As a widow of four years -- I have struggled and continue to struggle with accepting the Lord's will in my life. The decision is just that -- submitting to the Lord's will - in all things. It means for me- living as He would guide me. After prayer, study and obedience according to the authority of the Holy Priesthood (maintaining Temple worthiness) you will be able to make a decision. Reasoning with the Lord (spiritually-mentally and physically) means that a decision (any descision) will be and is your choice. The Lord does know 'you' personally -He is concerned for you-His son Jesus Christ is your Savior. Of this I testify. My prayers are for you to find peace in this matter.