Growing up, I have always had it in my head that it's crucial to marry an RM. I come from a family of all RMs as well as parents who served as mission president (and wife). I went on this mission with them as well. So naturally, missionary work is a big deal in my family. I know that there are great and wonderful things a mission teaches and can do for a young man, as well as a marriage.
Recently, I've been dating a young man who chose not to serve a mission. He has become very important in my life, and it is becoming hard to imagine him not being in my life. He wasn't necessarily the strongest member in his high school days, and his testimony wasn't a burning one at that point in time. He comes from a strong LDS family, and naturally felt a lot of the social pressure young men in the LDS church face to serve a mission. Instead of serving a mission, he felt that there was a different path for him, and served honorably for four years in the U.S. Army, spending over a year in Iraq. While here, he learned many of the same things a young man learns on a mission--discipline, leadership, trust, faith, friendship, accomplishing and finishing something difficult, and love. He has changed my mind that being an RM is a crucial part of a happy, eternal marriage. This man treats me with more respect than many of the RMs I have dated. He is a worthy priesthood holder, strong leader, and has a testimony in the gospel. The military strengthened his testimony, helping him to rely on God and see the importance of his hand in life.
Though he didn't serve a mission, I think it would be un-Christian to judge him for how he was in high school. He spend his time doing something very honorable, and was an example to many, having many opportunities to share the gospel in the military by his example. He stuck to the standards of the church that he'd been taught.
The qualities he has and his level of respect for me are more important than a title. We are encouraged to seek a mate who has the same goals and seeks temple marriage, and being an RM isn't what should determine this. Though a very great and wonderful thing, sometimes some people have to take other paths to figure out what they want and who they are.
I feel that my parents have issues with me falling in love with someone who isn't an RM, but I strongly feel that there are more important factors to consider when choosing a spouse. They don't come out and blatantly say it, but I feel like it's just something they have expected for so long and missionary work is such a big part of their life that it's hard to imagine me not with someone who has experienced that. Now I'm feeling some of the social pressure put on young women to marry an RM. I love my parents and respect their opinion, but why should someone who is a wonderful, worthy person now be kept from having a strong LDS girl in his life just because he didn't serve a mission? They are good people, so I think they will come around because he makes me happy. But am I wrong in my thinking? I firmly believe that sometimes, you just have to follow your heart, despite what others may think.
-ttrunning
