Here's my story (which gives my perspective on this subject)... I'm sorry it's long, but I feel this subject deserves serious attention. It contains quite a bit of detail (be warned), but I think the time is long past where we can tip-toe around this issue without being able to discuss sexuality in a mature yet forthright way (many souls are tortured, as I have been many times in my life, by a lack of understanding and clear direction on this subject): To give you my background (which I think is important in understanding my perspective): I'm an active and believing Mormon (return missionary, temple married) who has always struggled with this issue. Even so, I have abstained from masturbation practically all of my life (almost 28 years old now, male), been married over 4 years (happily, most the time :). A couple years ago I began questioning (and investigating) what I understood to be the LDS stance on masturbation. I've talked to my wife about it quite a bit. My wife isn't sure but doesn't want me to do it so I still generally abstain from it because I respect her feelings. I bet I've masturbated less than 20 times in my life, almost all of which after beginning to question it (after mission and being married). Even so, I have struggled with the temptation all my life, and shameful feelings--even for anything remotely close to masturbation--due to the things I was taught at about it around age 12 (most of which seem to center around the question: Do I need to confess this to the bishop or not?). What bothers me the most is the very little direction provided by the 1st presidency on the subject relative to the enormous impact it has on members of the church. This REALLY affects a lot of people. I mean REALLY. I personally suffered serious shame from even my very small experience with masturbation due to what I was taught about it, and I'm confused/bothered by the fact that every bishop has a different thought on it and its spiritual seriousness and not much word from the general authorities to give clear direction. Is it on the order of fornication? Clearly not. Is it on the order of petting? I don't think so. Yet it is lumped in there in the for the strength of youth pamphlet with it in a single line "don't arouse those feelings in your own body". It's not even mentioned in the church handbook of instructions (which blows my mind). For such an important issue in terms of anxiety and shame that can be induced based on its association with worthiness and the seemingly still-in-force (albeit I pretty much believe it is simply a cultural, not doctrinal) "requirement" of confession for complete forgiveness, I think more direct guidance from the general authorities is long overdue. Growing up as a teenager I would occasionally tip-toe around masturbating in various ways (i.e. touching myself for some stimulation, but not to the point of orgasm) and even that would have me constantly worried that maybe I needed to talk to the bishop about it. The lack of clear direction was/is extremely frustrating for me. What has helped me is to recognize that the general authorities are human and may not always convey something that is God's will. We each need to gain a confirmation as to what is true and right for ourselves. I fasted and prayed about whether masturbation was sinful, and felt a very strong feeling during sacrament meeting that it was not inherently a sin (and this was before I even tried masturbating under those pretenses). Now, I'm sure somebody will respond with a quote regarding "if it conflicts with general authority's words on the subject, then it's revelation from the devil", but I can easily respond with many quotes (from many church presidents) supporting the fact that general authorities may err in some instances and that it is up to us to rely on the Holy Ghost to confirm the truth of it and it is our DUTY to do the best we can to seek out the truth for ourselves. And as I said, my wife doesn't want me to do it so I generally still abstain from it because I respect her feelings (though it can be a struggle and I'm not sure this is the right approach as it can cause some tension between us when we are not both on the same page in terms of libido). Everything that comes from general authorities on the subject for the last 30 years as far as I can tell is or is derived from a few talks by back in the 70's and 80's (search for masturbation on lds.org to see what I mean) and a line or two in the For the Strength of Youth pamphlets (which now doesn't even specifically say masturbation, and simply indicates that you should not arouse sexual feelings in your own body). Contrast that to pornography (which is clearly sinful in a scripturally supported way--unlike masturbation--i.e. "he that lusteth after a woman hath committed adultery already with her in his heart") that has been repeatedly addressed to this day. To make matters worse, in my own personal experience, opinions of local priesthood leaders have varying responses to it--some don't think it even requires a confession. Most (it seems) go for the (not-in-the-handbook) approach of "don't take the sacrament for a week", which in-and-of-itself is a major bummer for anybody who has had to do this--(you might as well tell your friends or family or whoever you sit with that you masturbated, since there isn't much else that you could have done that results in you skipping the sacrament). If it is a "serious sin" then why is there no clear direction on how it should be addressed by local authorities? (and I believe that many priesthood leaders--due to this lack of direction--address it inappropriately). I think the answer (as I said previously) is that it is either not inherently a sin if controlled or (more likely) not a serious one (i.e. try to control yourself and don't allow it to interfere with your life, but don't stress too much over it if you slip up, and don't worry about bothering the bishop about it). In fact, the latter conclusion actually seems to coincide nicely with what could be construed from the "current policy" on it which is simply the single line in for the strength of youth of "don't do it" with it not even mentioned in the church handbook. If that's all God's prophets have to say about it then I honestly have a hard time believing that God sees it as a great and malignant sin. Furthermore, I actually think that labelling it as a great bishop-confession-requiring sin induces far too much shame in proportion to its sinfulness... shame that I personally believe too often leads to hard to resist feelings of "I'm already so messed up and dirty, why not [masturbate more | view pornography too | do other uglier sins | etc.]". Furthermore, masturbation can be done without lustful thoughts (could masturbation possibly be a positive thing if involves thoughts of pleasuring your eternal companion or future eternal companion? I think so, but such possibilities are completely out of the question when the dogmatic "it's a great sin, confess to the bishop and don't take the sacrament for a week" perspective is used... and lead to the "well if I'm doing it I might as well think of the dirtiest most