My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years. We've been living apart for a few months due to school. He recently became addicted to Xanax...and was abusing other prescription drugs... He has an addictive personality and this isn't the first time this has happened. He had two heart attacks a few months ago, and I thought it brought us closer...but after he moved away I started feeling differently. Basically I am/was ready for a divorce.
However...
A few days ago I participated in an act of infidelity. Of course at the time I didn't think it was a big deal. Not sure where my head was. It felt like I wasn't even married, that it didn't matter, etc...etc... (He is married too) I decided to just not tell him...EVER. And maybe get a divorce. Really not sure...
I just don't know what to do. I'm terrified that since he's already a little imbalanced that he'll do something to hurt me or himself if I tell him. My head is still not completely clear...I just don't know what to do. I need some advice. Part of me wants to keep it secret forever and have it be my burden to bear. The other part wants to tell him now and work through it through counseling. The other part just wants a divorce.
Thanks for any advice you can offer. I feel like I'm going crazy or something. I'm only 25 and feel like I'm having a midlife crisis...we don't even have any kids or anything either...UGH!
