There's two ways to look at the particular situation. The first is your Bishop is attempting to be a good mentor to you as so far it sounds like he is the closest friend you've confided the most in. The second part is propriety in leadership associations between gender and youth. In this case I feel the propriety trumps the mentorship and you should include at least another leader in your associations ... have you considered confiding in your laurel leader? Way One As someone who has been in very similar shoes (problems with masturbation and a personalized form of pornography in books and my own imagination since I was 14), and just overcoming it (I put my mission papers in at the end of this month after a 10 year struggle), I would like to share a few viewpoints. Talking to your bishop isn't bad. I've talked to a bishop every two weeks for years about my own issues. I saw an LDSFS counselor twice before attending a handful of PASG meetings off and on for three years. Five bishops (singles ward...) have all had similar standards: 3 to 6 months of being completely clean before full reinstatement (whether that means doing priesthood ordinances, public prayers, callings or taking the sacrament varies here). On a personal level, I started taking the sacrament after a month of being "sober," then helped prepare the sacrament at 2 months, and finally started passing/blessing after 3 months. The LDSFS counselor I talked to told me this flat out, before we started: He was there to help me be copasetic with my life. If I was happy sinning, then good. He wasn't there to force change on me, just offer the tools to do so. The greatest tools he offered was a concrete perspective on masturbation - a drug that works 100% of the time with little visible side effects, and addiction - what it is, how bad it can be relative to where I stood, and how to overcome it. The first visit he got to know me, my view of my family, and what I wanted to accomplish in therapy (I hate therapists and wanted to stop masturbating). The second visit he talked me through identifying triggers and steps that lead up to it - in essence most addicts go through a ritual before acting out, and if you can identify and catch your own sequence early enough, you can change your pattern. The best advice he told me was to look myself in the mirror every day and tell myself 3 positive things about myself. It felt completely off topic, but it did a world of good. Seeing the good in yourself helps you see blessings, gives you an eye single to glory, invites the spirit, and teaches you charity toward yourself and others. After that, since I had all the literature and his whole bag of tricks (where a rubberband or hair tie as a bracelet and snap it if you're feeling ansy, get angry at yourself and be verbal, get up and get a glass of water, pray, sing songs, etc...), I chose to go to group meetings (they're free...). There they talk about emotional support. What struck me most was to see the gradient of recovering addicts there are in the world: people who can't go a few hours without acting out, to people who'd been sober for 20 years but still came to meetings every week. I learned that emotional stability in life is just as important as physical, spiritual or mental stability. I never worked through all the 12 steps myself as I decided I wasn't truly "addicted." I was caught in a heavy chain of transgression and needed help to get out of it. Telling myself I was addicted made me feel helpless and give up on trying to recover just as a badly as thinking I wasn't sinning at all. What did help was hearing peoples stories of their struggles and ways they overcame temptation, realizing I wasn't the only one with these thoughts and emotions, being able to ask questions, and most of all sharing my own problems in an honest environment where I wouldn't lie or minimize what I'd done (to myself or others). Typically in Group you'll find one or a few people whom you come to rely on for guidance and support, your mentor. Its normal to call your mentor in the middle of the night when you're having problems, or texting them with reports every day. Mentors are an integral part of addiction recovery, and it sounds like that's what your bishop is trying to be. Having your mentor also be your judge in Israel can be helpful and hurtful. Helpful in that he understands your particular trials better than anyone, hurtful in that he may be to close to the situation to be a judge of worthiness (IMO). Way Two On the flip side of that is a solid set of rules in the Church Handbook on conduct and propriety. Bishops will never interview a woman unless another bishopric member is sitting within a few yards of his office (... close enough to hear screaming, I suppose ...). Just like tithing envelopes are never opened without two people present, and missionaries are never alone. The Church has fairly specific rules when it comes to interacting across gender, and those rules are not to be taken lightly or bent. I know EFY conselors, even though they make very close friendships with their EFY kids, are told not to become friends over Facebook, or contact them outside written letters after EFY. In my opinion (IMO), I think you should continue to meet with your bishop every 2-3 weeks for 15 minutes, take the sacrament when you feel ready (bring it up with your bishop, "I think I'm ready to take the sacrament again."), but stop texting him and limit your emails to church calling specifics only. Your dad can be a great resource if you feel like confiding in him, but if not, think of someone who you can talk to (female preferably) and ask if you can text/call them when you're having trouble. I promise you that they will not look down on you, they will be elated to help. I remember the hardest thing for me was not only learning to accept help from others, but directing it as well. The question "How can I help?" is daunting to someone in recovery - how can I tell you how to help me when I can't even help myself? ... but it will work out as you're upfront and commited to change and relying on their help. Extra Sorry for the long winded post, I've read the backlog of your topics and thought I could bring a few insights. More about myself, What made me overcome this last time was commitment. I understand masturbation, its effect, why I did it, when, how, all that. What I've come to realize is the spiritual toll its taken, the emotional effect it has on me (I'm noticeably MORE depressed on days I've acted out to the point where people have asked if I'm Bipolar), and the hurt it causes others in unseen, cascading ways. I didn't necessarily have a desire in my heart to stop, but I wanted to in my mind and spirit. I fully committed myself to doing whatever it takes to stop, whether that meant confiding in my roommate and waking him up in the middle of the night as needed; sleeping on the floor every night; moving back with my parents for a few months; or telling every person who's asked why I haven't been on a mission yet (that's all happened btw). The important part of it though: as I tried to stop, the Lord stepped in and gave me the desire to change. As I prayed for the desire, it came, until now I shudder at the very thought of acting out (literally, I shake and people ask what's wrong). Change is possible, if you're committed. When all is said and done, no matter the route your recovery goes, whether through groups, counseling, or private study. It all boils down to applying the atonement in our lives on a daily basis. As the sacrament prayers say, we have three things to worry about: take His name upon us, always remember Him, and keep His commandments. If we do that, we'll always have His spirit to be with us. I know from experience that if the spirit is with me, the desire to masturbate is not. And keeping His commandments is as simple as remembering Him and taking His name upon me - meaning that I place the Lords will ahead of my own and consciously think "What does the Lord want me to do?" every morning. Which invariably leads to praying sincerely for an answer (as well as reporting to the Lord how my night went, thanking him for help, and asking for help in the day) and reading scriptures. That's why the primary answers (read, pray, ponder...) work, is because they put the Lord forefront in your mind and help you fulfill the covenants we make at Baptism. Well, that's my thoughts/testimony. Sorry again for the long speech and pseudo-hijack of the topic. I wanted to respond to the other topics and felt it best to do so in one single post. I don't think your doing anything wrong in talking/listening to your bishop, and your bishop sounds like he's trying his best. I think your dad is trying his best too, and just wants to help any way he can. I don't think you're a full addict either. Don't get yourself down, but talk to others who you're close with and try to branch out to built a support network that you can rely on for help in overcoming this. Just the act of telling someone your struggling with thoughts is usually enough to make them go away.
