Jackol

That's not what I said, but I guess I better word what I'm trying to say better next time. When I say the church wants you to be married as soon as possible I meant that marriage and preparing for it is priority number 1. This has been my counsel from every priesthood leader I have had, and we have even heard in GC that marriage and preparing for it should take priority over things like school and careers.

I'm not going to lie. Staying active in the church is HARD, being a single adult makes it even harder IMO. You have to just make the conscience decision that you are going to go no matter what and stick to it. Even if you don't feel worthy and/or you feel awkward. I will let you in on a little secret, just about all the single adults in your ward feel just as awkward as you. The church is built around families and marriage, (for good reason) but you are an odd duck (being single) so of course you are going to feel a little awkward. The church wants you married as soon as possible for many reasons, but a big one is the law of chastity. Those physical urges are VERY strong and keeping them bottled up and under control with no outlet is very hard.

That's Satan. He will always try and influence you when you are making major life decisions. He will try anything he can to keep you from making good choices. It can be very hard at times. This is why it's so important to have support.

If I were you I would talk with the missionaries that are working with you and your Bishop and let them know about your concerns. I know when I was a missionary our number one goal, besides teaching the gospel, was finding the people we teach a support system. If your support system is gone the missionaries and Bishop will do everything they can to help you find a new support system. You would be surprised how many people in your ward/branch would be there for you and help you.

Can't answer that for you I have never seen the handbook. I always figured it was up to each individual Bishop to decide what is best for those he has stewardship over.

As far as this point, I know that any time the law of chastity is broken the Bishop must be involved. So that means it doesn't matter if it's once or a 1000 times, the Bishop must always be consulted.

If I found someone I would, but I have not found anyone like that.

Just to clarify for myself. I always confess to the bishop and I don't lie to get a recommend. My comments were addressed towards how 1 Bishop does almost nothing about it, and another takes your recommend away for 6 months to a year. I'm not saying one is right or wrong, but it makes it hard to date when 1 slip up during the year means you won't have a temple recommend for 6 months to a year. I also agree with Ryanh about the mental state change. I admit I'm weak and can't resist. I try as hard as I can, but as the pressure builds I eventually have stretches where I go 5-6 straight days with 0-3 hours of sleep I'm exhausted, can't think straight, my mood is terrible, and that is usually when I break. I can't count the number of nights I have stayed up all night reading scriptures or out doing exercise of one type or another just to keep my mind occupied. I have the hardest time at night when trying to go to bed or waking up in the middle of the night. I am a very light sleeper and it doesn't take much to keep me from falling asleep. I'm not trying to make an excuse or rationalize what I do. I know it's wrong and I admit I'm weak. The only thing I can do is pick myself up and try again.

I have heard many others give this same advice. I even had a Bishop that didn't do anything about it as long as porn was not involved. It really seems to depend on the Bishop from my experience. Some will do nothing and others 1 slip up and you lose your recommend for a year.

While I do agree with you, even a semi-regular outlet that is only once a month would be more often then I masturbate.

Yep. This is my problem. Then on top of it I had a bishop that had a zero tolerance to it so you lost your temple recommend for as long as a year.

You are right that is why I didn't say with 100% certainty, but I can control it now for months usually. It's just extended amounts of time is what gets me.

Exactly. I'm almost certain if I was married and had some outlet for the ever building pressure masturbation would stop completely for me. The problem is getting married in the church when you go long stretches of time without a recommend is hard. I did have one bishop that didn't even suspend my recommend, (only in that ward 6 months though) but then I had another that 1 slip would mean no temple recommend for 6 months to a year. I was in that ward ~3 years and only had a recommend for a couple months. Also part of my problem is I'm a very light sleeper and have only had my body relieve the pressure naturally 1 time. The rest of the time I always wake up before anything happens.

Dating or not doesn't matter. It's just that trying to date while you don't have a recommend is hard. The women always ask about it and after you tell them no, dating stops.

Thanks for you advice. I have tried not giving the problem energy by not focusing on it, but that leads to slips much sooner. The problem is when the pressure gets strong it takes constant refocusing. Only a few seconds of not focusing leads to slips. This is why it becomes hard to sleep, (which is the hardest time of the day) which leads to exhaustion, which again leads to slips.