Asriel_Belacqua

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Everything posted by Asriel_Belacqua

  1. I really like what JudoMinja (midget-ninja, no?) said. It really does sound like you let it build up too long, and when that happens people tend to let go. No matter how non-confrontational they are. The little phrases he gave were also great suggestions/starting points. Another thing might be, if your employer provides some sort of counseling to employees, to take advantage of that and maybe blow off some steam to a third party that has no vested interest in anything other than your emotional health. Lastly, if all things fail, you could quietly go to your manager (or assistant manager) and note the disturbances and say that they are adversely effecting your ability to work and possibly the ability of others to work as well.
  2. First of all, I think you are greatly overstating the similarities of the stories. There are many similarities, yes. The feelings of betrayal, of guilt maybe, but it is mostly, from what I've seen (and I've spent years on that site) it is a feeling of pain. Think of it like a 12-step program, if it helps you. ExMormon.org is the first step in the 12-step program. It is a site known typically for being the place where people go to vent and rage (much like you would when you first break up with a girlfriend, or if you just got off an addiction). The posts will be very emotional, probably not super-thought out (though there are many posters who are well past this first step), and based more on feelings and emotion than anything else. Now for the rest. And that's great, for you. Some people can have bad experiences. Should they give up so easily? Well, maybe not, but maybe that's why they go to church for "30 years and not believe it" like you said below: A lot of the people that I have talked to from there and personally started out by reading church-approved materials with their questions, most of the time trying to prove to themselves that their questions were unfounded and the church was true. Some even felt that these church materials showed them that the church was wrong. They could have misunderstood what the text was saying, but in their mind that's what it was. I wouldn't call it stupidity, I'll address this more later. And this is why it becomes so emotional. Religion is inherently emotional, simply because of what the implications are - especially in the christian beliefs and even moreso (in my opinion) in the LDS church. I've seen a range of emotions ranging from "torn up" to celebratory. As I said above, I think you are overstating the similarities. There are a lot of people who get torn up over the garments, but if you think about it, it's because it represents (what was) a huge part of their life. To use the relationship analogy from above, it's like when you finally get rid of everything that reminds you of your long-time ex. For some people it's a very difficult and emotional process. Again, range of emotions, but barring that a lot of the people I've talked to explained this as a support group thing, a family issue (if the family is mormon), and lastly a final admission of a lack of faith or total admittance of disbelief. It can symbolize the "final nail in the coffin," so to speak. Because, as with all relationships, the other person has to be considered. Especially kids, since they are developing and can be seriously affected by conflict, emotional, physical, or otherwise. So someone should stay in a church if they are married just so they don't become divorced or so family members don't hate them? That sounds more threatening to me than welcoming. The family members should accept their choice, even if they disagree, because this person is family. If you love someone you don't hate them just because they choose a different path. As I said above, but will restate: This is because it is a very emotional and (sometimes) painful process for those involved - for whatever reason. That website is definitely a "first step" website, and I'm sure that if you look elsewhere you will find that while former members may have their issues, they typically won't be so angry/emotional. There is a difference between a drinker and an alcoholic, as well as someone who's emotional and someone who wants to kill the church (or harm it in any real way). You sure you read as much as you say you have? Because most of the people I see on that site, other than the newcomers, seem pretty happy. As above, I haven't done any surveys, but based on my years of experience of reading that site, most of the people (I'm going to say about 70%) tend to become extremely cautious about any religion and very nitpicky about any details. These are people that don't want to be "lied to" (in their minds, remember, they feel betrayed and lied to) anymore. I will agree though, that going there probably isn't the best source of information. It is an emotional site that will be biased against the church - that is the nature of its residents. I will also say that if you go there with a very strong testimony you should be fine. Faith is an integral part of a testimony, yes, but if someone is questioning something about the church I'd say the best thing to give a little faith back would be through the use of intellect. We humans are logical people (albeit, also extremely emotional at times), and appeals to logic work very well, especially when an appeal to emotion (blind faith) has failed. Alright, I can respect that.
  3. CommanderSouth: First of all, this is my first post so Hello! The reason for me finding this one so important to post on though is because it hits home for me. This "issue" as some might call it. I'll call it a journey. Where it takes you, nobody knows yet. You might end up being the most faithful member of the church, and hey, if that's what makes you happy then good. You might also become atheist, and again, if that's what makes you happy, good. My sincerest advice: Don't get too emotional about any of this. It's all very disheartening - examining ones religious beliefs - and it is easy to make yourself miserable, or even sick. My sincerest advice is to choose wisely, choose well, do your research. If a church or a belief, or a belief against the LDS church is not true, there will be evidence. There will be enough evidence to prove one way or the other. Every site has its own share of angry people. I'd say that most of the people on ExMo.org are pretty upset though because they have just started their journey away from the church. It's a very emotional time, as some of them believe that everything they once "knew" was false. Imagine if you had discovered, just today, that the world was in fact flat and that the sun actually did revolve around us. It'd be intimidating, and a bit scary. But, this does not mean that they cannot bring up valid arguments or points. Those sites aren't designed to disprove the church though, contrary to popular belief. They are sites where people discuss what they perceive to be the truth. If it is truth, there will be facts behind it, if it is false, then there won't be. Though yes, those sites will fuel doubts. That's what they do. Just like a Buddhist site is going to fuel thoughts about Buddhism. I'm not quite sure what you are saying here. Are you saying that it's better to be a sheeple and just follow something because someone said so instead of researching it and proving it for yourself by any means you deem necessary (whether it be prayer or reading)? I hate to rip into everyone in this thread, so I will say that I liked the helpful vibe coming from the posters, just maybe not their arguments so much (so don't take it personally). As for RM: I fully agree with what you said. Determine for yourself what is true and think things through. Don't be a sheeple for either side (anti- or pro-LDS). I'm sure that God wouldn't want someone to follow Him just to be part of a crowd. And lastly, Commander: Whatever choice you make is yours and yours alone, and you know what? If it makes you happy, that should be good enough for every other human on the planet - lest they decide to start judging for God.