FutureMD

In my own experience, (and my mom's,) I think it really depends on what field women choose to pursue. I'm going to be frank, and hope I don't offend anyone, but there are certain career paths & choices that are much more friendly to women and some that aren't. For example, I wonder if my Bishop would've given me the same counsel had I told him I was going to nursing school? Or pursuing an advanced degree in education? Even within medicine itself, there are certain fields that are more "women-friendly" (Pediatrics, OB/GYN, Family) and some specialities that are still considered "good ol' boys" clubs (Most of the surgical specialities). In my experience at BYU, I double-majored in psychology & physiology and it wasn't until my pre-med classes that I encountered any "antipathy" from my male classmates. Psych classes, no problem, but once I showed up to play with the pre-med "boys," I definitely felt a shift. I actually had a male classmate say to my face, "Don't you feel guilty taking another guy's spot, when you should really be worrying about getting married?" Anyway, in general, I agree with you Vort. Maybe in most cases things are grossly exaggerated, but there's something different about med school & being a Mormon female. Up until my pre-med experiences at BYU, I hadn't felt like there was any discrimination or "antipathy" toward women getting an education. But through this process of getting into med school, I have encountered an entirely new subset of prejudices and obstacles to being female, and am sure there will be more to come. It's ok though, I guess this is just helping me be stronger.

I 100% agree with this. I understand that by going to med school, I'm automatically eliminating a lot of guys from my dating pool. I accept that. And not all of them are insecure or have big egos. They probably just want/prefer a wife who's going to stay home. And that's perfectly valid. There are also some who probably do have ego problems/insecurity with it, but I don't want them anyway This helped me realize that not everything Bishops say should be taken as direct, spiritual counsel from Heavenly Father. I should have realized this before. Everyone has their own opinion and my Bishop's could be mixed into his "counsel" a little. I'm still going to fast and pray before next Sunday's meeting, but I'm going to keep this in mind. You've hit the nail on the head. The Church teaches lessons on self-sufficiency ALL THE TIME and especially in this day and age of opportunity and availability, everyone should strive to acquire enough skills and abilities to provide for themselves. It doesn't mean you have to use that skill in the work place, should you choose to stay home. But if you are going to choose to stay home, shouldn't you also plan for the unknown? And by plan, I mean, be prepared with a backup plan on how you're going to provide for yourself and pay the bills should your original plan of staying home fall through. Thank you so much for your well-wishes! I also think you need to figure a lot of things out on your own before "running to the Bishop" in your words. And I love what you said in bold...hadn't thought of it that way before. It's not like I'm sinning by going to med school. Hyohko & Dahlia, I think we would get along really well :)

Classylady-that is awesome! Besides my mom, I honestly don't know any other female, Mormon doctors. How old is your niece? I'm hoping to meet someone while in school as well. I'm scared that I'm already so old, and then the whole "doctor" thing is going to scare a lot of boys away but I just have to trust that things will work out for me.

Backroads- these words you wrote really stuck with me for some reason: I am ultimately the one who has to live with my decision. And if I can kneel down each night feeling good about my choices with a free conscience, then that's all that really matters. Thanks for that! I think that in this day and age, we women are so incredibly lucky that we're able to make the choice to pursue careers or to stay home. I think that many (not all) women are meant to have fulfilling pursuits outside the home. I also think that staying home is a noble "career" as well. And just as women like myself, who choose to work don't want to be judged by those who stay home, we also shouldn't look down upon or judge back and think that if you stay home, you don't have other interests or goals. I don't for one second buy into the feminist idea of women being equal to men. We aren't. Plain and simple. We are unique. We have our divine nature. But, what I do prescribe to is equal opportunities and choices. Every woman, in our day, has the ability to choose. And as women, we should support and uplift each other in those choices, whatever they may be. We get to work if we want, or stay home if we want, or do both! I think it's an amazing time, and as long as we stay true to ourselves and Heavenly Father, and follow our own paths, how can we go wrong? There isn't one right way. Ahhh I digress...lol. For the few that asked, YES I have received my patriarchal blessing. And without divulging too much, I feel it's very in sync with me becoming a doctor. And not just because I'm interpreting a generic statement into what I want it to be. It speaks of serving and healing beyond the walls of my home and family. Thank you MarginOfError, Eowyn, RescueMom, Bini, & Gwen for your stories and examples of women you know who have made careers work. It helps me feel supported in this decision that can often times feel very lonely. Vort-I'm so interested and would love to hear details of what went into your decision to decline med school. (We can PM if you want?) Thank you THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone for your thoughtful comments and insights. I'm so grateful to the speedy community I've found here. I have another appointment with my Bishop this Sunday, so wish me luck! I'll post an update :)

