iwishiwasfree

hello I haven't read al these replies yet. but i will now. i woke up today even worse than yesterday, i opened my eyes and realised the good dreams where just a dream. and this was my realitiy. ive just taken one small step and wrote a very short email to someone from church. im actually a lot younger than my profile says. i live alone and ive pretty much been forgotten by everybody. im going to read your replies now thankyou everyone. i just dont understand why a god who loves me so much is not here with me. imi constantly crying out to him. sorry i wont bother you guys anymore ill try sort out my problems somehow xxxx

Hello, I'm not sure how to exactly put this: Basically I am suicidal. I'm not very sure how to cope anymore. God isn't answering prayers. I'm so very lonely and afraid. I have no family who bother with me. I joined the church a few years ago but quickly became inactive. Recently I came back after searching for a long time for the answers. I am not very confident and therfore do not speak to others. I think I'm quite awkward to be around. I recently lost my job and since then I have been doing nothing. I've grown apart from every friend I ever had because of my confidence. I do have friends but I'm not close to them at all. So since I lost my job I feel so low. I'm in so much debt, I'm crying out to god every single day but I get no answers, nothing changes. i spend my day sleeping or crying. Everyone is after me for money. I have stopped going to church and now its December I am dreading spending christmas alone once again. Right now the only option I feel is to end things. God isn't helping me. I don't know where he is. I typed in a few questions about my situation to google today and came across this site. I am so scared Thanks for listening.