Your story sounds like I could wright it for my life. I read comments intently and they have given me some hope. I am heartbroken though, and you don't sound heartbroken. How have you gotten over that? I know you were at one point. It has been 14 yrs of this for me and my husband tries so hard too. It is just that every few years there is one incident and it shakes my faith so much. I feel like I can't breath. Where do I even start?