steflou

Hi, this is a very difficult thing for a wife and mother to go through. I understand. I am in a situation with a few similarities. My husband is a member but not active and becoming more and more disillusioned with religion. (that is kind of beside the point. I just wanted you to know that I understand a little but my shoes are a little different than yours.) First of all, you will not be able to become the only woman he will look at. You can dye your hair; wear sleazy clothes and augment whatever you want but he will not stop looking at other women. Hang on to your standards for yourself. You are a daughter of God and don't demean that for your husbands sake. My husband had a nude woman painted on his motorcycle. I told him it was pornographic and he told me it was art. There are all kinds of excuses for a man to view other women. "I appreciate the human body." etc... As for seeing the bishop, he may not be able to give you the advice that will turn your husband away from looking at other women. Your husband is the only one who can do that. It is an addiction and he will have to want to stop. But the bishop or any other worthy priesthood holder can give you a blessing to give you strength or comfort. Arrange a time during Relief Society or another time when your husband is busy. The blessing is for you and it is personal. Also people talk of leaving your husband, I don't think anybody understands the logistics of a single divorced mom with 8 kids. Even with child support it is something that would be very difficult even under the best of circumstances. Watch over your children. Protect them from your husbands actions. I don't know how many sons or daughters you have but you don't want your sons to view women as objects and you don't want your daughters to feel as if they are on this planet to be gawked at. Keep praying. You have a lot deal with. Enough said on my part. Hang in there. Realize that you are not the cause or the cure but do what you can to protect yourself and your children.

I have received some good advice in some of the above postings. There seems to be some controversy on whether my husband is a "jerk" because he has walked away from the church. Not being active in the LDS faith or any faith for that matter does change the value system of a man which makes for a difficult situation in a marriage. It can cause situations where he would be considered a "jerk". Language used is coarser, opinions on respecting a woman are very secular, and other values are viewed as not necessary in his world. I want my children raised without watching shows such as South Park, rated R movies that are full of gratuitous sex, naked pinup girls on toolboxes. . I'm not to the point that I don't allow R movies at all although I should. But the point is we have different values. My next question is how do you "invite the Spirit" into your home if there is only 1 adult believer? It is a very heavy burden to bear. I do realize that my children will choose their own path in life but I do believe it is my responsibility to teach them the truth as I know it.

You have hit the nail on the head. There are other issues involved. Of my 3 sons the oldest has moved out of the house and will have nothing to do with the church although he attended on Mother's Day. The other boys love going to church and the 10 year old has hopes of being a missionary. I am afraid that the longer they are around the negative views of their dad the more negative their views of church will be. I want to be able to strengthen their belief without making it an issue between my husband and I. I don't want religion to come down to choosing which parent to love. Thankfully, I do have very strong support through the people in my ward and am planning on having a blessing today.

My husband and I were both baptized 17 years ago. We have 3 sons 9(17, 10, and 4). I am active but he never has been. He recently told me that he no longer believes in the church and that I have been brainwashed. He thinks that with my focusing on eternity and his focusing on "today" that we are no longer compatible in marriage. We were the only members on both sides of the family and I'm feeling like I am being ganged up on as far as support. I am at a loss on what to do. Is there a way to be true to the gospel without the contention in the home that is there now. Any advice will be appreciated.