myhousemd

No kids. I have intentionally not had kids because I don't want to drag them into such an unhealthy family situation. I also read a scripture this morning in 1 Tim, which said that a man who doesn't support his wife/family is worse than an infidel. Also, some general conference talk mentioned that those in marriages where the spouse refuses to take responsibility know of circumstances "worse than divorce". It's funny how I finally found the scriptures I've been needing the past two years, and your opinions seem to align perfectly with what I've been thinking and what my mother and friends have been saying.

I've been on this site before, but can't remember my username or the email I used. I haven't had internet access for a while. I am considering divorce. Actually, I filed for divorce a month and a half ago, but my bishop guilted me into annulling it by saying that I wasn't listening to God because I wouldn't forgive my husband for two years of addiction, neglect, and general irresponsibility. I had become his mother, and still feel that way pretty often. My husband sold his video games, installed internet monitoring software on his laptop and phone, and promised to start looking for jobs on a regular basis. Well, he was only looking at and applying to a few jobs each week. I confronted him about it, and he insisted he did more than the monitoring software tracked b/c he had used my laptop. I changed the password on my laptop, and he miraculously found a job a week later. Just a few days ago, he stated that he didn't want to sell his Nintendo DS and Zelda for Wii because of sentimental reasons. He has also convinced the friend to whom he sold his other games and systems to give a few games back. Now, these things are significant because our relationship has been an almost monthly rollercoaster of me telling him I want out of the marriage, him promising to change, and then his changes fading after a week or so. This, and other lies, has led to a complete breakdown of trust. Now, a new-ish problem in the relationship is that he has accused me of being untrustworthy, but his only reasons are that I hang out with my friends w/o him and that I tried to commit suicide. (I tried to commit suicide b/c of pressure from some friends and bishop to stay in such a miserable marriage.) It also seems important to note that the only person I have been able to develop a friendship with in the two years of being married is a guy, who shall be called Bob. It is also important to note that Bob has Asperger's, which really negates any chance of an emotional (much less physical!) affair. I've also always had more guy friends, for whatever reason. Bob and my husband don't like each other, largely due to the tension that my husband creates whenever I would try to hang out with the both of them. Thus, I hang out with Bob w/o my husband. Just a few days ago I also befriended a girl, who shall be called Laura, who is also besties with Bob. In fact, I hadn't hung out w/ Bob for weeks b/c I was trying to do as my bishop said and work on the marriage, which meant trying not to piss of my husband by hanging out w/ anyone other than him. In the past, he has been jealous of my friends (names changed) Annie, Jake, Nancy, and Erin. Whenever I want to invite someone over to spend time w/ Mark and I, he rejects it or asks pissy and admits that he feels like I don't want to spend time with him. Well, the truth is that I don't. I am tired of being forced to be alone or spend time with a man who I neither respect, trust, nor love. The Bishop keeps emphasizing forgiveness. As my husband's behavior becomes more controlling, and seems to be turning back to some of his addictions, I am wondering where the line lies b/t forgiving someone for their actions and ignoring the warning signs of an abusive/toxic relationship. I feel as though i ignored those signs while I was dating my husband b/c I chose to trust what he said over what our friends were saying. I have discovered over the past two years that much of what he claimed back then was a lie. We aren't sealed, and as I am getting my endowments soon I realize that I absolutely dread being sealed to my husband. So, what are your thoughts on where the line lies between forgiveness and ignoring serious warning signs in a marriage? (Mind you, I haven't given an exhaustive list of the problems in my marriage, just a few examples.)