Someday

So how did fast Sunday go?

In my opinion, your haircut it not all that bad. Having said that, when you are passing the sacrament, collecting fast offerings, etc., the focus should be on the sacredness of the action. If people in your ward are distracted by what you are wearing/what you look like, then there is a problem. In a more traditional ward people might be spending more time thinking about you than thinking about the Lord. While you may say "that's not my problem" (I don't think you would), the truth is that it is your problem since you are acting on the Lord's behalf and are (at least for that moment), the Lord's representative. As with any service, you must consider who the service is for and what they would find acceptable. I am sure that you will do the right thing. BTW, good luck with your hockey season.

Congratulations, I am glad things went better this time. I hope your baptism goes well.

First of all, I admire your courage to post about this and ask for help. Secondly, mental illness is NOT a sin, please keep telling yourself that. I am not sure where you are located, but you should be able to ask your bishop for a referral to LDS Family Services. They have great counselors there that can help. Also, working in a Mental Health Hospital can give you a very skewed view of reality (I used to work with emotionally disturbed high schoolers in a non-public school), so please don't go judging yourself based on what you deal with on a daily basis. A word of advice (I am not a counselor), I would skip fasting for right now until you are able to get some help. Fasting may tend to reinforce some of the feelings that you are having. Of course, that doesn't mean that you can't pray and bear your testimony or do any of the other things that you would do while fasting - you can still do that, just eat regular meals for now. While this won't solve anything, it is one less thing to worry about for the short term. I wish you luck and hope that you get the help that you need soon.

Uriel, I have met people on the street one minute and 60 minutes later they are ready for baptism. I have met others that took half a lifetime. There is no "one size fits all" date. If the missionaries feel this is the "right" date and you don't, tell them honestly. Of course, I think a lot of this will have to do with what you consider "ready" to mean. Do you know everything there is to know? (I know I don't and I'm 37 and was born into the church, so don't worry about that!). If you haven't done so already, pray about it. If you do so with an open mind and an open heart, the Lord will tell you whether you are ready for baptism. Good luck.

Really good advice. Personally, my wife did ask me to give up friends - she is very jealous and insecure - fine, I did that - it was a sacrifice I was willing to make to help her be happy. I made that choice eleven years ago. Unfortunately, a few months ago she wanted me to quit my callings and cut off contact with my family. I drew the line there and told her it wouldn't happen, that both the church and my family mean too much to me. I believe that in a good marriage, these kids of ultimatums should not be happening. If they are, then I think you should take a good hard look at where your priorities lie and if this person truly fits into your eternal plans.

Like anything else, there are growth stages to our testimony. Generally speaking, there are a few reasons why we "obey": 1. we are afraid of reprisal 2. we see everyone else doing it, so it must be okay 3. we do it because we are told to 4. we do it because we know intellectually it's right 5. we do it because we have faith in the Lord that what he is telling us to do is for our own good and it will help us on our way to exaltation. Each one of these stages carries its own reasoning and it's own set of blessings. While I think we should be striving for #5, I personally admit that I am at other stages in my development in some areas. Personally, I see nothing wrong with that - we are supposed to be in a constant state of development and progression.

Hi. I am sorry that your interview did not go well. I know it's hard, but try to stay positive. While I don't know what exactly was said in the conversation, I can tell you from experience in conducting baptismal interviews that there are some (we will call them indiscretions) that require the missionary conducting the interview to stop and seek a higher authority than his own to approve a baptism. In most cases, the Mission President will speak with the person wanting to be baptized and, in some instances, will contact a General Authority for permission. I have personally interviewed people who have committed unthinkable crimes before they knew about the church and were still able to be baptized. Hang in there and have faith that all will work out.

Thanks. Where in San Diego are you from?

You can get a cheap combo lock for a few bucks. I know it's a hassle, but honestly I grew up with both side gates and the garage door locked. It took a few extra seconds to open the gate - no biggie. Besides, if small children were getting into my yard, I would be concerned about bigger kids wanting to come onto the property and do more than leave their dog poop! Of course, since it seems like mom doesn't care too much (at least that's the impression that I'm getting) you could always clean up the dog's business and gift wrap it for mom! Seriously though, trespassing is trespassing and needs to be dealt with before these kids get older or other kids decide that it would be a great idea to use your property as their stomping grounds. I don't know where you are located, but in most areas parents are legally responsible for their kids. If the kids continue to trespass, then the parents can be held liable. Taking pictures of the kids and their dog a few times and turning them over to the PD might be an avenue IF the problem continues after talking to the kids. Good luck.

