someldsdude

Martain, I appreciate the link to the talk. Very good talk and I have read it thoroughly. Unfortunately the article does mention that sometimes the savior may not take away all such desires. "But sometimes we are “healed” by being given strength or understanding or patience to bear the burdens placed upon us.". I just trying to fully understand this process, as it appears that such weaknesses are given so we can remain humble. I find it hard not knowing if such desires will be fully taken away or not, I don't wish any man to have desires to look at pornography.

Served a mission and know well enough to not do that.

Ya, I definitely don't think it's because of 'boredom'. This is 100% stress. I'm finishing up my schooling and I'm running our business.

I was a bit hesitant to display a bunch of triggers, as they are just excuses and justifications. At the end of the day, the problem still comes back to me. Nor would I claim such problems are because of my wife. With addiction, if you can find the little justification, you will take it and run with it. Has nothing to do with the other person needing to change habits/actions to keep you from doing it again. As I could simply find a new justification. Our marriage didn't start off like a fantasy marriage, and there were some things that made me want to look at bad material simply because I felt like I could get back at her. It seemed easy to have justification in anything. I just want to move on and get this out of my life at this point. I'm kind of done with it. Keep in mind this is a post, and I obviously couldn't discuss everything. I think some people get a little to excited when they see a post like this....

I was a bit hesitant to display a bunch of triggers, as they are just excuses and justifications. At the end of the day, the problem still comes back to me. Nor would I claim such problems are because of my wife. With addiction, if you can find the little justification, you will take it and run with it. Has nothing to do with the other person needing to change habits/actions to keep you from doing it again. As I could simply find a new justification. Keep in mind this is a post, and I obviously couldn't discuss everything. I think some people get a little to excited when they see a post like this....

I just wanted to make it clear that I'm not objecting any kind of internet filter, I just feel as if they would be worthless in my case. I also feel it would also setup a false sense of security for my wife thinking everything is fine as long as the filter is working or as long as the key logger was working.

Long story short, I am one of those guys who struggles with porn/mb and would like to know how to avoid the temptation. Over the last month, I have been working extremely hard not to be tempted to look at pornography or act on it. I'm looking for any ideas that some of you may have. My wife knows about this, but I'm not exactly sure what I can ask of her to help me, nor does she know how to help me? I'll probably show her this post/thread so she can come up with her own ideas. I feel like it's a personal problem and it's something that I need to deal with and resolve. We are moving within a month or so, so I haven't seen the bishop yet since we'll be moving. However, I am starting to reconsider seeing our current bishop instead of just waiting until we are in a new ward. I do not want to relapse or struggle more on this and go through the whole "tell me everything" phase with the wife again. It's embarrassing and shameful and something that shouldn't be slowing me down spiritually and temporally. Here's the issue that we face with my problem. For one, I have to have the internet to run our business. Setting up filters, internet schedules, or anything else you can think of is out of the question as it would probably block our online business. Along with this online business, I have a skill set that would make it extremely easy for me to bypass any filters or any blocks. I manage a lot of I.T. infrastructure and know enough that I can easily be in a dangerous situation if not careful. As you can imagine, I'm in quite a dangerous position given what I do for a living. I love my wife and kids a lot. Now that our oldest is 4, I really want to make sure that I can set a good example to him. My wife, that I know of, loves me and is always talking highly of me...which makes it tough to let her down during this whole ordeal. My plan, that I struggle with, is to do the following: 1) Read scriptures every day. 2) Pray morning and night. 3) Make sure my wife and I pray together. 4) Make sure my wife and I read scriptures together. My goal of this post is to see how you guys eliminate triggers that cause you to look at pornography? I have for the longest time took any rejection from my wife as a trigger, and justified any action on my part. I felt like it was easier to just look at porn than to expect my wife to be intimate with me. Unfortunately I can talk about this for hours, but would rather get straight to the point and know how to kick the problem. I feel that every guy like me who has grown up during the boom of the internet era (under 30yrs old) is addicted to porn. However, I would like to be one of those who control it.

I feel sorry for you, and hope that you guys can see a bishop and then professional counseling. If she doesn't want to do any of that, I would question whether there has been some infidelity... I'm not a counselor, so I'm just giving an opinion of what I would think.