kate86

Yes, that is more along the lines of what I mean. Although...it has been 9 months since i've been to church, and just before I stopped going we were meeting every other week and i've not heard form him in these last 9 months...I imagine its just him being incredibly busy though.

My bishop already knows everything, so its not a matter of if/when he finds out. He doesn't care. And we don't live together all the time, we just stay together a few nights a month when visiting.

I don't understand what you mean?

Not every American is Christian. It is honorable to dedicate yourself to the Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ...but to dedicate millions to your cause without acknowledging their own beliefs would not be the Lord's way.

I certainly don't have any room to talk, but from my understanding...no. It is not possible to fully repent if you don't follow the outline the Lord has given us. Theory doesn't work in reality, thats why it is called theory. For sins of a sexual nature we are required to confess to a "judge in israel" i.e. your bishop. You can hold off and wait until later down the road, but every time you partake of the sacrament or exercise the priesthood it will be with the knowledge that you are doing it dishonestly....and somewhere there is a scripture talking about "drinking damnation to your soul" when you partake of the sacrament unworthily. Now, its all a very simple fix....just talk to your bishop, explain that you were not entirely honest in your previous interview and want to fix it. He will more than understand and you will walk out knowing that you did the right thing and can move on. Just make the appointment and come clean...it isn't worth it to take a chance. again...pot calling the kettle black, but these are things I know to be true regardless of whether I choose to follow them myself.

Completely hypocricital...but I want to get married in the temple.

This pretty much sums up the situation perfectly. Those two assumptions were spot on. And no, you didn't at all come off condescending. Thank you so much for your contribution and thoughts, and for understanding where I am right now.

I agree with this. I'm not ready to. I don't want to repent or change. How do I get to the point where I do want whats right? Its just not important to me right now but at the same time I am somehow almost craving church and related things...I know it doesn't make sense, and I wish that I could honestly say that I want to fix things, but I just can't. Maybe its wrong to want to have some relationship with the Lord, and some connection to him through church/scriptures when I'm not willing to do what He asks.

I guess we just aren't all as good and righteous as you are. Who are you to say if someone is being sincere or not? You are really the only person I've seen as less than helpful on the site...I came asking if I could go to church and you became judgemental and superior in your attitude. You have no right to say what I will and will not do, nor do you have a right to judge me for what I have done. To everyone else, thank you for your suggestions, for the experiences you have shared with me, and for your encouragement. I know this is a serious situation and I appreciate the concern you have shown me.

The entire point of my original post was to say that I am "honestly not that concerned about living according to Gospel Standards".....but is it wrong to go to church if I honestly don't want to follow that part of it. That was my question...you are pointing out things that I've already openly admitted and am fully aware of. I am "honestly" saying that my situation is that I am having sex and I do not want to stop/will not stop for right now but I would possible like to start attending church again. Thats is about as open as it gets. I know that repenting SHOULD be more important, but it isn't. I honestly do not want it right now. I don't want to be happier, or feel better...I know thats wrong, but its honest.

He lives 2 states away, so when we see eachother we stay at eachother's apartment. Finances don't allow us to get a hotel....not that that would make it much better or easier to keep from doing things. In a few months he is moving here, will have his own place, and when it gets late, or things start getting shady or hard I can easily just take the 3 minute drive home. We can be together without "living" together in a few months= infinitely easier to stay clean.

I have already talked to my bishop many times...he knows everything that is going on. I met with him back in June just before I stopped going to church and nothing has changed since then...other than the not going to church part.

Thank you for all the responses and words of encouragement. I am shocked at how many people responded to try to help. Part of me is afraid because I know that if I start going back I will get those conflicting feelings that so many spoke of, and I really just don't want things to change just yet. In a couple of months things can change and that will be doable, and its something that could be successful...but for them to change right now it would have to first tear my world apart. I'm just not willing to let that happen. We are being extremely careful to use multiple forms of pregnancy prevention. I know its never 100% safe, but surely when you stack one method on top of the other on top of another the chances are pretty slim. I don't want to bring a child into an uncertain circumstance, and I know thats what it is at the moment...so we are being safe and doing many things to prevent pregnancy at this time. I guess I will just continue to think things over for a little while and decide if I will go back now when I know I can't stop, or just wait until I can go back and commit to fixing everything. Either way I know that I shouldn't take the sacrament, accept a calling, or publically pray/speak (deifnately wouldn't feel comfortable doing that right now anyways). It is good to know that so many of you think that it wouldn't be wrong to go back now though. I very much appreciate your support.

Thank you so much for your response. I know what I should be doing, and I know that I should do it now. I've tried time and time again, but just can't and don't want to stop. I know thats what the Lord wants, and I know its terrible to not do what He wants. I know it will be hard to repent because I've tried so many times. I just want to wait a few months. I'm just not strong enough to make the sacrifices right at this moment to change things. I know it makes me a terrible person, but I just can't right now.

Hi I am new to this site and this may seem like a silly question, but it is genuine. I am a 24 year old young woman and have been a member of the church my whole life. All through my youth I was an extremely active girl, president of all three young women's classes, graduated seminary with perfect attendance, etc. For the past couple of years however, i've been in a relationship where we do not keep the law of chastity. I still know the church is true, but when I am honest with myself I just don't want to live it right now. I will in the future but just not now. I KNOW that is absolutely terrible, but its at least honest. My question is...if I know that I am not trying to be clean, can I still go to church/read scriptures? I haven't in about 9 months because it just feels hypocritical. I know I can't take the sacrament, and I wouldn't, but I just want to go. I still feel the spirit from time to time, and I want to continue to learn...I just don't want to change that one part of my life. I follow everything else to a "T", just not that. Would it be wrong to go to church and institute and study scriptures and even maybe pray?