Hello i have been off my mission for 4 months and I have gone 6months without masturbating, and relapsed today. It is a struggle that i have always had and that my older brother had as well. he has conquered but i have not. I have read so much about what general authorities have said and i have read the factory talk and I feel that just doesn't work that way with me. Just kind of bummed because this is how it happens every time. 6months i give into those feelings, and when i do feel a huge relief after because my urges go back to sleep for awhile and i go another six months and screw up because after so long its like the adversary hits me and my reasoning is gone, and i just do it, this weakness always males me humble my self and focus on whats really important in life. I want to be with a sweetie forever, and love her with no lust. These last two days have honestly been way rough, well last month per say. i listened to alot of talks this month, i love elder hollands talk about picture the face of your loved ones and would be shattered if you let them down, i also love the way to perfection given in 1989 general conference. I know the adversary wants me but i will hold the rod, i love the church, i love my savior, i will never miss a day of church in my life it's a integral part of me, my service to others as a servant of the lord has blessed me with so much peace. I love people, sometimes more than myself, and rarely i turn into my self and cry when i do. This life is really about losing the natural man and becoming a disciple of jesus christ forever. And advice you could give your fellow brother i would appreciate.
Also sorry about any spelling or punctuation, i sent this from my ipad