Thanks for all the great advice! I want to clarify a couple points you all brought up. I absolutely believe in the doctrine of divine nature and have a testimony that as a woman, I have the God-given privilege of bearing and raising children. I am not pursuing medicine for worldly or monetary purposes. If being a doctor only paid $20K a year, I would still do it. I am also not pursuing medicine to have a "fall-back" incase I am widowed or find myself divorced. I am pursuing medicine because I love it that much and feel that this is truly my purpose and calling in life. I am pursuing medicine because I honestly believe that I have the potential to do great things with this path that are bigger and greater than me. I have received my own spiritual confirmation about my choice and know that through medicine, Heavenly Father is going to magnify my talents and abilities to serve and help so many. If I ever, for one second, felt that my career was hindering or harming my (future) children in any way, I would quit. But as many of you have acknowledged, my own mother is a physician and I never for one second felt neglected. I always knew us kids were #1, and we are a very strong Mormon family. I suppose I will pray and fast some more about what my Bishop said, but I'm scared that I'll just get the same answer--to stay on my course--and then he will be prejudiced against me. I guess that's jumping to conclusions, but I've always had a good, close relationship with all my Bishops, so I feel like I'm off to a rocky start with this one Also, what do you guys think about the actual "consequences" of me finding a future spouse and also being a Mormon, female doctor? Am I really pegging myself into a hole? I feel like I am already "old" by Mormon standards and I feel like a lot of Mormon guys don't like girls who pursue careers. What do you all think? P.S. Vort--I'm already really nervous about posting on here, so to stay as anonymous as possible, I'd like to keep my University anonymous as well. I hope you understand :)

Hi, I'm new to the forum and am looking for some advice. I am about to start medical school in August and recently moved to the new city where I'll be attending school and started going to my new YSA ward. This past Sunday, I had a sit-down with the Bishop and thought it would be a typical get-to-know-you type thing, but I came away from it very conflicted and confused. I felt like the interview was going fine, all the normal questions, where I'm from, what callings I've had in the past, blah blah blah. Then he found out medical school is what brought me to his ward and the entire mood changed. He told me that he didn't agree with "girls" pursuing careers that would ultimately interfere with them being mothers. (Both my parents are doctors, btw). He asked me if I've read the family proclamation and if I felt my decision was in line with its teachings. I said yes, and that each person has their own path in life, and as long as you're in line with God's will, you need to follow your path. He asked me if I had prayed and pondered about this decision, I said yes of course, and he said that I should pray and fast some more. He said that "as my priesthood leader" he strongly advises me to reconsider my decision and to think about what eternal consequences I could be bringing upon myself by becoming a doctor. He said I might be eliminating many boys from my dating pool and setting myself up to be single and childless for this earthly life. Now, I was raised to support and sustain my church leaders. But I just don't know how to feel about this. Becoming a doctor has been a lifelong dream of mine, I've always felt it was my path in life, and have never felt promptings telling me to reconsider. I've prayed very heavily on the matter, especially on where I should attend school, since I could possibly meet my future husband in the next 4 years, and I want to be in the right place for me. I've always, 100%, felt completely right about pursuing an education and going to med school. And I have been very prayerful and thoughtful about this decision. But since he's my bishop, and he technically has the spiritual mantle of jurisdiction over me, what do I do? Should I take his concerns more seriously? My knee-jerk reaction was actually anger. I was very upset that he would say things like that to me, in the condescending manner that he did, without even really knowing me. But my heart has been softened and now I'm trying to make sense of everything, big picture. Do any of you have advice on the matter? I'm very confused...and now I feel like my Bishop already has something against me before he even knows me. This is stressing me out! Help!