kalinanav

I have always lived by that too. I have never refused a calling. I have definitely felt uncomfortable in callings but have learned and grown as a result of those callings. I felt reservations for my calling in the Sunbeams but I still accepted it and gave my best effort. I have found my faith dwindling and I never want to go to church anymore. I dread every sunday and I find it too hard to take care of 3 extremely active and stubborn children all day everyday and then go to church to have to take care of my kids in sacrament and 2-8 sunbeams (some of which have some major issues, mentally). I feel like an overworked babysitter at this point and I really prayed about being released. I feel so strongly that I need to be in RS. I still believe in not turning down a calling (but maybe we really should be praying about it if we have reservations). Nobody understands what you are going through in your life except yourself. I am VERY good at seeming happy and I almost always have a smile on my face. I hate confrontation, I am a peacemaker and I love to serve others but sometimes, my well-being has to come before others.

I understand how you feel. I asked the Bishop about a month ago to release me. I suffer from depression and my husband lost his job and worked for only 2 months our of this entire year so far. The Bishop refused to help us and I felt like all the supports I had just snapped. I wrote my Bishop a letter after I had a really awful night (trying not to commit suicide) asking him to release me. He talked to me 2 weeks after that to see how I was doing and see if I still wanted to be released. I did and he asked me to wait until they could find someone to replace me. I teach Sunbeams and it seems like nobody wants that calling. I'm also seeing a counselor that suggested that I REALLY need to go to Relief Society. I have told my bishop all of this. Then I suggested to our Primary President that I could teach with my husband (who teaches the 12-year-olds) and then he and I could go to Priesthood and RS (because his class is all in young men's and women's for the last class of the day). I just found out today that he won't let us do that and he told the Primary President that he wanted to keep me where I was. I'm really frustrated and am considering telling the President that I won't do it anymore or just going to a different ward for the rest of the year until he gets the message that I want to be released. I have thought about this and prayer about it and talked it through with friends and family and I know that I need to be in RS. I just don't know how to get my Bishop to see this and realize how serious I am about this. I feel like we sometimes need to give them an ultimatum. "You either release me, or I'm going to a different ward" I feel more like I'm venting that helping here but, if anything I said helps, then I'm glad to hear it!