Hello everyone, This is going to be a rather long post, so I'll try to put a TL;DR at the end to spare you the reading. Almost 2 weeks ago my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me seemingly out of nowhere. She is 18 in 5 days, and I'm currently 19, about to serve my mission in 2 months. When she brought it up, I actually had to force it out of her as we were together and I could just tell something had been bothering her the past couple of days prior to that. So we talked and she told me that she doesn't want to do it but that she had received signs from the spirit that it was meant to happen and that she didn't feel right dating me anymore, claiming that she was giving up the perfect relationship. She told me that I didn't do anything wrong and that she felt she was distracting me. I of course tried to tell her otherwise. We had talked in the past and agreed that we would stay together until I left, and then we would just acknowledge that she was free to date others, and live her life however she wanted without my intervention. At the end of the night we agreed to sleep on the decision, and talk to each other the next day. So the next day comes around and she doesn't talk to me at all, and vice versa. Finally she sends me a text and I just blurting out my emotions so we agree to meet in person. When we meet in person, we agree that we just need to be friends and start "cooling off" our relationship, which was already very non-romantic as it is due to us trying to make the transition easier when I leave. We hung out that night, and while it was a bit awkward everything was honestly really pretty good. The next morning I texted her as usual, and she didn't respond. A week went by and she basically had almost completely cut contact with me aside from a few texts here and there to basically let me know that she was alive. I finally asked her about it last friday and she told me that she didn't know why she was doing it and that she's never been in a break up before. I had a hunch that she may have been talking to another guy, so I asked if that was the case. She responded that she had been speaking to a guy from Utah (my age) to help her get through this, but she swore up and down that he had nothing to do with the decision to break up with me. Naturally this made me pretty angry. Number 1 because I feel like he probably did convince her to break up with me given that I know how guys work. Number 2 because she felt the need to go to him instead of me to talk about our relationship before asking my thoughts on breaking up, and she barely knows this guy. I told her that I actually did want to be friends with her and that I understood the ramifications of our relationship. I explained that I don't care if we have a romantic relationship, I just want to be able to talk to her because she's my only LDS friend and one of the only people who understands me. (I'm a recent convert as of a year and a half ago.) She agreed to try harder, etc. We ended the call later and I knew that she wasn't going to change anything. I cried for awhile and prayed extremely hard until finally I got an answer. I realized the reason why she broke up with me and why H.F. gave her the sign to. Long story short, my testimony and reasons for going on a mission revolved around pleasing her, and I knew that I had to change that before I went. I let her know what I discovered a few days later, hoping that she would feel some relief as well, and while she sent me a genuine text message (seriously, the first one that actually felt like it was her talking and not just a person who didn't know me), that was the end of it. She claims to be too busy to text me or hang out with me, and that she's just a bad communicator. She told me that since I'm no longer a priority in her life, she didn't feel any reason to talk to me. So now we get to the part as to why I'm posting this. These past two weeks I've started to fall into a really bad depression. I've prayed harder than ever before and even consulted with my Bishop, which helped a lot. He's going to start meeting with me on a weekly basis to ask how I'm doing, however it's inbetween that gets me. I've been spending the past two weeks almost entirely at my best friend's house, however he is starting to get annoyed of me, and my family is too. None of them seem to understand why I'm not over it yet. When I tried talking to my ex about what I was going through, she told me I was just being melodramatic and that it the whole thing wasn't as bad as I was making it sound. My mind can't comprehend how one day we were so happy and good, and then the next day she just breaks up with me and suddenly doesn't care about me or have a desire to talk to me. While I understand WHY she broke up with me, and why I've been given this trial, I don't understand how she just suddenly can be okay with this. Nobody i've talked to gets it either, and couldn't believe it was true when they found out. I don't think she's talking to the guy from Utah romantically, however I can't help but feel like she's probably talking to him on a much more regular basis than myself. I think I'm doing everything right at this point. I've tried to seek Heavenly Father as much as possible, tried to seek out my family and friends, and I've tried to give her as much space as possible, only texting her when she texts me, or once every couple of days unless she responds. Nothing angry or demeaning. I've even told her that I have no ill feelings against her, but that I want to just be able to talk to her like an actual friend. This girl brought me to the Church, and really changed my life in more ways than I know. While I understand that there will be others like her, it's knowing that I may never talk to her again. My family isn't LDS and while I'm on my mission, I know they'll write to me but it won't be the greatest support by any means. (Neither my Mom, nor Dad completely support me going, or me being LDS.) The thought of leaving on my Mission with nobody back home kills me. Having her (and her family) to talk to was something I really had looked forward to, it's hard for me to just let this fall away. I don't wan't to imitate no-contact for that reason alone, and because we broke up on amicable terms. I do believe that she actually want's to be my friend, but that she doesn't know how to do that and hold back her previous feelings at the same time. We've seen each other once, for about 5 minutes, since the day after the breakup. And it was because she was extremely sick so I dropped by to bring her soup and ask how she was doing. (As a friend, nothing more. I even explained this to her and that I've done this for my friends too.) Seeing her basically made my day, and next day too. I don't care if we continue kissing or expressing our love for each other, I seriously just want to be her friend. I completely agree that right now I shouldn't be romantically involved with her before I go, and that H.F. has a plan for me. TL;DR Girlfriend of 2 years who I love like crazy broke up with me. We agreed to be friends but she is making next to zero effort to talk to me, and I'm starting to get really depressed- and distracted from my mission ahead. So what do I do from here? And how can I get support? I don't want to fall into this depression more than I already have. I haven't really been eating, I hate getting out of bed, and doing things that I love takes far to much energy now. Every time I'm alone, all I can think about is the good times we had. I've been full out crying multiple times a day, and at night- Something I don't think I've ever done in my life. My father is my employer and has tried to be understanding but he's getting irritated that my focus isn't on his company right now, which i'm trying to correct. When I'm with my friend I get distracted which is good, but he's starting to get bummed out that I'm not back to normal and my depression is subsequently starting to bring him down, and cause problems with his Girlfriend and Him. Naturally I don't want this, so I'm trying to limit myself from being with him 24/7 and trying to find a way to cope without his help. I'd appreciate any advice you guys have to offer or stories of something similar that happened to you. It helps to know I'm not the only one going through this.
