Lmjh

You're right, because I have seen both my Bishop and counselor before and they haven't said to leave, nor have I gotten that answer in my prayers. Yes there are many good men out there without this problem, I don't doubt it, but we all have our faults and weaknesses... maybe it wouldn't be this but a drug addiction, abuse, anger, financial, medical, health...etc we deal the best we can with what we're dealt in life, and be grateful for and focus on the good. Anyone have good recommendations for a place online for support groups specifically for wives with husbands who struggle? And also one specifically for wives who's husband have left their faith?

Mdfxdb..... Exactly, that's what I have been asking myself recently and am trying to figure out. He is willing to get help and change, there has been good progress these 7 years and that's what gives me hope. I guess I'm really struggling right now with trying to trust him, I don't want to be this super paranoid, hovering wife always interrogating him, I just want the truth.

Windseeker, thanks for the positive support. I knew the problem would be ongoing, would be foolish of me to think that it would just magically disappear, I just didn't know to what extent. Leah, yes I realize that there are probably men out there who do not struggle with this, it just seems like there are none because pretty much every guy I know is struggling- it's a very widespread problem and is ever increasing in the church. I'm not staying in this marriage because I don't feel like there's something better... maybe there is another man who could make me happy, and yes i've often wished that I would have slowed down a little when dating him and stepped back and really thought things through more, but I didn't, it's done and in the past, I can't change that. I'm here now and even though progress has been made, it's still hard and I'm looking for support and advice. I don't feel I was in the wrong to marry my husband as with a million other people I know feel the same. The person is not the addiction, you have to separate the 2; the fact of life is that some really great people get dealt a really crappy hand with a very real and destructive addiction. I see the good in my husband, he has many great qualities. It's very hurtful and yes, my trust has been broken several times and is in the process of being built back up but, I mean, do you just give up on a person and a marriage because of this?

Yea, it has crossed my mind to go talk to my Bishop... I probably will, I've just been talking with my mom who's a great support and obviously praying my heart out. So I would've responded earlier but last night was a whirlwind because I confronted him about it. At first when I brought it up, he had no idea why I was bringing this all up and got up to walk away getting all frustrated but I told him he can't walk away from me like that especially with what I have to show him. I then handed him his phone with the pages pulled up and asked him to explain. I sat there and listened to him making excuses and whatnot instead of just owning up to his mistakes and take responsibility for them. We talked for a couple of hours and I let him explain himself, I listened.... basically his curiosity is what gets him into trouble in the first place, i told him to learn to curb his curiosity. He gets to the page and THEN he thinks how it will hurt me so he closes the page. I tell him start thinking more smartly and think BEFORE you do it how it will hurt and affect me. Then he says if he did have a sex addiction, i would have found more and a lot worse stuff... which is not necessarily true, he is very handy with computers and can get around anything. He says he's making progress... he's gone from looking at porn 4-5 hours a day before we got married to now with the occasional nude pictures of celebrities, bikini videos, etc... I do realize that things could be a lot worse, i know of people who deal with a lot worse, and at the same time this is not acceptable to me and I do not buy the excuse that "i'm just a guy", it's a cop out to me and makes it feel like it's ok because it's in their nature or whatever. He kept saying that I'm focusing on such a small thing when it could be a lot worse. That, it should show he's trying t show that i'm more important because he turned it away and didn't indulge. Yes on the not indulging part but shouldn't even be getting that close to the edge in the first place.... No one's perfect, we all make mistakes it's part of being human, I know the important thing is that we're continuing to try and do better and progress positively.I realize that it's not a sin to be tempted, but it's what we DO about those temptations. My trust is still rocky with him, it's going to take a while to build back up, but he's already installed monitoring things on his computer that tracks everything he does on electronics (he kinda needs his computer for work or else i would just crush it all haha and promised to go to bed with me instead of staying up late..... so, a willingness to change is good right? And in response to MDFXDB... I realize that I can't change him, yes, and the reason I married him is because I prayed about it and got the answer that things would be ok ( not sure what that meant exactly, but I felt peace), and I saw a sincere desire in him to want to change and he was seeking help. I don't think there's a guy out there who's not struggling with this in some way, and so what do you do in a marriage when you know you'll probably get the same situation or even worse with someone else.....

I feel like there's so much to say, sorry if its so long but here's the scoop: We've been married 7.5 years, 3 kids, lost our little girl in 2010 at age 2, husband announced to me he no longer believes in church last year(studied anti stuff without ever telling me for four years), has struggled with pornography since he was 6- I was aware of it when we married. There's just been so much that has damaged my trust in him, he gets frustrated that I don't trust him, but how can I when he tells me to my face he is fine and tells me to look at computer history (which means nothing to me as I know how handy he is with computers)- then I look through his phone today and find Internet searches of nude and explicit pictures/videos. He lied to my face, and frankly I'm tired of it. How can a marriage work without trust? I mean, having him deny his faith and losing a daughter is hard enough on our marriage, with this added... Dishonesty, is just making this all seem completely undoable. I love him so much, we have a beautiful family and he's a good dad and husband but ..... I just don't know what to think. I want a husband I can trust, I just feel sick to my stomach and am tired of feeling like I can't trust my own husband. I am sick of feeling suspicious all the time, i know theres MB problems but he claims hes not, but with his comment a few months ago about how he doesnt see anything wrong with MB, makes me doubtful... Its more likely hes just not telling me. he gets angry and defensivr everytime i ask him.It's like he's reconstructing all his definitions of things and recreating his own moral system since he left the church and so when I ask him if he's ok and being safe, I feel he answers it in accordance to his new set of beliefs. But he thinks I'm crazy when I even start to mention ideas like that.