Hi, I am a married, father of one and step-father to four living in San Diego. I stumbled across this site looking for jobs in the CES field - still not quite sure how I ended up here! So far I have enjoyed the conversations.

I understand what you are saying and, to an extent, agree. I just think that the same spirit we use to determine if a person is "the one" is the same spirit that we need to use to determine if we can be of meaningful assistance or support to someone. I think the position that "I can never be a friend to someone I dated/was in love with" as a general rule probably is correct for most people, but to apply it as a rule without exception I believe has the potential to dismiss the promptings of the Holy Ghost. I keep going back to the Good Samaritan in my mind. I know that the GS did what he had to then left, but he also came back to see if he could be of further assistance. As with anything, if we are guided by the spirit and are open to its promptings, we won't go wrong.

If you are talking about dating to find a spouse, then yes I agree with what you are saying and, in a slightly more long-winded version was trying to say the same thing. When I say be his friend I am not talking about dating him, I meant just what I said - be friends. I think we get too caught up in finding the right person sometimes that we let potential friendships go by the wayside. I believe that we come into contact with most people for a reason. The reason isn't always clear and may not be what we think it is. All I am saying is that if the OP is not willing to date (and by extension marry) this person (note, I don't think she should date this person), then at least keep the door to friendship open and let him decide if he is willing to settle for that.

Cooling, First of all, I think it is great that you are asking questions and willing to put in the time and effort to understand our teachings. There is so much to tackle here that I am not quite sure where to start... 1. Missionaries are taught to discuss the first principles and ordinances of the gospel (1. Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, 2. repentance, 3. Baptism by immersion, 4. The laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost). Anything beyond that comes from personal study and/or youthful speculation. While we believe that the family is the foundation of the church, the beliefs that some parents pass on to their children is just plain wrong. These children (some, not all) take these beliefs and pass them on to non-members while on their mission. While this is typically not done to mislead people, the result can be confusing for someone like yourself searching for the truth. 2. Let's not forget that a certain 14 year old boy once felt as you and decided to take his questions to the highest authority he could find - God himself. Personal revelation is a core belief in the church. As you progress in your personal study, your conversations, and your prayers, you will be able to confirm your findings directly with the Lord. Of course, as with any promise, there are some ground rules: 1. you must be willing to accept the Lord's answer, 2. you must be willing to keep an open mind, 3. you must be willing to be patient (as the answer will not always come right away). 3. There is a reason why we are encouraged to keep our studies focused on the first principles and ordinances of the gospel. Understanding the finer points of doctrine (deep doctrine as some like to put it) takes a thorough knowledge and faith in the first principles and ordinances. I equate it to learning Calculus without being proficient in simple math - you may get the general concept, but without the fecundation skills, you will never be able to properly apply the concepts. In other words, take your time to explore the basics (speaking with the missionaries is probably the best way to go about this), decide if this is the right path for you, then strive to understand the other points of doctrine/discussion that you are struggling with. The answers will come in time.

Hi. I know I'm new and should probably introduce myself first, but I will save that for a more appropriate thread. I am not sure that either extreme is the best answer. I would definitely advise not pursuing a serious relationship with this person at this time. However, since he is honest and upfront enough to tell the OP about his struggles, it sounds like what he needs is a friend who can give moral support. This is where it gets difficult, the line between moral support and "falling in love" can get real blurry REALLY fast. As far as walking away and coming back when he is "cured" (I know, my words, not yours - if I am mistaken in what you meant, then I apologize), that can never truly happen - addiction is a life-long struggle. The question that the OP must address is - if you do stay together and (someday) get married, would you be willing to stay with him if/when he relapses? Would you be willing to stay with him if you have children? If either of these answers are "I don't know" or "no", then be the best friend that you can to him and make your intentions clear to him. If he really considers you a friend and you are willing to be there for him, he could probably use the support.