My husband and I were married Aug 11, 2012. The day we were married, everything changed on his end. He was no longer attracted to me, these are his words, I'm not sure what he means other than that he doesn't hug or kiss me, no cuddling. We don't spend anytime together, he just plays his video games all day when we're not in class. He says he knew we shouldn't get married but that everyone kept telling him that any two righteous people can make a marriage work. I have been working so hard to be the best that I can be, but I am never up to his standards. He will ask me to change xx and I will, but he won't notice, so I'll ask if he noticed, and he says no I didn't but that's great so can you change xxxx now. He admits that he has given up trying to make it work. He criticizes everything I do, and I can't even go to the bathroom without him questioning what I'm doing (while he's staring at his computer screen). The only thing he will agree to doing together is to play his online games, and I don't like them. Last year I played a little with him thinking that he would then do some things I like to do, but it only made him want to play more. So I stopped playing the games. I didn't even know he played games until after we got married. When we were dating we would watch movies and bake things together, but now he says he's never liked doing those things but that he was just doing them because he liked me and wanted to impress me. Now he won't do them at all. After he told me he's given up and doesn't see how it could get better, I have stopped trying. Apparently he stopped shortly after we got married, so I've just been wasting my time up until now. I am a convert of 2 years, so I can't talk to my family about this because they don't understand what a temple marriage entails. I have had to isolate from everyone, my family especially, because he doesn't approve of them and he says they messed up my head when I was growing up, but I just think he can't accept that we were raised differently. My mother-in-law called me out of nowhere after Christmas saying she noticed how disconnected we are, and that we're like oil and water and that she thinks we should get divorced because "sometimes you just need to let oil be oil and water be water and since we have no kids it's the best time to do it." We have talked to the bishop and stake president, and they say that what makes the difference is going to the temple. We have since they advised us, but on his end it's not making a difference. I feel lied to and taken advantage of, and I just want to run away sometimes. I can't keep trying at this relationship anymore. A divorce is the last thing I ever wanted, but apparently I married a stranger. It's so embarrassing. I have talked a little with my mom, and she says that since I've met him I've "become an old grandma." She says I've lost all of my personality and individuality. I cried when she told me that, because I feel like I'm trying to be someone I'm not by adjusting to his ever changing standards. I can't keep up with who he wants me to be this week. If I don't live up to them, he threatens divorce. I don't want to be with someone else, but I don't want to be with him anymore. I just feel nothing inside anymore, I feel empty and used up. Any advice or even just words of comfort? I'm suffocating.
