punkrebelmama

I wanted to chime in here, because I had asked this question during the first bishop's interview before getting married 18 years ago. Since then the answers have changed a bit. The culture of the church has changed during the last 100-200 years (lol)...in the fifties and sixties it became imperative to sync what was being taught within the church, so doing things "by the book" was stressed. The church weighed in on every topic with detailed instructions, including sex. By the eighties, members reacted negatively to a letter by president Kimball outlining sexual acts specifically as unpure. The letter was worded in a way that indicated these were his feelings, but it was put out there as an official church statement on the matter. Within a very short time the letter was retracted and a new statement was issued with far less detail. Over time the church's official stances on topics had gradually become less "by the letter" and more "by the spirit". For example, compare the for the strength of youth pamphlets from the early 90's to today's version. Today, in the official bishop's handbook it states that sexual relations are to remain between husband and wife, and that they both need to agree. Common sense would indicate that since sex is a gift to bring husband and wife closer together, that ANY sexual practice that divides, isolates or pushes away would NOT be in harmony with God's plan. And that includes using sex as a weapon or punishment/reward, refusing to care for the other's sexual needs, a female that isn't climaxing...etc. Whatever it is you do as a couple in the bedroom, the bishop is forbidden to even question. and can only repeat that counsel verbatim as stated in his handbook.