I'm 30, husband is 32. We've both always wanted kids. When we got married 8 months ago we planned to have them right off, and I was happy about it, now, not as much. I still want kids, but I'm just not excited. I'm afraid I'll regret it if I get pregnant now. I'm not sure if I'm just afraid, if I want better timing, or I've pushed the desire away. We have been trying all 8 months and have only gotten pregnant twice, but had very early miscarriages (so early we hadn't even made it to the doctor or telling anyone), so I wonder if I'm just trying to not get attached because of the history. Also I'm a teacher, and if we wait a month or two longer it will land in the summer, which is more convenient, especially because I plan on quitting, and I hate the idea of leaving my students mid year and my principals having to find a replacement quickly while my students suffer through subs or temporary teachers, and I will get paid more if I can stick it out, but I guess that's being selfish. I also wonder if I'm afraid I won't be a good mother, or if I could have more miscarriages and lose them when I'm really attached. My husband wants to keep trying, and I'm willing, but I just want to feel excited about it, and don't know how, and I'm sick of nonLDS people telling me I just shouldn't have kids.
