mstherapist

You know I gave my kids the book, 300 Questions LDS Couples Should Ask Before Marriage by Shannon Alder. It is a must do for anyone getting married. Maybe you are not marriage material...or not compatable. I would suggest you go get it and go through it with her.

I have a friend that told and his wife's hatred grew larger than his sin of adultery. He lost everything and she twisted the kids minds and told them how evil her exhusband was and now the kids see there father once a week. I don't see how confessing to the Bishop made is family whole again. It damaged the kids and made a good women go off the deep end with hatred. I also know a man that never told and waited till later in life and then confessed. He made sure he made up to her 5 times the amount of what he did. He went to counseling, he took her on trips, he told her he loved her everyday. He made her life wonderful.....then he told her 10 years later. She had been shown so much love over the years that she realized how much he cared for.....how fearful he was to lose her and she forgave him. Then I know someone that didn't tell and he did nothing to really make amends....he later told his wife 10 years after the fact and she cried....why? Because she wanted to leave but needed the reason to do so... He had stold her youth and beauty. It was too late to find another and she hated him for it. They are still togeher but rarely speak. as you can see there are a million out comes to the same problem. I feel for you. To be spiritual and do the teachings of this religion honestly. Then you confess. But with consequences you may very well have a bad outcome. So I can give no advice because in the end its children that get hurt. If you can keep the family together tell.....if your going to end up divorcing then keep the mouth shut and do what the first guy did and make up for it everyday of your life.... I don't know....maybe that is not the way of god....but the way to get through the world and not hurt your kids. But let me say something else.....something that I see more than not.....if you cheated then you will be capable of it even easier the second time around. And the second time around when your oldest child finds out you will destroy them more than if you just left willingly while they were young. If she knows then she might be willing to help you. Either way, get the book 300 Questions LDS Couples Ask for a More Vibrant Marriage. There are a lot of questions in it that you two can go through to figure out how to fix this mess your in and fgure out if you should stay or go.

My husband and I was given a gift by a church member.....it was a book called, 300 Questons LDS Couples Ask for a More Vibrant Marriage by alder. It was an excellent book to get to know one another all over again. It also talked a lot of problems we were having in our marriage. It got us to really talk about our future and the issues we had....but we ended up knowing each other so much more because it guided us. Just a shout out to go and get it......it might help your relationship.