NJsmom

Hahaha well that made me laugh at least. I'm open to answer any questions. I found last time (probably my fault in trying to condense a lot of information) that people didn't understand the time frame. This is an ongoing live issue for the last almost three years now. X

Some of you might remember my post a couple weeks ago. Last week I sent an "open" email (their preferred method in general) to two bishops, the stake president and the area president. Very soon I received an acknowledgement from my former bishop. He said he would reply at length later on. I am still waiting. I haven't heard a thing from anybody else. My testimony is taking a but of a hit right now. I don't understand how Heavenly Father can let this happen, but maybe this is what He wants. I just don't know anymore. I told my mother-in-law that I had raised a complaint (best word I can use). Her response was ambiguous. I still don't know if she was saying he wouldn't act that way or shouldn't act that way - do you see what I mean? I know it will be judgement on him/them eventually but where does that leave me now and the rest of this life? It hurts so much. One friend is telling me to go higher or even publicly; it already feels too late. X

I would love to contact the AP but the Church seem to have removed all contact details for area presidencies world wide. If anyone knows the Europe Area contact address I will be most grateful. My now SP is causing me problems. My bishop is not being helpful (I believe due to the SP) and although I have had VTs, HTs or even missionaries are conspicuous by their absence. I feel like he has deliberately and purposefully done certain things and said certain things to prevent me returning. I know this will be judgement on him in the end. I am at the end of my rope right now; to top this week off I have just found out my father will require a transplant in the not too near future, is omitted from receiving a transplant from the general donation pool so will only be able to obtain a living altruistic donation. This leaves me, if I am even a suitable match. My closest friend thinks I should settle for the terrestrial kingdom; my best friend outside the Church despises organised religion for being against her and her parents lifestyle choices and the only other person I am close to (though not geographically) has descended into the tin foil hat brigade. Life is not good in so many aspects. I wonder sometimes if I should just walk away. Concentrate on my family and business. But I can't, I love my Heavenly Father and I know this gospel is the only true church, knowledge and life (!) on this earth. I wish I could walk away but I can't. I wish I could go back but I can't.

Hi all again, I need some fast quick thoughts. I have been mulling over the suggestion of voting no at the next sustaining vote. I have just literally discovered that in a little over two hours time is the Saturday session of our stake conference. Do I go? My heart is racing. Xxx

Which bit?

I am going to confront him. Having mulled everything over, everything you guys have all kindly said, I don't think I have any other way forward. Gulp! X

Thank you for your response. The only information I have not shared is to do with identifying info. I don't know who reads these boards so obviously I don't want to write things that could "let the cat out of te bag" X

Wow go to bed all all heck breaks loose. This is not a law of chastity issue. It was a career timing versus children, considering adoption and potentially abortion (medical reasons) and I really needed the help and guidance as per the CHI. But because he had already accused me of attempting to seduce him - because late night small hours texts berating the responsibility of your calling are apparently nothing in his mind. I've been round the block in my past and NEVER handled this level of almost childishness based on facts, when this is just pure misunderstanding! I went anonymous because I do not see how it was my place to tell anyone "oh by the way I think our bishops having a breakdown" it wasn't my information to give. I made the anonymous appear to be about work not church at all. I "hid" it on the basis of the fact that he was obviously in pain and there was obviously some reason he felt the need to tell me (out of everyone) his feelings about his previous calling. No his wife is not the friend I am referring to. She is someone entirely different. But someone who has tried in her own way to support me with this situation but is too scared to raise anything given his previous and current callings as bishop and stake president. X

Anatess I think I am going to pinch your summary of it, I couldn't make it that succinct. But yes precisely. X

I didn't say it wasn't inappropriate. I said it was not about trying to seduce anyone.

Leah - that is how it was presented to me at the time by my then bishop. I don't pretend to know the ins and outs of it. And if it wasn't clear he was the one who contacted me to sound off in the first place, presumably not as a leader but as a friend. Or do people stop being friends when they attain positions of leadership? We were friends; we had a very similar conversion experience and similar negative experiences with friends and family as a result. I'm not sure why you seem to think a friendship in any way is inappropriate?

He's now (subsequent to the original problem) the stake president. I am glad for him in many many ways because I know how great he can be when he wants to be but it's while he has been in this calling he's made it clear i am not welcome. X

Leah - I knew and know that I shouldn't have used a separate account but it was calculated to prevent anyone else knowing. I wanted to check he was okay, which he obviously wasn't. He'd talked about feeling overwhelmed with the needs of people in the ward etc etc. I never said it was entirely appropriate in that regard but how that then moved to me trying to seduce him is genuinely beyond me. Anatess - that's quite funny in a way, no I wouldn't enter even the grounds to go to the distribution Center if I wasn't in the right place spiritually xxx

Hahaha sorry been allowing the thread to catch up. I've missed some people in my replies crossing. Okay yes the accusations purely are that I tried to seduce him. The first time I went to the temple was just for baptisms and was on a correctly administered limited recommend, that was not issued by him in any event. I can imagine a situation where his wife may have contorted an idea in her head that we had some sort of relationship but we did not. Categorically. There are no rumours on a ward or stake level. I am referring to information he may or may not have passed on to the leadership in my new ward, annotations to my record that sort of thing. Our mutual bishop has told me "I know what went on with x" which I had to respectfully disagree with, because he didn't get my side and had never asked. I do not know what he's said to the bishop. This person is now sat at stake level. And my only recourse higher would be the general authorities. He has made it painfully clear that I am not welcome. I mentioned the fact I was pregnant and him disbelieving me as I think he thought I was saying it to try and get attention in some convoluted way. It's not really relevant to the story or situation. He was aware of pretty much every intimate detail of my life which is partly why this hurts so much on that level. Xxx

