mackay78

Thanks everyone for your lovely words of encouragement. It's really reassuring to be reminded I'm not the only one doing this. Most of the friends at church we hang out with are couples with kids like us. Sometimes on a Sunday I feel a bit lonely and as if I'm tagging along. If I think about it too much I feel a bit isolated and downbeat. It's not all the time, but it's still a fairly constant sadness if I spend time thinking about it. I let myself cry sometimes, but usually in private. My branch president is being very supportive, so's my mum. To answer a couple of questions... Blackmarch - she doesn't want any official visiting teachers and stays out of the way when the home teachers come round. She's got 3 or 4 really good friends from church and she usually hangs out with at least one of them most weeks and exchanges emails/texts with them. She's been to one or two activities and she's going to attend our daughter's baptism which is coming up soon. But she doesn't consider herself a 'less-active mormon' - just nothing religious/spiritual. Having said that, at least there's a willingness to occasionally associate with other church members in a church building - it must be really hard for a few of you whose partners/parents won't even go into the building. As for Backroads question... this was an issue initially. A few times she was quite belittling saying I was just being superstitious/looking for reassurance/doing it because my parents had - but after I pointed out that she wasn't giving me the respect that she expected from me, she acknowledged this and has been more supportive and respectful of me and my wishes to teach the children. I find it really difficult to not catastophise. I worry most about the kids. Morning Star - it was very reassuring to read that you and your siblings all stayed active despite the situation you were in. All the kids are very happy going to church and this evening while tucking them into bed and reading stories, they were all the ones who said 'can you help me read my scriptures.' I need to get over a current feeling of lethargy and flat motivation. I know I've got to pick myself and press forward... but I'm just feeling a little cheesed off with life and the situation I'm in. Not to the extent of wanting to give up on my family. But just a bit deflated that I've got to be the lead on all things spiritual. Like I said before, it seems a lonely prospect. Thanks again for all your kind words and supportive messages. It's really helpful. God bless you all.

Hi, I'm here looking for support, advice, reassurance etc. My wife and I married (in the temple) 10 years ago. We have young children. We've always been active and held various callings over the years. We've had morning scripture study, Family Home Evenings, gone to the temple all together for family day trips. Any moral dilema was always easily resolved as we just looked to the teachings of the gospel or prayed about it as a couple if there wasn't an obvious answer. We were united in purpose and eternal goals. 4 months ago my wife stopped going to church. I won't go into the reaons here - they aren't relevant. The fact is, she has made her own choices and it's not my intention to pressurise or push her back to church. Instead I've tried to focus on being supportive, loving, compassionate and considerate. It's probably relevant to say she has stopped because she doesn't believe it anymore. She currently lives most of the main the commandments other than sunday attendance. Not out of any religious desire or belief, but out of respect for me and the children and to avoid hurting us. She may however stop/start doing things over time as she sees fit. We still love each other deeply. We're still commited to our marriage and our children. We still want a happy life together. But it still hurts. It still feels lonely being the only parent taking our children to church, trying to help them read the scriptures, teaching the gospel. I worry about the impact on our children and on our marriage in the long term. Any advice or experience from others in ways of maintaining a positive relationship when one spouse has stopped going to church? How do we reduce the chance of conflict, resentment, frustration on either part. Please don't tell me what my wife needs to do. I respect her agency and intelligence so am not trying to impose anything on her. She is being loving and respectful towards me - I intend to give her the same. What I'm looking for is advice on how I can behave positively and find perspective and balance.

Have been looking for somewhere to be able to chat with like-minded members who don't know me. Have a few challenges and issues right now and it will be good to talk and to read