jinger

Hi, I was having a bad day today. So I started looking at these forums to feel like someone understood my feelings. And...there you were! Thank you. I feel SO the same. My husband cheated on me for 8 years ish. I didn't find out till we'd been married 10 years w/3 kids. It was as though my husband died. My whole life died. I grieved for that so hard. It was truly devastating. If there were no children it would be a no brainer. Divorce immediately. Problem is the innocent children who created none of this. Fast forward 3 years since I found out. We've spent thousands on therapy, separated, ex comm, re baptism, restoration of blessings.....blah blah blah. He's repentant. Did all he could blah blah...BUT I am now with a person I don't trust or respect. I'm not interested in physical intimacy but engage in it anyway because I want to stay married. I think that he thinks we're all good.....but I feel left in the emotional dust. We are great at parenting, money management, and even have fun together and laugh etc. It's like we're awesome business partners...when it goes into the emotional/intimacy realm...I just feel it's so unfair to me because he messed it all up. I want my children emotionally healthy and spiritually strong. This would be much harder in 2 differnet households. I don't want my kids dealing with step mom, step bro sisters etc. I feel like I SHOULD stay and hold it together and be the conduit for everyone to be emotionally strong....problem is...I feel emotionally neglected. I dont' know what to do with that feeling. Sometimes I'm mad. Sometimes I'm sad and sometimes I just don't care. I appreciated hearing your story and others too. It's nice to know I'm not alone. And for those who have not been through this....you have no idea.