in the form of my husband saying "get help or move out and lose everything", I loved my family too much to lose it all, so I got help. I'm not sure that approach will work with her, she seems to have created her own little world where reality doesnt apply, by that I mean that she thinks her husband is having an affair, and that all her friends are "out to get her". From the research I have done on her drug of choice, that behaviour fits. She has to hit bottom quick before she kills herself or one of her children. It is agonizing to see someone go so far that logic doesnt even make sense to her, it is so sad. I believe the only viable option left at this point is getting the police involved.

I am sorry to be asking for more advice, I was hoping to have suggested advice to someone before needing more. Here is the scoop: I have a friend who has been using drugs off and on since about 2003, I have known about her ocassional use for some time, she gets prescriptions from her doctor as well as rummaging through peoples medicine cabinets. I personally know how miserable addiction can be, and how one can be in total denial while in the midst of it, but even when I was in denial, I still knew that I had some sort of problem, even though I justified it as a small issue. In the past 24 hours her husband has found out that she has been getting a prescription for her son and it appears she has been taking the pills, as the child states that he hasn't taken any medicine. When we have asked her about what medications she is taking, she only tells me she is taking antidepressants and melatonin for sleep. I have tried telling her my story, and still she admits to nothing. When she is taking the pills, she takes massive amounts and stays awake for days, and then crashes and sleeps for close to a week. During that sleep time she doesnt take care of her children, often leaving it to her husband who works full time or neighbors. Our primary concern at this point is mainly for the children, no child deserves to find their mom dead from an overdose, and the amount of pills and mixture of pills she is taking it is simply a matter of time until she does OD. I want to help this family out, they have been a huge part of our lives for about a decade and have helped me through horrible times, and I have seen her downward spiral for years. I really dont know what to do at this point, they have met with their bishop, and he suggested counseling, and she has manipulated the counselor, bishop and has tried many times to manipulate me, but as they said in rehab "you cant con a con" so I can usually see through her "stories". We were planning an intervention, but she has manipulated most of her family and people she knows that almost no one was available. Her family seriously enable her behavior, she gets pills from them. Aside from the intervention we have just tried to have heart to heart talks with her, and have gotten no where. Sorry for the rambling, we could really use any suggestions any one may have.

I just joined a couple days ago, already posted some in another section on the forum and I am very thankful I have found this site. Here is a little info on me, I am married, 3 children (all boys), and 3 dogs. I am a very creative person, that is where I spend most of my time, when I am not doing that I am usually listening to music, reading or watching a movie, that is if I am home. I am the happiest outdoors, I love camping, fishing, hiking, and most sports. I met my husband in high school, we were neighbors. I was baptized my junior year, and my husband was there, that is something I find really special. We were married in temple just after we graduated high school. I hope to get to know some of the people on here, and maybe some of my life experiences can help someone needing it.