frustrated

This post may cause a bit of controversy, but I hope to not offend anyone, so please know I'm not trying to personally attack anyone. With that said, I need to vent some of my frustration about all the "Health Zealots" out there, and for some reason there seems to be a lot of them within the LDS culture. When I say "health zealots", I talking about those that seem to go well beyond the word of wisdom and go to the fringes of beliefs about health. I feel that everyone can have their own beliefs about what is means to be healthy, but I get frustrated when it seems they are pushing their fringe beliefs on others. Frankly, I'm tired of hearing about how Xango juice, Noni juice, Melaleuca or some other herbal supplement just miraculously changed someone's life by curing their cancer, or making them 20 years younger. I'm tired of hearing how cooking food is evil and that people should only eat raw food. I'm tired of hearing that you should only buy organic foods because it's somehow free of all the contaminants that are ruining our minds and bodies. I'm tired of hearing about how antibiotics are evil and should be avoided at all costs. I'm tired of hearing that you shouldn't immunize your kids, because they can cause autism. I'm tired of hearing about alternative medical practices like acupressure, aromatherapy, live blood analysis, chakra tuning, crystal therapy, etc. Personally I think these people look "beyond the mark" in many things. I understand that modern medical science doesn't have all the answers, yet it baffles me why so many people are willing to just dismiss everything in favor for a lot of these "unproven remedies". Unfortunately my wife has been one that is listening to these voices and has dramatically changed her views from the conventional to the fringe way of thinking. And of course, she's trying to "convert me" to this unconventional way of thinking too, and wanting to practice it with the kids (including not taking the kids to the doctor for strep throat). It wouldn't be so bad if it was just Aunt Martha or a neighbor at church that was pushing these views, but when it's your spouse it creates a problem, and it is starting to form a rift in our marriage. Anyway I'm not completely sure what to do. Thoughts anyone?

Thanks everyone for your opinions and help. We resolved the situation yesterday (mostly). We had my son write a written appology before he got the XBox back. My wife also acknowleged that she was wrong to say what she did in front of our son. My wife and I have lots to work on in terms of coming together on parenting, but this is a good start. Thanks again.

True. I totally agree on that. I wish my wife would agree on that. At times she does agree on that, but other times she makes the excuse "but it involves them so they should be a part of the discussion" (It irks me when that happens). When we put the rules together we did write down some consequences for certain infractions (ones that happen often), but it rarely seems to get enforced. I think she understands (at least on a logical level) that there needs to be consequences, but she doesn't always follow through on them (I'm not perfect at it either). It sometimes seems she fears she'll be damaging her relationship with the kids if she has to dish out a consequence. It's almost as if she wants to be her kids friend instead of a parent.

You're right there is more to the story. I could write a book on everything that has happened to bring us to this point that, but I'll try to give a little history. Some of these issues stem from issues between my wife and I. We don't see eye to eye on parenting issues all the time. She has a better relationship with our kids than I. I tend to be more stern and willing to hold the line on boundaries, however my wife is more loving/empathetic but not as willing to hold the line on boundaries. We been in and out of counseling for around 7 years (sometimes successfully and sometimes not). I subscribe to the love and logic approach (though I'm not perfect at it). I'm working on the love/empathy part more, and my wife is working on the logic/discipline part. So in short our parenting has been a bit hit and miss due to our conflicts. Our son is very good at manipulating mom to get what he wants (and I often feel powerless to do anything because he now has mom on his side). He is an opportunist and somewhat hedonistic. He's also rather spoiled in my opinion. He has a thirst for violent games (M fare) and horror movies (much to my chagrin). I think he feels justified in making jabs at Dad, because mom does too. He feels that the family rules are too constricting. He calls them my rules even though my wife and I put them together (some of them with the kids input too). That's where the Hitler comment came in. The rules are not overly strict (I know families in our ward that are far more strict). I feel he is just trying get his way and sees me as an obsticle that he has to "mow down". He was warned that he was "out of line" and it wasn't okay, but he kept at it. He was even warned by his mom that it wasn't okay also (which doesn't always happen). I made the decision to remove XBox privledges. It wasn't a joint decision (which I know wasn't the best) but I let my wife know about it so that she wasn't going to be blind sighted. We tried jointly implementing consequences before and often it ends up being no consequence at all. I wanted some action this time (more than just talking to him). I get really frustrated that boundaries aren't being held (enforced) much in my home. I'm always the bad guy for "holding the line".

I've got one challenging Teen (15 years old) who was being disrespectful to me (their father) this past weekend. He was commenting on my behavior in sarcastic mean tones. He was name calling and also comparing me to Hilter. I was biting my tongue most of this time. It was several incidents where he was going off on me and not just one. Long story short, I removed his XBox privileges for a day (probably more since he continued to make digs at me during FHE tonight). Do you guys think that was an appropriate consequence? My wife doesn't think so. She even mentioned that she didn't think that was appropriate to do. She did this in front of our teen (but that a whole other can of worms). Just wanted to get some other perspectives, to see if I'm being overly strict, not strict enough, or if there's something more appropriate for dealing with extremely mouthy kids.