arousing thing I can think of while I do it (or even seek pornography to go along with it, which is definitely a terrible idea). Now, a case-in-point (and personal experience) regarding 1st presidency direction on sexual matters: about 30 years ago the first presidency issued a letter to all the units stating that they (the First Presidency) interpreted oral sex as "an unnatural, impure, or unholy practice" and in the temple recommend interview questions, members were asked if they participated in any "unnatural, impure, or unholy practice". Having been married only these last 4 years, my wife and I had never heard of this letter or any stance on the morality of oral sex between married couples whatsoever. We discovered through our own self discovery that oral sex added a LOT to our sexual relationship (especially in that it was pretty much the only way that she is able to reach orgasm, though we have since just last year decided to try a vibrator (which has been great for us)--sex toys: another issue that the church is silent upon as far as I know), and after finding that letter while researching mormon views on masturbation, I can say that I just don't feel right about that stance. If one partner is seriously uncomfortable with it, that's one thing... but to be "unholy" is quite another. Obviously that specific counsel against oral sex by Spencer W. Kimball (same one who is generally quoted for masturbation abstinence) has "gone away"--if it hasn't I sure HOPE that I would have heard of it before getting married. (I can only imagine the awkward interviews it caused when that came out). As far as I know, bishops are now counseled to basically stay out of the married couple's bedroom. BUT please note that it's not that the first presidency sent a letter out saying "nevermind about oral sex being unnatural, impure, and unholy... it's up to you to follow the spirit whether you feel it is or not between you in marriage"... I can understand why this is the case, however, as a lot of members would flip because they are operating (much to Brigham Young despair, as he very directly told the members not to act this way) under the pretense that the first presidency can't make mistakes and that they should be followed in every instance without question. (side note: Based on this, I can understand how much the first presidency struggled sending out the proclamation ending the practice of polygamy). So is that what is happening to masturbation? Is it simply an issue that previous leaders hard-lined about, but now are practically ignoring / leaving it up to individuals to feel out? It kind of seems that way to me. And that sucks for a lot of members like me always question whether a little indiscretion requires confession to the bishop. If you search masturbation on lds.org, it hasn't been mentioned in conference talks (and even then, only a few times) since the 80's (and specifically removing it from the For the Strength of Youth and replacing it with the single line "do not arouse these feelings in your own body"-- that being the only direction there is on the subject, it seems). Very unfortunate, considering how for me (and others no doubt) my struggle with shameful feelings related to masturbation have severely distracted me from focusing on other things related to worthiness that I could be improving upon. The unfortunate side effect of the "ignore it" or (without specifically saying so to the members) the "leave it up to them" stance (if I'm not mistaken in guessing that is truly what's happening here) is that we now have many many many local priesthood leaders who, without specific direction, continue to probe members and deal with masturbation the way it has generally been dealt with in the past (based on their own personal experience): it seems to me that the standard result in is "don't take the sacrament for a week"... this in spite of the fact that it is not even mentioned in the handbook. I've heard of mission presidents threatening to send a missionary home if they "did it again". I personally had a mission president who said "don't confess to me, just don't take the sacrament for a week" if you masturbated. At the end of my mission we got another mission president who, when he found out that a missionary in my zone (I was a zone leader) wasn't taking the sacrament, said to me "that's not what should be happening". Years ago when I took Bro. Bott's Doctrine and Covenants class at BYU, he said that he believes (and I hope I don't misrepresent what he said) that while it's not right to masturbate, that you shouldn't hesitate to take the sacrament and move on (and he is a former bishop and stake president), and not bother with confessing unless it is really an addiction / dragging you down in some way. He even said he's written the first presidency about this issue, begging them to give more direction to local priesthood leaders (as he, in his experience, has seen some priesthood leaders go to the extreme and tell members not to take the sacrament for extended periods of time due to some masturbation). No doubt the fact that no official direction on oral sex has been forthcoming has resulted in many couples who may have benefited from incorporating it into their sexual relationship still probably refraining from it due to 30 year old counsel that has not been directly refuted by subsequent general authorities. Even though it hasn't been directly refuted by general authorities, have my wife and I been sinning? I don't think so. Just my 2 cents. I hope my perspective is helpful to somebody. Should you answer "yes" to the "are you keeping the law of chastity" question of the temple recommend interview if you masturbate? That's between you and God. You should probably take the time to find out. I don't think God wants you to beat yourself up too much, though. PS. there is an excellent Sexual Health journal article from 2005 that addresses Mormons and masturbation (I won't link to it, but you can search it out easily)--it investigates the history of it which I found very interesting: In a Nutshell: Mormons and Masturbation Joseph Smith and Brigham Young: completely silent on the issue (though lots of other sexuality topics were very specifically addressed... very odd indeed). About that time around the world, the scientific community had some gross misconceptions about masturbation causing insanity, etc., and pretty much everybody in the world believed it to be terrible medically and/or sinful. 1890's was the first recorded first-presidency-involved discussion on it as a gross evil based on some meeting minutes. 1920's-1930's after science proved it to not cause insanity, etc., a church manual shows the stance on it appears to have softened a great deal (even compared with today). 1950's-1980's started to hardline against masturbation (as a sin) including youth interviews specifically addressing it... last 2 decades--nothing in the church handbook, and a single "don't do it" sentence in the for-the-strength-of-youth book, many local priesthood leaders don't ask about it directly and some do. Many differing opinions regarding its seriousness / requirements for repentance.