Okay. Good thoughts. I am glad to hear of others with leadership issues who are still LDS (the blinker are off in that respect). In terms of telling bishop I'm not certain this would help due to the position it then might put him in with the stake. He accused me because of my subsequent email. It was just concern, yes I didn't use my details because he has his own domain and I didn't know what his wife could access. I figure that if he was tellin me how much pressure he felt in his calling (he is a convert too) that his wife wasn't really listening but rather bathing in the "glory" of his role (she's at least second generation). Blech, the worst bit for me is I have lost a really good friend who has helped me out tremendously so many times, right to my very first experience in the temple when I snuck in with the youth about two months after baptised. It's because of who I know he can be that I'm not raising the issue further in fact I don't know who I would go to!!! Xxx

No no no. I was accused by someone in leadership of trying to attempt an affair with that same person. Nothing to do with my son or anything like that! You've made me smile though!

Yes * Is it that a married LDS leader texted you, and somehow that's seen as inappropriate? No * Is it that he told you that you were not a candidate for exaltation? It seems absurd that anyone would make such a pronouncement, much less a leader. Yes * Is it that your friend told you she thought you should start investigating "lower kingdoms" because she didn't think you were fit for the celestial kingdom -- as if she could possibly know if you're fit, and as if we have any way of "investigating" kingdoms of glory about which we have almost no knowledge?

That's my point and has been all along!!! But he won't be grown up and move forward. It suddenly was all on me. Maybe I should have just told him straight away that it wasn't appropriate, but I was concerned. There's part of me still concerned. Because what if it's not anger and he's developed some sort of feelings for me?! That would be the only explanation I can think of. I don't mean love but I just mean that because he's maybe thought something inappropriate or whatever. I haven't had a straight answer from him since then beyond just that he doesn't want me there. The next ward out of my stake is an hour away. It not feasible for me right now economically or to be dragging my boy that far x

Nothing untoward as far as the content but it is suspect that him being married ad in leadership should be contacting me as opposed to his wife or priesthood leader person whatever. He accused me directly. X

Okay this I why it helps to be anon. To answer you Anddenex this person thought I had made a pass at him. In a nutshell. We had a good relationship, one night well early hours of the morning he messaged me in a bit of a state. Telling me he felt overwhelmed by his calling. Messages went back and forth a few times. Couple days later he apologised. I then stupidly emailed him from no my usual email (in concern and hiding my details not from him but from anyone who might've happened upon the email - I didn't want anyone else to see know or otherwise). That's when the accusations flew. Unfortunately at the same time I lost my grandmother and found out I was pregnant. Nothing will convince me he believed me when I first told him. In fact nothing will convince he acknowledged it till I had given birth. I'm not a large woman (size 6/8) but carried oddly in that I never bought maternity wear and aside from a slightly larger size in trousers wasn't obvious at all. I in fact had a blessing two days before giving birth and they were shell-shocked! I digress. That's it in a nutshell. And now I don't know what he's said or done or is manipulating behind the scenes. I am certain he is: I even confronted him with it - it's quite clear that he doesn't want me there. I don't know how far he would go to prevent it or how much sway he would have on my records etc. I so really don't want to believe this of him. But the only other alternative than him acting in anger is something I don't want to contemplate. Xxx

Not a her! It's someone in leadership. Xxx

Okay, let me start by saying that I am a regular reader and poster but my identity is too obvious I am looking for support and advice to try to see wood for trees. I don't mind answering questions, it's not about sensitivity. I converted to the Church almost ten years ago but have been inactive in my attendance this past two years. I have been maintaining a regular schedule of prayer and scripture study, read the Ensign and watches conference. I have recently moved into a new area, new ward same stake. I have met with my bishop, I have seen my VTs a few times and had contact with HTs too. This was all at my request. To sum up the best thing would be for me to include the text of a message I wrote to my bishop and have received no response or contact from anybody since. -------- Hi Bishop, I feel the need to write this as a sort of progress report I guess. First of all let me start by saying that I have been making a lot of progress. It is an oversimplification to put it like this but I know that the next step is to start attending Church and not just any church as I have been considering and pondering over. I know I have a testimony of the restoration, of the power of the priesthood, of temple work and I certainly have a testimony of President Hinckley albeit I can't determine if I have of President Monson. In any event I have a massive stumbling block that I am trying to get around/over/obliterate. That stumbling block relates to some issues I have with a particular person. Suffice it to say that they have been clear that I should not be at Church. I know I shouldn't let anybody stand in my way. Here's the bond though. If the person is acting a natural man, vengeful etc then I should just get over it as their problem I know that. But then there is a part of me that wonders if perhaps this person doesn't want me there because they are acting under the influence of Heavenly Father. I can see both sides of the coin equally, but that doesn't really get me very far. I don't feel there is a way around it, at least in this life. Misunderstandings, subsequent anger and no communication seeking resolution has been attempted, it is a conflict that just exists I suppose. As a result I feel like I am turning in a circle. I don't know what the future will hold, whether I will ever reach that next step. The only good thing is that despite now being "alone" in my testimony, it remains. I guess that proves something. --------- My only close friend now in the Church has told me that maybe I should look to the terrestrial world, rather than the Celestial Kingdom. The thought of that, the thought that at the moment I left the pre-mortal realm I said goodbye to Heavenly Father forever, well it brings me to tears. But what if she is right too? What if the point is I should just go to another church and develop a relationship with Christ only, live a terrestrial law? Thoughts? Thanx